My friend who is in hospital is upsetting me again. She hasn't text me for a while but did yesterday just calling me a strange one and asking me how I am. She didn't reply when I text her back but she replied today saying she's fine and calling me a weirdo, so I text her back saying it's more likely that she's the weirdo with a sticky out tongue face so she'd know I was joking, then a couple of minutes later she said she was fine idiots looking after my cat or trying to (I'm unsure if this was directed at me). And then said she's not weird she's intelligent and the sooner she gets away the better and I won't be getting her contact details because if I hadn't blogged stuff about her on my laptop and it got lost then none of her information would have been leaked. She's talking about an entry I made in my password protected blog when we first met that simply said I had met a nice lady and we might be going on walks together. I was scammed when selling 2 of my old laptops and didn't get paid for them so she thinks I left information on them about her (which I didn't).
She said she doesn't want me writing anything about her again and she's very annoyed about how I was with her when I met her at the hospital. I explained what I had written in my blog and that it didn't give her personal details and it's password protected and she text back saying it's lucky I know about that stuff because she's just thick (in a sarcastic and angry manner). Her last text said I haven't even visited her and I explained that it was because she said I was making her feel bad. I didn't mention that she is making me feel bad too. She hasn't replied yet.
I know she's not well but that doesn't change what her beliefs about me are right at this moment. I actually can't remember what it was like to have a good friendship with her now that all of this has changed. She seems to be getting worse with treatment rather than better. She'll be saying stuff to the staff and at least a couple of the nurses already dislike me so they will hate me even more. I really just add shit to the earth. I need to kill myself. I want to know of a sure way. I wish I would take action and get it right because it's for the best.