I am on a Section 2 now. I have been for a week now, after spending 4 days in a 136 suite.
Eating is non-existent and I have lost any part of Liv. My brain is anorexia. I am consumed and I can't see any choice or any hope. I spent a night in A&E on Tuesday on a glucose drip, I am having blood sugars checked multiple times a day, they are giving me options of either drinking sugary tea or calling the ambulance again. I panic if I am faced with food or water. I tried to run, tried to hurt myself, am on bare room. They have made a referral to an EDU because they said they can't manage my ED here.
Today I have tried to find Liv again. I have told them I want to try and eat at lunch. A tiny part of me is trying so hard to fight today. I want some leave at Christmas, I just want to be home. But I am so terrified and so confused and so low and so out of control and so alone. I am so exhausted. It is taking all my energy to stand up or walk. All I can do at the moment is colour. I try exercising when I can but it is so hard to stop. I am trying to listen to that tiny part today. The little part of my head that says I can't do this anymore, I want to try and get better. But I am so confused and desperate and scared.
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