[activebrain]

Hi I'm new to the Forum and hope that this can be a good outlet for me and support. I am dealing with so much and so frustrated because of everything that's going on. I was sexually abused by my father for 30 years and I blocked it out for that entire time. To make it worse, he sold me to other men as well who also raped me. He also managed to find ways to mind control me and is the cause of my eating disorder. To make things worse I am seeing some of these people around town. Thankfully I do not see my father because he is in another city in a nursing home. I keep having flashbacks though which does not make any of this easier. Of course it's the flashbacks that clued me into all of this because I was completely unaware of it the entire time. Not really sure what I'm wanting from this except support I guess. Oh and he's also the cause of my years of self-harm and suicide attempts. Literally. He actually told me to self harm and to attempt suicide. Well forget attempting he wanted me to kill myself. He also even told me specific ways to do it. So I'm just dealing with 30 years of abuse in a 1 and 1/2 year time frame. And I'm really not wanting to live with all of this pain from the trauma.