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Katch 17-05-2008 01:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reason[TO]Believe (Post 767093)
Ok...quickly before I go sleepy...

You should feel specail....until you see it:blink:

hey I remember that photo from when I first joined - and I can officially tell you now - you are beautiful - there's no if's or buts about it. Thank you

Detour. Derail 17-05-2008 01:15 AM

I changered it.
Save your eyyyyeeesss.
And now....I sleep.
Night guys.
Take care of yourselves.
I love you all so much
*hugs all round*

Detour. Derail 17-05-2008 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katch (Post 767101)
hey I remember that photo from when I first joined - and I can officially tell you now - you are beautiful - there's no if's or buts about it. Thank you

Offt :/
*tries to believe you*
*fails*
sorry :(

Katch 17-05-2008 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bound by Thoughts (Post 767092)
Yes release... I need release... I NEED TO SH... to make myself feel

You know that's not what I meant!!!!! and we al know it only makes you feel good for a very short while - and then you feel worse for having done it again. Don't do that - or I will have to blame myslef for using the word release. I've been away for 3 days as I didn't have the confidence to say the right things on here - so I really need you to decide not to hurt yourslef - especially over a word I used.
Loads of hugs to you though x x x x

Katch 17-05-2008 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reason[TO]Believe (Post 767106)
Offt :/
*tries to believe you*
*fails*
sorry :(

No worries Alex - I know it's really hard to have people complimenet you - but I honestly mean what I say. I just wish you could beleive it too - maybe one day.
Idea: I alwasy thought I was really fat as a kid - now I look back at photos and see how slim I was (I'm fat now!) did you alwasy think you were ugly - if so find some old photos and try and imagine a kid looking just like that asking you what you thought they looked like - I bet you will think they were pretty.

BoundNoMore 17-05-2008 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katch (Post 767111)
or I will have to blame myslef for using the word release. I've been away for 3 days as I didn't have the confidence to say the right things on here - so I really need you to decide not to hurt yourslef - especially over a word I used.

it's not your fault...it's my own f***in screwed up mind's fault.

Katch 17-05-2008 01:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bound by Thoughts (Post 767119)
it's not your fault...it's my own f***in screwed up mind's fault.

I got one of those minds too - but you have to try

BoundNoMore 17-05-2008 01:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katch (Post 767122)
I got one of those minds too - but you have to try

I am trying... and failing miserably :(

What is that animal (or whatever it is) in your signature? I like it. It's cute.

Katch 17-05-2008 01:27 AM

I have to go now - but I will be back tomorrow - feel free to pm me if you want to. I've had 2 nights of sleeping in a car and I am struggling to keep me eyes open right now - I bet I get to bed and sleep doesn't come - but I'm going to try. Night everyone - take care x x x x

Katch 17-05-2008 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bound by Thoughts (Post 767125)
I am trying... and failing miserably :(

What is that animal (or whatever it is) in your signature? I like it. It's cute.

It's a 3 toed Sloth - and they really are cute and so cuddly - I went to a sloth sanctuary a few months ago (unfortunatly I couldn't fit one in my bafg to bring home.

I absolutly love animals - they are the one thing that love you no mater what - they never angry with you - and they never break you trust.

~*forever_broken*~ 17-05-2008 01:47 AM

*hugs Katch and Amanda*
Night Katch.
Amanda, I've woke up like that too sometimes and it sucks. Hang in there hun *snuggles*

I think I've quit drinking. Drank six in an hour and then was sick... Have three more but...

MammaMia 17-05-2008 01:58 AM

Ugh.

Guess who's got a very bad headache. Stabbing & sharp pains in my head. Not nice :(

~*forever_broken*~ 17-05-2008 02:03 AM

*snuggles Helen* I did too. Alcohol helps. And water. Water is good (that came before the alcohol, because of the headach). Shouldn't you be asleep?
______________
I swear my cat knows when I'm going to cut. I start going through my 'kit' (includes first aid stuff as well as my harming stuff), cleaning it out so I can find stuff easier... And I hear 'thumpthumpthumpthumpthump' as down the stairs he comes... Lol weird.

effervescence 17-05-2008 03:01 AM

aww ally, tis cos he loves u :)

sorry u hav a headache helen. that exam reminds me of when i did art and had 10hr exams....are u allowed to eat and talk during it? that makes it much better.

hi amanda and katch.

i am struggling a bit today.
just depressed for no reason.

argh.

~*forever_broken*~ 17-05-2008 03:12 AM

Cloe hunni, you've got a good reason... We in the field of psychology like to call it 'depression' lol ;-) sorry you probably don't want any teasing atm *snuggles* I'm sorry you're struggling luv, I hope it gets better.
-----------------------
Arggg, I can't even cut right any more! I found some nerves on the one on my wrist... G*d it hurt like hell and still aches... But I can still use my hand so it's all good. And the other one didn't bleed like I wanted it to:-( I know, sick, right? *shrug*

effervescence 17-05-2008 03:19 AM

we in the field of psychology huh?! haha.
well in my esteemed opinion, depression sucks.

please be careful around nerves hun.

