Don't really think I deserve the help...
 

I don't feel like I deserve the help.

I never come on here anymore.



I've done nothing but want to hurt myself for the past two months. If it wasn't for my boyfriend being out of work and being here, I don't think I'd be here.






But, I can't leave. My boyfriend suffers with depression, he has done since he was 14, since he's lost his job, he's been closer to rock bottom than before I met him. If I go and do something as stupid as kill myself; I'll kill him.

And I don't want to do that. I don't want to hurt him.





I just, I don't know what to do anymore.

Has something happened to make you start wanting to hurt yourself again? Is there anyone in real life that you can talk to and get support from? Also, you deserve help just as much as anyone else and you can always send me a PM if you ever need someone to talk to. Take care and stay safe :)

Honestly? I have no idea.

I don't think that I've ever felt 'better'. Just, not as screwed up as I have been.

Although, I moved from a little town to a big city five months ago, to live with my boyfriend, and I'm still not used to it -I have problems with generally socalizing, with anyone that I don't know- so that's put me back. I wont leave the house anymore either. I'm petrified that if I do, I wont come back.

'Cause my mum, and every other family member is back in this small little town, I never see them as much either -which, if I'm being honest, is both a blessing and a curse- so I don't know.

I just hate feeling this way.

Thank you darling, I'll be sure to do that :) xx

I love you gorgeous lady. I have no words at the minute (I will return when I do) but you know where I am if you need to talk. <3

I love you too my wonderful lady.

Thank you *hugs* xx

I got upset over the washing machine leaking.

Like, to the point I walked out. I'm a fucking idiot.

You know, we all get upset sometimes, often about thinks that we don't think deserve it. It's a part of being human, and you're not an idiot.

How are you feeling now? What did your boyfriend say?

Do you think your problems are caused by you being in the big city, alone except for your partner, or would they be the same if you were back home?

I could write a lot but I would say just check the link in my profile about emotions fixating a person to a morbid state and how to get free without struggle