thank you guys. I took your adivce I sent an email. she was upset at me because she thought I couldnt trust her, I do trust her, i wrote somethings, I told her about my depression, my eating disorder and the abuse explaining why I get scared when people touch me.. I know i did the right thing in telling her, she told me all about herself, and I think our friendship is getting back now.. as for my bestfriend, hmm well I hurt him, both him and my other friends told me they loved me at about the same time, I was confused because I had never felt it before, so I kissed him and when I realised I was totally inlove with our otherfriend, while I told him I would always be his bestfriend, i think I went about it wrongly and he tried to kill himself...
I would love to tell him how it feels but I just cant. I wish I could, and if he reads this im dead but, I am trying really hard to 'hide' our relationship because he asked me to but, knowing your bestfriend hates you, our knwoing that its when he thinks of you he wants to kill himself... is kind of hard at the moment.
But my girlfriend stayed up talking to me last night and I am feeling a bit better, everything still hurts and is dark but, its better then last night. thank you all so much
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