I remember it all...
 

I had therapy yesterday, and we talked through the abuse and worked through the grey areas too, and I now know what happened.. I don't quite know how to deal with it..

it is hard talking about abuse, recalling what happened, just saying it out loud makes it feel so much more real. But you have to talk about it and address it to move forward.
Its incredbly brave talking about it evn in therapy. so well done for that sweetheart.
Did your therapist talk about how you could cope now its all been brought up.
You getting flashbacks and nightmares?

I've been in a similar situation with my psych, and I wish that I had some answers for you I really do. Like Spoons said, did your therapist give you any advice on how to deal with the emotions that you are now feeling? could you try writing a letter to your abuser? get all of those emotions out?
Sorry I'm not much help just wanted to let you know I read and I care, I hope you're ok (well you know what I mean) *safe cuddles*
you did really well talking about it I know how hard it is, but it does get easier.
take care
xx

Its good that you have someone who you can safely talk to. Make the most of therapy and ask you therapist if there are any coping strategies that she could recommend so that you know how to deal with the stuff you talk about. Sorry I wasnt much help. The best way is to keep talking and not to bottle things up.

How are you feeling now? When are you seeing your therapist next?

I am really proud of you for talking about what happened, it must have been such a struggle, but you did it & you'll get through this.

x x x

Hey, thank you so much for all your replies. The answer is, yeah, I am getting nightmares and flashbacks. My therapist asks me how I feel i can let go of the abuse - it's been buried for 18 years now. Thing is, I don't know how to, and I still feel so angry and disgusted with the 4 year old me who let this happen.

Check out the latest research on repressed memories

How can you be responsible at 4 years old?
You can let this go, with your therapists help.
Maybe ask her for some coping techniques to help you get through the flashbacks etc?
x x x