The man is real. He is stalking me.

I am taking meds. And it's nothing to do with that anyway.

Does he have physical form?

I was just wondering if that might be playing any part in it. Sorry if I sounded rude or anything, Lillie. I'm glad you're taking your meds still.

Has anyone else other than you seen or heard him?

My point is that if other people have seen or heard him, then you could go to the police with that person as you have evidence. Or do you have photographs or voice recordings of him? You could also use those as evidence. The police cannot do anything without evidence, I ran into that when one of my exes was stalking me. I had to provide documentation of the behavior from emails, texts, photographs, and from observations of friends and coworkers. Just my own word unfortunately wasn't enough.

He does have a physical form. He comes mostly at night. I can sometimes hear Him but not see Him in the day. He beings the Watchmen and wears the Shadows but He IS REAL.

Bertie hisses Him. I protect others from seeing Him but Bertie wants to protect me.

Could you take photos and document the times when he comes? Record his messages? That way you would have evidence to show police.

I'm wondering what 'real' means to you? Since what other people might consider to be real can't wear shadows to hide themselves. Have you asked the man why he is around, since you feel like he's stalking you?

I hope the CMHT get back to you soon and can offer you some decent support.

I'm glad Bertie is protecting you. <3

Real as yourself.

A friend called crisis who said they would help me yesterday but I haven't heard anything.

I'm at work and it's very hard to concentrate. I keep looking for the Man as I'm working a long way from where I live and I don't know if He followed.

He doesn't speak like a conversation. He won't answer my questions.

I'm glad your friend is looking out for you. Would you feel comfortable phoning crisis yourself?

Why is it important to look out for the man? It would be good if you could get a bit of peace and distraction at work, even though work isn't the most exciting thing.

Ive decided not to actively ask for help anymore.

I need to know if the Man is coming to put the patients at risk.

I'm so pleased you've got a friend there looking out for you when services and family are being less helpful. Keep holding on Lillie. Things get better than this <3

Oh, out-ninja'd. What's made you decide not to actively ask for help anymore?

Do you want to talk more about your concerns of the man putting patients at risk- like how would he endanger them, has he been able to hurt people people?

My friend is in reading.

Because I've asked 2 hospitals, an ambulance, the police a minor injuries and a MH team for help and got nothing.
Also have heard nothing from the crisis team who my friend rang. I'm not holding any hope for that.
Probably more people ive asked for help in the past 2 weeks than in the past 2 years.

You're still waiting to hear from the CMHT though, I'd hope that they would offer you something. Can you phone them if you need the decision to be made more quickly?

I can't keep living like this.

I can hear your struggle and I'm sorry things continue to be so difficult. How are you today? Have you heard anything from the CMHT yet?

I'm not good right now.
I rang the cmht. Was told someone would call me back. Was told the same yesterday. No one has.
So that's no help from them with the Man. Literally no one cares.

What do you say when you phone the CMHT? They obviously aren't hearing you. What do you think they could do to help with the man? Have you directly asked for help using the word help?

That I'm returning their call.

I think you should say that you need help, use those words and be honest about how things are. Even to the receptionist. Do you think you could do that?

^I agree, though I appreciate that that's asking a lot as I can't imagine how disheartening it must feel to have to fight so hard for basic support.

Have you looked into any charity-based mental health support in your new area? I know there was nothing useful where you used to live, but maybe there's something where you are now.

I said I needed help at the assessment. I told them about the Man. A friend rang crisis and they said they would get me help and they haven't.

I self referred for counselling and did an assessment a few weeks ago and they wouldn't take me on.

Alice is scared and she can't find her penguin. The man has been very threatening tonight. He rattled the door handle. Nomlly He just watches. Bertie hissed a lot. So I hid in the cupboard under the stairs and then I self harmed to protect us. No point calling the police. They won't come. The ambulance said that the other day.

Why does no one care enough to help keep me safe? Bertie Alice and I are in bed now. We hope the Man will be content that I absorbed enough Evil with the self harm.

I hope somebody is around now.

There's no local charities.

I think I'm a bit confused. If as you've said the man is real and you are being stalked, why are you seeking mental health support to make the man go away?

I hope if you need medical attention for the self harm you can get it.

Because I hope they will tell the police He is real. And help me get help from the police because the police don't believe me.

I'm confused to. People keep saying He isn't real and I need mh help.

If he was 'real' in that sense the police would know because they would be able to see him and see evidence of him so the MH team wouldn't have to clarify it.

It's hard to be so confused and distressed. How have you been so far today? Have you heard from the CMHT? Sorry I keep asking that.

The cmht called. Said I need a second assessment. Won't help me cope until then. Said He is just because I'm distressed. And if He was real the police would help. She said I just need to learn to cope. And if I really can't keep myself safe to go to a and e.

I'm going to a and e. This is all making me suicidal. And if I do it in a and e then someone will look after Alice. She's so upet and I don't have her penguin. I will ask for help. If they don't listen then I've got someone to look after Alice and Bertie.

Are you in A&E now? I think that distress has a lot to do with what's going on but it's not helpful to tell you that you have to learn to cope but then not give you ideas on coping strategies or support to do that.

I'm in a and e. Triaged nurse was nice. Medical dr was abrupt. Waiting for crisis team. Alice is crying again.

Did they say how long the crisis team would be? What do you hope to get from them?

Who is Alice?

Sorry for all the questions.

Alice is little. She likes penguins and tea.

I saw the crisis team. I'm on the way back to my house now.

What did the crisis team say? Well done for getting yourself to A and E.

How long has Alice been around?

Crisis team asked a lot of questions. Said they won't help with the police but want to help me. Said I'm seeing things because I'm stressed. Said Alice isn't real. That made her very sad because she was sitting right there! Wanted to know about my meds. They want to speak to the consultant tomorrow. And are coming to see me at half 6 at the house.

Alice had been around for a few weeks now I think. It hard to keep track.

That sounds positive that they are trying to support you. How did it go when they came this evening? How are you feeling? Do you think you’re stressed at the moment? Hopefully they will talk to the Mh team and that will add to the need for support for you. Do you think medication helps?

They're coming to see me tomorrow.

I am stressed. But foe good reason. I'm being stalked and flowed around by a 6 year old for one.

I'm really tired.

I wanted somewhere safe from the Man to stay.

Well done for going to a&e. I hope they are helpful today x

If Alice was human real then people wouldn't ignore a 6 year old following you around. I do think a lot of this is to do with stress and distress, and you do have good reasons to be stressed and distressed. Why do you think you're not safe from the man? He doesn't seem to have been a physical threat to you directly? Where would you consider a safe place to be, hospital? I hope the crisis team can help you today.

I burnt. Alice says it's bad. And so does my friend. I had to because I told mum about the Man. Friend says I have to tell crisis or she will call 999. I really tried to stay safe.

I hope you do manage to tell crisis. They can only help you if they know everything that is going on.

I told them and they have driven me to a and e. It's really really busy here though. Alice is having to sit on the floor.

Well done for telling them, lovely. I know a busy A&E is a difficult place to be but it’s definitely for the best.

I hope both your mental health and the burn get the treatment they need in A and E and that the staff are kind. Thinking of you.

I hope you're doing ok. Sending love.

How did it go at a&e?

Been in a and e 20 hours. Been sectioned.

I hope being sectioned means you get the help you need. We'll still be here for you too.

I too hope being sectioned means you'll get the help you so deserve sweetie. We're all here for you.
x

I really hope you get the help you deserve Lillie
Thinking of you

Alice is scared. We are tired. Been in a and e 25 hours.