dont know where to turn
 

hi, I have never used a forum before but I am feeling kind of lost.
for 7 years I have been battling anorexia. On my last low point I carved the word fat into my arm as I felt disgusting. I was then prescribed anti depressants as I couldn't see a way forward.
now people think I am ok because I have put on weight and decided to come off my anti depressants (unaware that its because I was scared they were making me put on weight). now I have constant urges to hurt myself because I believe I deserve it. I know it is wrong but I just hate the way I am.

hi!
you don't deserve to be hurt :( maybe you can talk to your Dr? maybe they can give you another antidepressant?
You really deserve to feel ok! it's ok to feel good! you deserve to feel good! you deserve to be happy! don't let your brain tell you you don't. it's been telling you lies for years! you don't deserve the pain!!! and please don't hate yourself, it's ok to feel the way you do!