I'm feeling mega low. I was lying awake in bed last night thinking about how long it takes me to get to sleep and that sleep is the only sort of respite there is from life so I don't get much respite. I really wish I had never been born, there is no point to me.
Is anyone happy in life? If not then maybe we should destroy all humankind.
I've been getting anxious when I'm out thinking I should be paying close attention to everything in case a crime happens and I'm needed as an eyewitness. Also the past couple of days a security light on a house has been flashing and I've never seen it do that before. If I haven't seen it before then that means it's not a normal occurrence so someone should notice it and fix it. Since no one is noticing and fixing it it must be only me who can see it and it's some form of communication, probably from the men. I don't know what it means though. I try to walk home quickly because I feel so on edge.
I phoned my key worker about stopping going to groups etc and she said I can put them on hold for now and she's going to come and see me on Sunday to talk about it. There is so much in my head and I don't think I can express anything well enough. The pain in life is not worth carrying on with. Something needs to be sorted for my brother and then I can die. So, so depressed.
Last edited by one_step_closer : 14-01-2019 at 04:14 PM.
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