Iam sorry you want to hurt yourself. I used to cut but now bruise myself but I can relate to your post so much! When I first started cutting, I didn't know why I did it, except that it was a relief.
Even though I hit, I wonder the same thing. Sure it helps when emotions are building up inside, but the relief never lasts. Once the high is worn off, I feel so angry that I harmed again, and the urge to want to hit comes back.
Now I wake up with bruises and sore legs and pain when I walk. Barely touching the bruises hurt and they look disgusting. I think why can't I handle difficult emotions like normal people? Why did I ever start harming? Are a few seconds of relief worth anger, shame, and days of pain?
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