Baby Loss Support Thread
 

I know there was talk of making a thread like this a while ago, but I don't think it got made - if it did, i couldn't find it, so I'm sorry if one did get made.

I know from personal experience that losing a baby or child is one of the hardest thing's anyone will have to go - & I know too well the feelings that come after it, the grief, the anger, the hurt - the emotional torture.

I also know that physically it can be one of the hardest things to go through aswell.

So I thought I'd make a support thread for those who have been through the loss of a child or baby, at whatever stage in life.

I hope It will help you find someone who understands, and will help everyone involved in the thread.

Louise x

As you know laughingdoll, we talked in chat last night I have recently miscarried prior to this loosing two babies. I managed to tell my partner struggling to say much about this now but once I have healed I will try and give support. I am sorry to everyone who has lost a baby I know it will get better in time.

Sorry Minty, this thread is for you to seek support as well, so don't feel you have to give support, just to recieve it.

*HUGS* how did your partner react? Are you undergoing tests to find out why you are miscarrying so much?

I'm still undergoing tests to find out, but they suspect it's PCOS and other things, but nothings confirmed.

Hope your doing as OK as can be expected. xx

I think this is a really really good idea for a thread.

I had a miscarriage at christmas after being attacked and am still finding it really hard dealing with it. I wasn't very far along in the pregnancy but it was such a shock because it was two days after my first scan, where I'd been told that it was in perfect health. I still think about her/ him every day

Hi Bobbiwib,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I've never had a scan before I lost so I can't begin to imagine what you must be going through. Have you got anyone around you to support you, with grieving for your baby?

*Offers cuddles* I know this isn't a very long/helpful reply, but my minds a bit mush tonight. I just want you to know whatever your feeling is normal, & you are not alone.

No matter how far along in a pregnancy you are, the loss is traumatic because from the moment you find out your pregnant, you begin to form a bond with the baby inside you, and for you it must have been an especially big shock, as you'd not long since been told everything was fine.

Have you been offered any counselling for your loss? It may help you to 'deal' with your loss, although I don't ever think we can truely, get over a loss of a child, the pain will ease in time.

I'm always here, if you ever need to talk.

Take Care,
Louise xx

Sorry didn't see the reply, my partner was ok but really upset supportive though. I have PCOS and did have a tear in my womb its healing now but another miscarriage will put down the healing time.

Bobbiwib you should look into seeing if you can get some counselling as it can be helpful, I have only lost my children early on and the first one I didn't even know I was pregnant until I lost her/him and it still hurts. laughingfoll is right in that you form a bond from the start.

One thing I found a bit helpful is to hold memorials, I got together a poem a little teddy bear some flowers and buried them. I was terrified that I would forget that it happened or others would and I found this helped to show that I was thinking of them and it was somewhere I could go to remember them. Sounds daft I know.

thanks louise :) you too!

i think memorials are a very good idea, minty. i have a folder with a couple of important things from that time, a couple of poems and drawings I did when I thought I was pregnant, it makes me think more about how happy I was then then how sad I was afterwards.

I suppose I'm lucky that there was no long term damage and so I shouldn't have problems with babies in the future. what's PCOS, if you don't mind me asking?
xxxxxxbobbie

hugs
the only comfort i can give is that your babies will be in a better place
They are in heaven now and being looked after
xx

PCOS= polycystic ovaries it's quite a common thing in women and can affect fertility but not always I have known lots of people who have it and have had children so not all bad.

I think this is a great idea for a thread.

I've had several miscariages over the years... I have a thread in here about the 2 that I found/find it hardest to deal with... but since then I have had 2 more with my current parnter, but both were very early on in pregnancy, in fact both were before I knew I was pregnant... The 2 babies I lost before that though I knew I was pregnant with and I still very much blame myself and feel a falure over it...

*hugs* Hazel, you know what I think about what happened. Not your fault at all!

