'Rant' lost
 

im on thin ice at the moment, i dont want to relapse but im so scared about school and whats going to happen, i cant deal with the stares, why did school have to tell them?

i have to hide where i used to be free the scars feel like they're burning wanting to be free so soeone can help.

i want to let people in i dont want to be alone but i cant hurt them and if they leave i wont recover again,

i lost the person i was getting better for. i tried so hard i didnt want to disappoint but she didnt realsie how much she helped and she is gone now.

the stupid housemistress will always be watching me making sure im going to meals but this time no one will cover when im not going

i want to start again and make sure they dont find out. i want my parents to feel proud of me and my mum to love me

i hate being a failure. im scared i'll fail because right now things are getting better but i can feel the ice cracking and there is no one standing next to me ready to grab me when i fall

im just not worth it anymore x

You are worth it.

I'm sorry you feel like you don't have anyone right now. I understand not wanting to let people in.
But it's a balancing act. You have to let people in so you can have people to catch you as the ice cracks.
I don't really know what to say to make it better, but I support you and I hope you can open up to someone, anyone, so they can help you.
If you just need to talk, or anything, PM me.

You aren't a failure.

thanks i know i have to and i want to but there is something in the way. . .a wall that i cant let go of. and u have helped and i might have to take up you offer of the pm :) thanks again x