I can't feel anything Zarina, please understand. You and Ellie are away. I don't think I'll be able to get through the day... It's just so frustrating when I can't breathe. When you're not there I cut badly... I need you. You aren't far. France. You said you weren't going this holiday, you lied. Ellie and I are worried about you anyway, you haven't been yourself since the summer. Don't try to hide it, I can see it. I know it's all my fault because Summer was when I started. I ruin everything. I can't help it I'm sorry for hurting you. it's helping me, don't be sad. It's keeping me alive, remember that.
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