[Mutende kuli ine]

So, when I was in chat today someone asked that question, or at least a question along those lines. And people answered with, 'He does it for fun, just to pick on us and laugh." It can feel that way. But, it's important we know that it isn't that way. I ask the same questions sometimes. In fact, one night last week I had and 'episode'. I had run down the street with a pocket full of pills and a razor with the intention of going to the park to kill myself. Well, I backed out. When I went back home I was still pretty upset. When I walked into my room I tripped over my Bible that was in the floor and that triggered my questions of "Why God do you let me feel this way, what did I do to deserve it." Later on when I had calmed down, I went to straighten up my room where I had destroyed it earlier. I picked up a book called "Sticking Up For Who I Am" and opened it. It opened right to the chapter called, "If God Loves Me, Why Does He Let Me Hurt." Some people would call this a coincidence, but I believe God answers our questions in many different ways, and I believe this was His way of answering mine. I read the chapter and afterwards felt a huge sense of relief. So, since it seems so many people are struggling with this question, I thought I'd share a few points from the book, in hopes it will help someone.

First off, God didn't create pain and suffering. Pain and suffering entered the world as a result of Adam's choice to disobey God's commandments. With that came the reality of spending eternity separated from God and in a constant state of pain. According to 2 Peter 3:9, God allows the suffering here on earth to continue so that as many people as possible can be given the opportunity to accept Jesus as their Savior and escape the horrors of an eternity without God. God is not powerless to get rid of pain. He is just patient. I think the fact that people know He has the power to get rid of it, yet He chooses not to is what makes people think He does it for fun or that He doesn't care. God has promised that someday He will completely do away with all evil on this planet and al he pain it causes. Then those who have chosen to accept the sacrifice of His son will live forever in an eternally perfect, pain free world.

John 16:33 says, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Jesus warns us that we are all going to face painful times in our lives- not because we do bad things but because we live in this world. Sometimes we suffer because of mistakes of our own, but other times we do nothing to deserve the pain we experience. There is nothing we can do about it except to expect God to help us through the pain and allow Him to use it however He chooses. James 1:12 tells us we will eventually wear a crown of victory if we persevere though the trials we face.

The book of Esther tells a story of a girl who faced a terrible painful childhood yet experienced great victory and found herself wearing a crown. Esther had 3 major strikes against her in life.
1.) She was Jewish and the entire Jewish nation had been conquered by the Babylonians. All Jews had been either killed or captured and Esther had very little freedom.
2.) She was a female. Most civil rights at that time belonged to the males. A woman's rights were those granted to her by her husband or father.
3.)Both her parents had died. In that society, an orphaned young girl was the lowest of all the people with very little hope of improving her status. She had nothing to offer the family of a Jewish man in exchange for the right to marry him. The only thing Esther had going for her was the fact that she was pretty. But that didn't count for much seeing as she didn't have any possessions or any power- nothing that would attract a family to let their son marry her.

So, basically she had a crappy childhood and no hope for the future. Add the fact that a deranged man who hated Jews had risen to power and convinced that king to issue an edict demanding their annihilation, and the future for Esther looked rather grim.

But God had a purpose for the pain Esther endured. Everything that made her unattractive to a Jewish family in search of a spouse for their son made her available for God's plan. Because she wasn't engaged to be married as most girls her age were, it made her eligible to enter the beauty pageant the king conducted in search for a new wife. She won the whole thing. Esther was given the most prestigious crown any girl on earth could have worn at that time in history. She became the queen of Persia. And she took the positions just in time to save her people form extermintation. God used Esther to rescue the entire Jewsish nation!

God ALWAYS has a purpose for our pain. If He can't use it, He won't allow it.

Sometime God allows us to experience pain in order to protect us.

He sometimes uses pain to get our attention. He will allow us to suffer a temporary injury if He knows it can prevent us from sustaining permanent damage. Look at Hebrews 12:6-7,10-11

Sometimes God allows us to experience pain in order to prune us.
When God sees an area in our lives that is getting a little scraggly, He often cuts it back so that ir will be able to produce more fruit. John 15:1-2, Jesus says, "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."

