[Sleepless123]

Emily i dont know know you but i want to say this and i hope you dont mind.

You arent hopeless.Not at all.Your a very brave and special person who is going through so much.i wish i could take your pain away but i know no words will right now.i feel for you so deeply.Please feel free to PM me anytime.i would like to be there for you.

You must be feeling so hurt and lost and i truely cannot even begin to imagine how things must be for you right now.You must feel so lost, alone and in so much emotional pain but things really can get better from here.i promise you they can.Please lean on people here and the people around you in real life right now.im sure they only want to help you through all this.Please let them know how bad your feeling/how hard your finding things and dont bottle things up.Try to keep communicating.

Please dont give up Emily.You are very important and valuable and special and have come through so much already.You can do this even if it really doesnt feel like it right now.You can.

Thinking of you.

xx xx

PS Just read a bit of your post i think missed earlier sorry.i dont think there is a right way to grieve.Just let yourself feel how you feel - grieving is different for everyone and there is no right or wrong way.Secondly the hospital is there to help you yes.Do you know why you feel so scared of them?Though it would be understandable for you to be scared of pretty much anything right now i should think given the trauma you have been through.Give it time.Has something happened for you to think they are mean?xx xx