Hey stella, thanks for replying! It helps to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way.
"had nothing to do with finding the "right" person"
Thanks for this bit, I feel like this is the only honest comment I've ever heard on the subject. Everyone seems so idealistic - I have a friend who's never had sex and she so strongly believes that it'll be great as long as you're with someone you love. It made me feel worse for not enjoying it with my ex, made me start questioning whether I really loved him. But this seems much more realistic and honest - my feelings come from me and my past, not from the guy I'm with.