Hi Dussa,
I'm sorry that you're feeling so low. A lot of people here will relate to what you're feeling and may be able to give you the support you need.
Your best bets are to post either here:
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...splay.php?f=44
which is the Mental Health support
or in The Veterans Support depending on your age.
I hope you get the support you need
Vicki