yeah, hospital is so different and its a shame there isnt a part way between the low expectations and high support of hospital setting and being at home with all the memories and associations to feelings etc.
i know how you mean its achey and not sharp.
could you maybe try and do some self soothing stuff where you look after yourself, maybe it would help take away self harm thoughts. sometimes i take a long bath and take my time over everything and it feels relaxing. although other times it triggers me so i dont know what is helpful to you, but just trying to give an example
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