Thank you.
My CPN had been off for a bit and said she did phone me back and left a message but I didn't get it. It was hard to describe things again. I have a limited vocabulary and there are no words in the world to describe some things. I tried to talk about meds but as I thought my CPN said there are no meds that will help only psychology but psychology are too risk averse to take me on. It doesn't help that I can't explain what I want meds to help with. I don't think I could have a discussion with my psychiatrist about meds now that my CPN has said a definite no. She wants me to go to the gym group this week and said I'll have Friday and the weekend to rest. She doesn't understand the impact of things on each day for 3/4 days in a row. I'm not seeing her for a while again because she still has lots more holiday time to take. She did say I could see another CPN but I said I'll just try to phone someone if I need to.
I need to get on with overdosing. I hope I will do it at the end of the week. My other forms of self harm are not enough. My CPN thinks my self harm is serious because of the things I try to do even though I don't cause much damage but trying isn't enough for me.
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