Sometimes God allows us to experience pain in order to reveal His power and glory.
God used the pain Esther experienced early in her life to magnificently reveal His power the the world. Take the blind man told about in John 9. When Jesus' disciples asked, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned.....but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." (John 9:2-3)

Sometimes God allows us to experience pain in order to spread the Gospel.
After His resurrection, Jesus appeared to His followers and commanded them to spread the good news all over the world. Instead though, they huddles together in Jerusalem for safety and support. It took a little heat in their lives to get them to comply with Jesus' commands. One day a religious leader named Saul began dragging Christians out of their homes and imprisoning them, and then he stood and watched as one of them was stoned to death. Acts 8:1 says, "On that day a great persecution broke out against the church at Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria." It wasn't pleasant for the disciples to experience painful persecutions, but it was necessary to get them to leave Jerusalem and take the message of Jesus' resurrection to the places God intended.

Painful experiences are inevitable in our lives, but how are we supposed to react when we find ourselves hurting??

We Must Not Mistake The Presence Of Pain For The Absence Of God.

Take the story of Lazarus. I'll try and make it short. Lazarus got sick, his sisters sent for Jesus, He was their friend, Jesus and his disciples were within walking distance, but He chose to not come to their rescue when they needed Him. Or so it seemed. Lazarus died and was buried and Jesus was nowhere to be seen. He had purposely chosen not to show up until it seemed to late. When Jesus finally got to Bethany both sisters ran to him and said, "Lord, if you had been here, our brother would not have died." They new that if Jesus had chosen to intervene, this terrible tragedy would not have occurred. But Jesus had a plan, He wanted to do more than just heal a sick friend. It was only in Mary and Martha's darkest moments of anguish and pain that Jesus was best able to demonstrate the full extent of God's power and completeness of His love. It was in that time that He could bring the greatest glory to God. Jesus questioned Martha, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" He then proceeded to raise Lazarus from the dead. God wasn't absent when Mary and Martha were experiencing great pain, He was implementing a plan. He didn't cause the illness that took their brother's life, but He used it to bring significant healing to many people who would otherwise have remained lost and dying.
If God can raise Lazarus from the dead, He can certainly handle any problems we may have now.

We Must Allow The Pain To Empower Us- Not Impair Us

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am stong."

Paul's response to pain and tragedy raised the curiosity of unbelievers all around him. As they saw the light of Christ shining through him, many were drawn to his Savior.
Stars shine just a bright during the day as they do at night, but their light is insignificant compared to the brilliance of the sun. It's only when they are surrounded by darkness that the starts can be counted in the sky. The same is true with our lives... the darker things are around us, the more we can shine.

We Must Remember That Our Pain Is Temporary
Our suffering is temporary even if it lasts a lifetime here on earth. 2 Corinthians 4:17 says, "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." The size and duration of our present pain is nothing compared to the size and duration of the glory we'll experience in heaven. Revelation 21:3-4 "He will wipe every tear from our eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain."

If pain is a place we have to go(and Jesus has told us it is in John 16:33) then we should make the trip worthwhile. We should get everything out of it that we possibly can and we must accept it, learn from it, and let God use it!

As we wait for the day when God will end all pain, we must hold to the Word of God and let it shine through us in a dark and painful world. It is our job to attract others to a relationship with God that will allow them to spend their eternity free from sorrow and pain.

After I read that chapter, the thought of suicide just seemed ridiculous to me. Who am I to decide whether or not my pain has a purpose? By taking my own life I'm telling God that I don't care about His plans for me. But I do care. And I now realize that God doesn't hate me. I didn't do anything to deserve to be Bipolar. I didn't do anything to deserve the abuse from my father. I've done nothing to deserve some of this pain. But, I have to deal with this pain. I can't get rid of it. Good news is though, I don't have to deal with it alone. I can fully expect God to be there for me, whenever and wherever I need Him.

I know that whatever plan God has for me must be good since I've had to experience so much pain and discomfort in my life. And I'm going to give Him the chance to show me His plan for me, something I couldn't do if I were dead.

So, I'm hoping this restored someone's hope. I'd like to hear some peoples experiences. So feel free to Share.