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Old 31-08-2018, 06:14 AM   #1
Just breathe.
Haleigh.xx's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: PA, USA
I am currently:
I have been away for 8 years

Edit: now that I looked again I have only been away for 5 years.

I can’t help but smirk at my old posts and journal entries. So many times I didn’t think I was going to make it because of stupid junk. I graduated college 2 years ago. I am a registered nurse now. I have my own place and a decent significant other. The past 8 years were filled with hospitalizations but I’ve been pretty stable for the past 2 years. However, I recently lost my father extremely unexpectedly and times are hard. I was coping really well but then other things have piled on top of it and now I have re-entered a place of self pity. I know that only keeps me in the cycle of depression and behaviors but for some reason I feel like I’m entitled to a bit of a breakdown. I am always the voice of reason to people in my life, I’m the one who actually “got it together.” A few months ago I made a comment about how I truly felt that it was impossible for me to ever relapse, especially with the eating disorder. Here I am though. I know life is filled with ups and downs and life and death and I need to get a grip on myself but for some reason being so miserable feels so comforting.

I’m not looking for replies or support or anything. I think I just wanted to speak.

Last edited by Haleigh.xx : 31-08-2018 at 06:26 AM. Reason: Inaccurate title
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