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Forum: General Support and Advice 14-10-2019, 11:45 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 394
Posted By CaptainB2
My help is the source of my pain....

The short version: the person trying to be my shoulder to cry on and help with my recent breakdown is actually the source of my pain and I donít know how to to tell her or if I should tell.

Longer...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 14-10-2019, 05:43 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 540
Posted By CaptainB2
Well, I’m glad you have hope because like I...

Well, I’m glad you have hope because like I said, I’ve officially given up.
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 14-10-2019, 04:40 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 540
Posted By CaptainB2
I’m not feeling any better today but for...

I’m not feeling any better today but for the moment life must go on. I’m gonna go to work in a few hours then I’m gonna drink tonight until I can no longer feel the pain and am able...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 14-10-2019, 07:40 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 540
Posted By CaptainB2
Their relationship is now official. I’m...

Their relationship is now official. I’m seven shots of vodka deep and I’m about to start seeing what pills are in my medicine cabinet just to see what happens. Maybe this will all end...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 13-10-2019, 09:03 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 540
Posted By CaptainB2
Iíve Officially Given Up

I am who I am and itís time for me to stop pretending. Iím a screwup, Iím a failure, Iím a former drug addict who canít do anything right. Iím unloved but I deserve to be unloved. I just screwed up...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 12-08-2018, 12:08 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,588
Posted By CaptainB2
Thank you both for the...

Thank you both for the suggestions.

One_step_closer, I’ve sort of already done a little of what you suggested. I’ve sat down and realistically thought about how this potential...
Forum: General Support and Advice 11-08-2018, 05:18 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 888
Posted By CaptainB2
Anniversary of a death

August 11th is always a rough day for me, at least since 2014.

Lost Robin Williams 4 years ago today. To me it's more than just another "celebrity death." His death hit me hard. It wasn't so much...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 08-08-2018, 04:03 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,816
Posted By CaptainB2
Sorry for the delayed response. I was away from...

Sorry for the delayed response. I was away from RYL for a while. Thanks for the tips. I will check that book out.
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 07-08-2018, 10:29 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,588
Posted By CaptainB2
Iím Afraid of Myself

Note: This is not a suicide note or a clear plan to harm myself. I’m merely expressing a deep concern I and a feeling. I want to make sure there’s no trouble.


If you’ve followed...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 13-07-2018, 05:16 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,816
Posted By CaptainB2
To whomever it may concern, I will NOT be dying...

To whomever it may concern,

I will NOT be dying anytime soon. Getting in trouble with the mods for some of the stuff on this thread was a wake-up call that I needed to seek help outside of RYL. I...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 05-07-2018, 09:45 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,816
Posted By CaptainB2
I say 10 good reasons because I know it’s...

I say 10 good reasons because I know it’s not likely to happen. It’s me basically saying that unless a miracle occurs, I’m dead. I might as well be saying, unless I get a billion...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 05-07-2018, 06:13 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,816
Posted By CaptainB2
Last week I had one good thing to live for but...

Last week I had one good thing to live for but that is now gone. I have literally no reason not to die right now.
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 24-06-2018, 02:14 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,816
Posted By CaptainB2
I’m ready to finally succumb to the disease...

I’m ready to finally succumb to the disease I’ve been battling for 23 of my 30 years. I’m exhausted and tired of fighting. Depression is a fatal illness and I’m ready to pull...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 21-06-2018, 07:22 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,816
Posted By CaptainB2
No options that I know of and I fear that...

No options that I know of and I fear that won’t get rid of the real problem of me being a complete failure and being abandoned by everyone’s who’s ever claimed to love me.

I...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 21-06-2018, 03:35 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,816
Posted By CaptainB2
Unfortunately no. I can’t afford...

Unfortunately no. I can’t afford therapy.....or really any medical help right now. I haven’t even been to a doctor in over 3 years. Unfortunately, this is the reality I live in. Just one...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 21-06-2018, 02:44 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,816
Posted By CaptainB2
I Hate Everything

I hate myself. I hate who I am. I hate that I’ve lived for 30 years with nothing to show for it. I hate my country and what it stands for. I hate the world for what it has become. It’s a...
Forum: General Support and Advice 05-06-2018, 06:16 AM
Replies: 801
Views: 62,236
Posted By CaptainB2
Literally just waiting to die at this point.

Literally just waiting to die at this point.
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 06-03-2018, 04:47 AM
Replies: 35
Views: 3,173
Posted By CaptainB2
Well, I think the best option besides death at...

Well, I think the best option besides death at this point is to do what I can on my own to improve life.
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 06-03-2018, 03:19 AM
Replies: 35
Views: 3,173
Posted By CaptainB2
You sound upset. I didn't mean to upset you! I'm...

You sound upset. I didn't mean to upset you! I'm sorry I'm such a terrible person. I promise I'm not always like this. It's just that staring down the barrel of the strong possibility of living on...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 06-03-2018, 02:43 AM
Replies: 35
Views: 3,173
Posted By CaptainB2
Yeah.....none of that really works for me....

Yeah.....none of that really works for me. Especially when you mention HIPAA (spelled like that) violations. I've experienced that before and not gonna take that chance again. I'm also not about to...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 06-03-2018, 01:18 AM
Replies: 35
Views: 3,173
Posted By CaptainB2
As I've said before, I don't have the money to...

As I've said before, I don't have the money to see a doctor or a psychiatrist and based on my number of bad experiences, I don't believe in therapists. I both fear and hate them!
However, is there...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 02-03-2018, 04:56 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 3,173
Posted By CaptainB2
There are no definite plans at this moment. So,...

There are no definite plans at this moment. So, it may be another week. It may be another month. It may be tomorrow. I don't know.

It's only a matter of time before I'm living on the streets and...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 02-03-2018, 03:26 AM
Replies: 35
Views: 3,173
Posted By CaptainB2
The only plans I'm making right now are how I...

The only plans I'm making right now are how I want to die and when.
Also, what will happen to my dog once I'm gone....



edit: To whomever it may concern, I'm not going to die tonight. That much I...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 01-03-2018, 11:56 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 3,173
Posted By CaptainB2
Yeah, it's official. I'm going to die. I just...

Yeah, it's official. I'm going to die. I just want my family to know I love them and this isn't their fault.

I hope my dog will be well taken care of when I'm gone. I wish he could understand why I...
Forum: Serious Discussion and Advice 11-01-2018, 10:09 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 3,173
Posted By CaptainB2
I'm not good. Far from it. But, I don't plan on...

I'm not good. Far from it.
But, I don't plan on dying or feel like taking my life.
I'm safe. That is all.
Showing results 1 to 25 of 351

 
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