Thank you for the support.
It does indeed feel terrifying to give up the ED. I can't find Liv, all I can hear is anorexia. But I have really opened up to the psychologist tonight, and talked a lot about the ED thoughts.
I have had an awful day. I am so so angry and I don't know why, I'm just terrified of eating and hating having no leave to go home and I want everyone to be angry and hate me so they give up on me and let me die. I threw all my clothes away except the ones I'm wearing, kicked the walls and bruised all my hand punching the wall. They say it''s OK, it''s not like me, but I hate myself so so much. I am just so frightened and angry and I just have to lose weight and exercise, I cannot bear looking like this anymore. I am grotesque. Disgusting. Horrific. I am so ugly and so ashamed.
Lunch went OK yesterday, I had dinner too and kept it down. I did have dinner today but didn't manage a lot, I hid it. But tomorrow is a new day (again), so I'm trying for lunch and dinner again.
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