RYL Forums - View Single Post - the aftermath of SI (please don't read if vulnerable)

-Stewie- · 22-04-2010, 03:24 AM

I haven't cut properly for 16/17 months now, bar one slip up.

This is how I have come to see the whole stage/process in my life as, and I would be interested to hear views and any support would be welcomed.

I think of the stuff that lead me to first cut as causing a huge wound.

SI was an anaesthetic; it numbed the pain of this wound. It did nothing to help it, and like literal anaesthetic was pretty dangerous when I had too much of it.

When I stopped, the pain of the wound was almost overwhelming. But as time goes on it is healing. It is just the most painful process in the world; not as such because I'm off the anaesthetic; more that I've become immune. Even if I were to have it back in my life, it wouldn't numb anything anymore. So I am fully conscious of that pain every waking moment, even though it is slowly healing. It will just take a lot of time, and as the edges of it slowly begin to heal over they don't hurt anymore, they're just a bit tender.

I don't know what the point of that was... but yeah.

22-04-2010, 03:24 AM	#1
-Stewie- da quen b Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: London I am currently:	the aftermath of SI (please don't read if vulnerable) I haven't cut properly for 16/17 months now, bar one slip up. This is how I have come to see the whole stage/process in my life as, and I would be interested to hear views and any support would be welcomed. I think of the stuff that lead me to first cut as causing a huge wound. SI was an anaesthetic; it numbed the pain of this wound. It did nothing to help it, and like literal anaesthetic was pretty dangerous when I had too much of it. When I stopped, the pain of the wound was almost overwhelming. But as time goes on it is healing. It is just the most painful process in the world; not as such because I'm off the anaesthetic; more that I've become immune. Even if I were to have it back in my life, it wouldn't numb anything anymore. So I am fully conscious of that pain every waking moment, even though it is slowly healing. It will just take a lot of time, and as the edges of it slowly begin to heal over they don't hurt anymore, they're just a bit tender. I don't know what the point of that was... but yeah.
	"Zeus did not want man to throw his life away, no matter how much the other evils might torment him, but rather to go on letting himself be tormented anew. To that end, he gives man hope. In truth, it is the most evil of evils because it prolongs man's torment."