In a month, it will have been a year since I was pregnant, if that makes sense. It feels so strange to think about it. I was so shocked when I looked it up and realised my baby would have been born long ago.
I'm dreading the 22nd of October, first heartbeat, and the 16th of December, the scan.. not as much as the 18th though.... :crying:

sorry for the mini-rant... how is everybody doing?

Hi Shadow-light. I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. *cuddles* No loss is ever your fault. Have you had any counselling for your losses?

Hi Bobbie, how're you feeling tonight? I can understand the strangness, and also the dread, sweetie. Maybe you could light a candle for your baby on his/her anniversary? We're always here for you to talk to, and will support you in whatever way we can. Your not going to be going through this alone sweetie.
You never need to apologise for the mini rant - That's what this thread is here for, amongst other things.

I'm sorry I've not been around for a while - I've not felt up to being able to offer anyone support, after going through another loss a week ago, from the wednesday just gone, then to find out I had got an infection because of it. It's not been a couple of weeks, and my moods have been a little all over the place.

I've got to go to the EPAU next week - Am dreading it. :( Sorry I haven't got anything really positive to say, just struggling alot myself at the moment. xxxx

oh sweetheart I'm sorry to hear that *hugs*

I dont think there's anything I could possibly to say to help you get through this but you know that you can :) you've done it before. Any time you want to talk or vent or anything, I'll listen.

Hope everyone's doing okay

xxxx

anniversaries are awful things... I like the candle idea though



I'm sorry that ypu've had to go through this again, it's fine if you're not feeling up to offering support, really no need to appologise.

I had a Etopic Pregnancy almost three years ago and the baby's birthday had I carried to term is fast approaching. I can't talk to my family as they have pretty brushed it under the carpet it is described as when I got "ill" and my sister is 7 months pregnant.

I light candles for the baby quite alot and I never told it's dad what happened it was a casual thing and I didn't see the point in hurting him when there was nothing to be done.

I just feel so alone with this at the moment.

I'm sorry you feeling alone Gotham girl, i'm here if you want to talk *hugs*

I would of been a mum by now, i should be a mum now but i had a misscarriage on the 2 of jan. I blame myself for it happening i feel it was my fault and i can't get the feeling to stop.

*cuddles to you all* I can understand your pain.
I should be a mum to a 2 year old. I have had 2 miscarriages and the latest a few weeks ago.
I had names, ideas, everything.
I can't remember the exact date, which at the same time is probably good, I have about 4 weeks where I remember her. I decided it was a her. I just had hints in my body. I'll never know though =/ I would have called her Madison Rose.
Daniella, if you wanna chat hun, let me know :)
xx

I thought my baby was a girl too, I call her Poppy when I think about her.

I'm not really sure what words to give right now. But i've had 3 miscarriages myself, the most recent a missed miscarriage in August. Found out at my dating scan at 11 1/2 weeks that the baby died at 9 weeks.
I'm not really sure what to say to be honest. i have made a video on youtube in memory of out angel and that can be found if you search : For our angel xxx

pictures of the baby in there, which you may find triggering? so please be careful.
Please keep your chins up. Things get easier, you may never forget, but they get easier! xxx

I became pregnant after abuse and I kept my daughter.
I did not want her to suffer for the terrible things her father did.
Being young, my parents supported me, not knowing the full story.
I carried her full term, gave birth as normal; held and fed Lila for the first time.
She was so beautiful, so small. I didn't think I could love anything so much.
I was in my hospital bed holding her as she slept.
She was less than a day old.
I kissed her forehead.
I felt the life slip out of her.
I felt her stop breathing.
I called for help, the doctors could do nothing.
They still don't know what happened to her.
I can't help but feeling somehow responsible, if I hadn't done this or that, I would still have her.
But I don't.
I went to counseling, but unfortunately, it had re-triggered my self harm habits, which made the situation so much worse

Sorry to be such a rant. I haven't had the courage to speak about it to anyone, my now boyfriend doesn't even know

Much Love. Be Safe
emily