Jordan, I hope you're still getting notifications about this thread reply. If not, I'll FB you soon. I just saw you came off night-shift and felt so bad for not keeping in touch (like I had promised...we'll get to that soon!). Albeit short but sweet, I enjoyed our chat. Then I briefly came on here and for some reason wanted to check your profile and saw this. I can completely relate, mdear.
1) I am sorry for not meeting up, when I said I would. I think a lot of it had to do with this website, in all honesty. It's quite a big thing to meet someone face-to-face after admitting doing what we do, isn't it? I'm just glad you came back to the forum when you needed support - that's exactly what it's there for :) I think when I admitted everything to you it was a relief and cathartic...but then I was petrified of meeting you again face-to-face. I wasn't sure whether to be "me" or the "me" you knew in school, or a weird hybrid? I've had a lot of "finding myself" to do, and I think I've done it. (cheeeeeeeese)
2) I am the EXACT same with that yearbook. Maybe not the DVD as such (because that was funny as feck, seeing a certain someone blasted with the fire extinguisher, eh??). But yeah, it just reminds me of how alone I felt. I know what you mean - we had friends, we still keep in touch with a few etc etc, but it was just that period of time where (for me personally) I was so unsure of myself and so emotionally drained by everyday things. Of course it's going to be upsetting "re-living" that time.
3) A slip-up, is a slip-up. I was once of the opinion that if I went a year free, then did it once, I was a fuck-up and had failed etc etc. But a full on relapse is entirely different. And I know things may be....strained :P between us. Not intentionally, but just because we've never had that relationship where we ever spoke about these sorts of things before...but I do hope that you're able to speak to me if you need to. Or on here! It is EPIC. Can't wait until it's a registered charity and im 30 and I win a shitload on Million Pound Drop for it ;)
I'll be home soon, so if you want you meet up, we can. Or if you're in the Burgh anytime, please give me a text.
Thanks for still using the site, JC. It's what I recommended it for.