i want recovery but i want this too...
 

Ive been inpatient for a year, a year of recovery and im in a halfway house where im starting to gain my independence, and i want that so bad... Im just stuck tho, cos in the last few days ive lost weight and i havent felt that feeling for so so long, it really brought back so much, i havent been weak for a long time since ive been in recovery.
lately im feeling a bit weak, and the bones on my shoulders and back are starting to slightly stick out again. and although i HAte ADDICTION AND EATING DISORDERS so much, i love beginning to feel the bones again, and im getting stuck in my own head.

Pls help, i hate feeling this way, and i dont know if i want it, or dont

think of what you've worked so hard for over the last year. all that effort you have put into recovery. think of how hard it was to start recovery and get to where you are now.
would you really want to go back through all that again? you dont sound like you want your ED back at all. get the help now while there is still at least a part of you that wants it. it really is for the better.

not sure if this helped at all take care x

don't really know what to say except that i know how u feel and u r not alone.