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Forum: General Support and Advice 27-05-2020, 07:10 PM
Replies: 910
Views: 77,309
Posted By CaptainB2
Hopeless, defeated, and ready to pull the trigger...

Hopeless, defeated, and ready to pull the trigger once and for all and end this pain. I’m sorry......it’s over
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 27-05-2020, 05:09 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 825
Posted By CaptainB2
Well I’m taking it back when I said I...

Well I’m taking it back when I said I wasn’t killing myself. I am. I already have the date picked out. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore! Please understand that I am doing the...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 17-05-2020, 08:26 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 825
Posted By CaptainB2
I ended up sleeping most of the day. That’s...

I ended up sleeping most of the day. That’s how I got through it......
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 16-05-2020, 06:09 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 825
Posted By CaptainB2
I'm feeling extremely bad today and I really...

I'm feeling extremely bad today and I really don't even know why. I'm in a very dark place right now! I even called out of work today to take a "mental health day." That's an extremely big deal to...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 15-05-2020, 02:49 AM
Replies: 20
Views: 825
Posted By CaptainB2
Honestly, you were right in your statement of...

Honestly, you were right in your statement of that first paragraph but at the same time it is indeed unfair to bring up. I thought I made it perfectly clear I have no intention of harming or killing...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 13-05-2020, 10:42 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 825
Posted By CaptainB2
I definitely have to pretend when I’m at...

I definitely have to pretend when I’m at work and dealing with customers and that takes up most of my time these days. For the folks I do have in my life, friends if you will, I really just...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 11-05-2020, 10:47 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 825
Posted By CaptainB2
Tough to pinpoint the exact source of pain....

Tough to pinpoint the exact source of pain. It’s a number of things that it could be. Obviously, the COVID-19 stuff as mentioned, how work is extra stressful because of it and how when I do get...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 11-05-2020, 03:05 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 825
Posted By CaptainB2
I don’t really know what to say except...

I don’t really know what to say except you’re right, especially with that last sentence. I just don’t know how to deal with things in the short term, the day-to-day pain and...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 08-05-2020, 07:00 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 825
Posted By CaptainB2
You have to understand that I genuinely think...

You have to understand that I genuinely think dying is the right thing for me to do. I genuinely think I don’t belong in this world. I’m just afraid to pull the trigger myself. When I say...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 07-05-2020, 04:28 AM
Replies: 20
Views: 825
Posted By CaptainB2
Thanks for the support everyone. Now for some...

Thanks for the support everyone. Now for some updates. As for the one who’s passed away, there have been some online grieving sessions but unfortunately I feel so isolated for everyone to...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 04-05-2020, 04:18 AM
Replies: 20
Views: 825
Posted By CaptainB2
And I’ve officially lost someone to...

And I’ve officially lost someone to COVID-19!

She passed away 2 days ago. She was only 54. Not necessarily young but certainly not what most would consider elderly or “dying age”...
Forum: General Support and Advice 01-05-2020, 10:04 PM
Replies: 51
Views: 2,586
Posted By CaptainB2
And I’ve officially lost someone to...

And I’ve officially lost someone to COVID-19��.

She passed away 2 days ago. She was only 54.

I know 3 others with the disease at this time. One of them is not doing so...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 25-04-2020, 02:22 AM
Replies: 20
Views: 825
Posted By CaptainB2
This pandemic has taken so much away from me. I...

This pandemic has taken so much away from me. I already gave up on life six months ago and what little hope I had for staying alive was washed away with this disease . The latest news in my state of...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 19-01-2020, 09:45 PM
Replies: 38
Views: 3,682
Posted By CaptainB2
To whomever it may concern, I’ve gone as...

To whomever it may concern,

I’ve gone as far as I can with this thread and have decided to stop posting in it.

Good-bye
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 18-01-2020, 12:29 PM
Replies: 38
Views: 3,682
Posted By CaptainB2
I don’t know what to do and that’s...

I don’t know what to do and that’s the problem! If I did, I would just do it. I don’t even know what I want or expect from anyone else. If I did, I would just ask. That’s why...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 18-01-2020, 12:03 PM
Replies: 38
Views: 3,682
Posted By CaptainB2
I don’t know. There’s no point to any...

I don’t know. There’s no point to any of this. Sorry to have wasted so much of your time. I think it’s best if I just stop posting now.
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 17-01-2020, 11:47 PM
Replies: 38
Views: 3,682
Posted By CaptainB2
Yeah, alcohol is indeed my coping mechanism and...

Yeah, alcohol is indeed my coping mechanism and protective factor and that shows just how far gone I really am. I’m messed up beyond repair. I’m sick and will never get well. It’s...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 15-01-2020, 06:16 PM
Replies: 38
Views: 3,682
Posted By CaptainB2
Absolutely! I know it’s not healthy to do...

Absolutely! I know it’s not healthy to do so but at the same time I’m also hoping the alcohol will kill me.....either slowly from within or more quickly depending on what actions I do when inebriated.
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 15-01-2020, 05:35 PM
Replies: 38
Views: 3,682
Posted By CaptainB2
I’m NOT holding on! That’s the thing....

I’m NOT holding on! That’s the thing. The only reason I even lived through last night is because I passed out on the couch before I could do anything to myself and before I could keep drinking.
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 15-01-2020, 03:10 PM
Replies: 38
Views: 3,682
Posted By CaptainB2
Nothing has triggered this. Literally nothing is...

Nothing has triggered this. Literally nothing is different from today than how it was just a few days ago. It’s just how I’m destined to be. I don’t belong in this world. I...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 15-01-2020, 03:50 AM
Replies: 38
Views: 3,682
Posted By CaptainB2
Well, I WAS good! Now I’m not. The pattern...

Well, I WAS good! Now I’m not. The pattern once again repeats itself and again I’m right back where I started.

I’m sorry.....it’s over. Nothing is worth it anymore. Most...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 31-12-2019, 05:44 PM
Replies: 38
Views: 3,682
Posted By CaptainB2
I should probably mention that at the moment...

I should probably mention that at the moment I’m doing OK and have been doing quite alright for the past couple days. My crush/friend and I have been talking a lot. She’s been very...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 29-12-2019, 05:50 PM
Replies: 38
Views: 3,682
Posted By CaptainB2
I think you’ve done all you can. No need to...

I think you’ve done all you can. No need to waste any more of your time. Saving me was a long shot anyway. I’m just gonna do what I already planned to do and what I already have been...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 29-12-2019, 05:24 AM
Replies: 38
Views: 3,682
Posted By CaptainB2
I honestly have no idea what my options even are....

I honestly have no idea what my options even are. If I knew I wouldn’t be posting here.As best I can tell, self-destruction is my only option. It’s one of the few things I’ve ever...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 28-12-2019, 04:22 PM
Replies: 38
Views: 3,682
Posted By CaptainB2
I feel just as bad today. I messaged her. But as...

I feel just as bad today. I messaged her. But as of this writing I’ve yet to hear anything back from her. Today is a day like any other where I’ll go to work, do what I need to do and...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 382

 
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