Hi Lianna
You have no idea how much I can relate to this. However, i think the important thing is to keep remembering what you are giving up when being anorexic. anorexia doesnt come without cost. Most importantly, you are giving up your health as well as social relations, your happiness etc. Anorexia isolates you and it wont ever make you happy.
I know how tempting it is to go back, believe me but you need to remember the bad things about anorexia. maybe making a pro and con list will help you? It forces you to focus on the bad things instead you just all the glorified things your mind chooses to remember.
This is an illness that doesnt just go away and it sounds like you are still struggling a great deal even though you consider yourself recovered. Do you have any professional help? if not, maybe it's time to seek some. It is horrible to go through these things alone and you deserve help. I am glad you chose to reach out on here even though you havent been here for long. you dont have to go through this alone.
Anna
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