That does sound draining and whilst it's important that she's able to process her grief in whatever way she needs to, it doesn't sound like that will actually be helpful for her long term, and also she needs to be aware that you are grieving too and that the way she deals with it affects you. Is there anyone who could communicate with her on your behalf to gently make her aware of why you're struggle to talk to her?
Thinking of you and I'm sorry that things are so hard.
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