i'm sorry to hear you've gone through so much. i can understand how from being in a similar relationship in your past relationship that your current relationship seems confusing. obviously he is better than your first boyfriend but that does not mean it is the way you should be treated or what you deserve. i think the fact that he hit you and you didn't tell anyone shows deep down that you know something is wrong. perhaps talking to someone outside of your friends and family such as a doc would help you gain another perspective?
i think you need to remember that you are so valuable. you deserve to be loved and treated with respect.