Also i dont know what i wud do without them other than text her every time i feel like hurting myself ehich i do anyeay and she helps me deal with my feelings i just feel luke im at a crossroads and that to quote a song im stranded between relapse and recovery . Im not sure what i hope to gain from writing this but i had to let it out part of me is screaming at myself insde but if i get rid of current tools im worried that i will buy more buy clean new ones if i did that it wud b easier to give in to the urges (im needle phobic and wud need a tetanus if i used the current tools) weird thing is i havent used them ive had them at home hidden for a week n not used them
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