Kind of in a bad place (*sui trig to*) Update...
 

I don't know what i'm doing...i don't know what to do...
I've been cutting pretty much everyday for the last about 3 weeks. Last night was the worst yet.....but now today i have ben thingking about ways to kill myself. Not that i want to, but I just can't control my thinking. I've tried to reach out to the two people who know what is going on with me, but one is too busy, and the other one won't respond. i know he must be busy, but it just makes me feel horrible. Maybe i'm not worth helping....There's not reason for me to want to die. i just started a new job. some things in my life finally seem like they are coming together, but i just can't deal with this!!! i just want to cut and bleed!!!!

guess i'm not worth helping.....

You are worth helping. You deserve to feel better.
These boards can get slow sometimes, and you might have to wait for a response. It doesn't mean that no one cares, it just means that time zones can be a bitch.

Do you know why you've been thinking so much about suicide? Did something happen to trigger it? Of course, it's okay if there wasn't anything, but if there was, and you could recognize it, it would be a start.

Do you keep a journal? If not, maybe you should start. You could get out all of your worst, darkest thoughts in a reasonably safe manner.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time and I truly hope that things get better for you. If you want to talk, you can always PM me.

Never think that you aren't worth helping. Never. You are worth helping.

Try and talk it out. Talk to us, if you want. Try and figure out why you feel this way.

*hugs* Hope we can help.

yes...i don't think i'm worth it.....
i thought i might know what was making things like this, but it's long and complicated...
but i really don't understand why it would cause this...
i just don't care...i can't get it out of my mind....

no no no you ARE worth helping!!
its just sometimes this board can be a little slow moving i find!!
if ever you feel you need somebody to talk to and are worried posting may not be a fast enough method you can also PM me i am always willing to help
never believe your not worth help because you and everybody is here truely is!!!

and also im sorry your friends were too busy - i guess its just the way life ais sometime - cant get hold of those we need :(

yeah...and i still can't get a hold of them...or they are ignoring me, i don't blame them though...

HUGS
that kinda sucks

Hun, you are worth helping, you are!
*hugs*
Is there anyone else you could talk to about how bad things are right now? Maybe get some professinal help? That's the only thing I can suggest, sweetie. Please stay safe. xo.

i don't really have anyone else at the moment...can't see a therapist or anything because i don't have insurance at the moment.....
i just wish one of them would call me back......
i just don't know what to do....i don't want to feel like this

im so sorry your in a bad place right now *hug*
im sure if your friends knew the severity of what was going on right now they would try to help more.
YOU ARE WORTH HELPING. SOO worth it. you seem like a lovely person, try not to be so hard on yourself *hug*
could you maybe try calling a helpline? they are trained and they are free and i have heard good things. even just talking to keep yourself safe.
we are all here for you
xo

i'm not a lovely person....i'm just a pain....i'm sorry i'm bothering everybody....

Don't apologise to us.

You're not bothering anybody. And you're not just a pain. Wait, I mean, you're not a pain at all. o.0

Anyway. You are totally worth helping. Don't ever think that you're not.

you are not bothering us at all
we want you to be ok *hug*
hope your feeling a bit better

I don't know if i'm really feeling better. the people who know are really concerned...I don't know what's going to happen....I'm kind of scared....

do you want to talk about whats scaring you?
we are all here for you
please try and keep yourself safe!!
xo

Someone made a wellness call about me today....the cops are on their way here right now.....what am I going to tell them??? I don't want to die but if i have to tell them about the cutting are they going to take me away???? I am so f'ing scared i don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*hug* *hug* its ok, i promise.
i think you should tell them the truth, but if your not suicidal let them know that too.
they will be able to make sure your ok. they may suggest some outpatient care for you, or take you to the crisis area at the hospital, they have a psychiatrist on call, they might talk to you and the two of you can come up with a plan of action to take on your mental health.
i really hope your ok
xo

I'm trying to get into see a counselor but i never seems to be in. I don't want to go to the hospital, it will only make things worse....I dont' want to die.....i really don't...i just don't know what's going to happen....

I have been really struggling this week. The cops were an interesting situation...it's a good thing I wasn't planning on doing anything at the time because it took them an hour to get here...it would have been too late. I have scared the people who seem to care about me most. I even made one of them cry....I didn't want to make him cry....
They are working on getting me into see a therapist....he said that if i didn't he was going to have to threat assess me....that scares me even more.....
sorry i'm just rambling...a lot of things going on a t the moment.