What "saved the strawberries" said does make a lot of sense but I still can't get it out of my head that he has taken something precious from me, that he has damaged me in some way! How do I get him out of my head, my dreams, my thoughts, off my skin? It's been about 15 yrs since it happened and it still haunts me, he still haunts me! I used to scrub my skin till it bled to get him off me, the "dirt", but I don't do that anymore because I'm trying to stop Self Injuring. I don't know what to do! Sometimes I want to start scrubbing my skin again and bashing my head again to get him out. I just don't know what to do! Will he/it ever go away? I think of suicide a lot, thinking it may "solve" this problem! But I know it won't, I'll still be stuck with me! I see a psychologist once a fortnight which does help a little but it's not enough! I'm so scared of myself, of resorting back to my old ways! Does anyone have any suggestions of constructive things to help me calm down after talking about this stuff with my psych? It's been nearly 10 months since I last Self Injured and I still think about it everyday, do the urges and thoughts ever leave? If they don't I think I may as well give in and stop fighting it and just do it!
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