Idk why
 

But part of me wants to SI. But part of me wants to get to ten years free. I actually want to see blood; to feel the pain


Idk why I feel this way. It's come out of the blue. I so thought I was over this. Maybe I will never be free.

It might not always be easy and the urges may never go away entirely but you’ve done SO well already! The part of you that wants to make it to 10 years free is most definitely the stronger side of you. The urges will pass.

Thanks nonperson. Already they are much better than when I last posted.

Glad to hear that. =)

Stay strong and keep posting if you need to.

Thanks. Hopefully I will be ok.

I'm absolutely sure you will be. =)

You put up such a fight Dawn, you can definitely keep going. I'm here if you need to talk at any time.

Thanks Lindsay.

I am wondering if it's down to my hormones as I am on that time of the month. I have yet to harm myself however. I have my nurse coming on Wednesday so I will definitely mention it to her.

You have done extremely well to get this far :-) . The way that you want to reach 10 years, shows that you are strong. Maybe, at the end of each day you could cross off each day on the calendar which could help you in showing you visually that there are only this many days till you reach 10 years. If you ever want to talk, I'm here for you.