Hi there,
It is completely understandable to grieve and feel saddened and hurt when something you love so much passes away-it is just as real and valid as any human death in the impact your dog's death has had in your heart. It might be worth making a memory box of him, maybe put in some pictures, his collar, a favourite toy? Then all those happy memories you spoke of-they are kept alive both in your head and in a more physical and tangible way in that box.
It is also very understandable to want to turn to an old coping mechanism like self harm to deal with difficult things, though it might be worth asking yourself questions such as 'Can I talk to someone or distract myself instead of self harm?' or 'Do I really want to let this urge control me and my life?'
Take care
Katy.
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