~*forever_broken*~ 17-05-2008 03:32 AM

*thwap**swats Cloe with a pillow then pounces on her and gives her a hug*

Yes, 'we' :-D I'm going (hopefully) to have a BA in psychology in a few weeks. As for your esteemed opinion :-D I totally agree, it bites, big time *snuggles* I'm sorry you're having such a time of it hun.

As for nerves, thanks, I stopped shortly (though not immediately:pinch) after I felt the first twinge.

*sigh* I'm going home for Powwow tomorrow and since I'm only going to be gone about a day and a half I'm not taking my cat (he hates to travel). And I'm already a bit down thinking about not having him. Silly Ally.

BoundNoMore 17-05-2008 05:38 AM

*sits in corner-rocking* oh god oh god... oh god... this cant be happening!!!!!

~*forever_broken*~ 17-05-2008 05:41 AM

What's happening Amanda?

BoundNoMore 17-05-2008 05:46 AM

I just purged... and saw blood!!!!!!!!!

~*forever_broken*~ 17-05-2008 05:50 AM

Alright sweetie, calm down. Is this a new habit (purging) or have you been doing it a while? And are you sure it's blood? I recently had a similar scare myself.

BoundNoMore 17-05-2008 05:52 AM

I don't do it often... maybe once every few weeks

~*forever_broken*~ 17-05-2008 05:54 AM

Hmmm. I'm thinking it's probably not connected but you should probably talk to a professional (instead of a 24 year old psych major ;-)) if you're worried *hugs*

BoundNoMore 17-05-2008 05:56 AM

I sure hope its not connected

~*forever_broken*~ 17-05-2008 06:05 AM

I do too. But like I said, it might not have even been blood... I hope you talk to someone about it though. *hugs*

I've got to go to bed... Have a 3 1/2 hour drive tomorrow morning... Woo-hoo...

Take care hun

effervescence 17-05-2008 06:21 AM

hey amanda,

blood often does happen with purging, unfortunately, along with a host of other nasty things as well if u do it frequently and continuously.

how much blood was it? like, a little spot, or several drops? if it was a few drops i would go to a doctor to check you don't have a little tear in your throat or anything, and if it happens again DEFINITELY go to the doctor. better to be safe than sorry.

- wasn't meant to worry you too much hun :) just in a tell-it-like-it-is mood i guess.

night night ally. be good ;)

PropheticStar 17-05-2008 08:11 AM

*peeps in*

Jetforce 17-05-2008 08:59 AM

welcome in erin!!!!

zowie 17-05-2008 09:47 AM

Hi everyone. Hope you're all doing okay this morning.
The crisis team stayed with me for a while last night and made me take my meds so that I'd fall asleep. I slept awfully, and I still feel exactly the same as I did last night. I'm really scared that I'm going to stab someone today. Seriously, the urge is way too strong.
The crisis team are coming over in ten minutes and I'm not going to work today. Wish me luck? x

Katch 17-05-2008 09:54 AM

I wish you all the luck in the world - but I also wish you strength to get you through this - you have to be strong right now Zowie and fight any urges you have - you should also tell the people that arrive just how bad the urges are - if they can understand you completely they will be in a better position to help you - don't hide from them.
Hugging you tight, xxx

effervescence 17-05-2008 10:18 AM

good luck zowie!
please just carry on being strong and dont let beth take charge cos YOU can be in charge hunny!
hope u have an ok day.
i suggest eating chocolate and watching funny movies

MammaMia 17-05-2008 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by effervescence (Post 767206)
sorry u hav a headache helen. that exam reminds me of when i did art and had 10hr exams....are u allowed to eat and talk during it? that makes it much better.

My headache is gone and I frigging girl pains *whistles* instead >.< Men really don't know they're born :blink: Anyway....well when we're in the exam room we can't eat. Um like we do two sessions of two hours a day (kinda drives you crazy if you're tired) and in that you can't talk, listen to music, eat or drink =( Probs cus it's at a computer and like you could put your mp3 or whatever onto it and use files on there to cheat. Meh. Hopefully the exams I'll have at uni might be better =D I need painkillers and don't have any >.< Well the last one that was there I threw away....cus it brought memories back!! Guh. Silly Helen :pinch:

Katch 17-05-2008 11:41 AM

Hells - I am so glad I am past exams - I hated them and couldn't cope at all - 20 hours sounds a nightmare even if it is split up in 2 hour sessions - it sounds impossible to me - good luck to you - and think how good you will feel when it's done with. What do you want to do work wise - eventually?
Sorry about your pains - have you got a hot water bottle - that sometimes helps a bit - then curl up into a ball and chill as much as you can. Hope you feel a bit better soon.

~*forever_broken*~ 17-05-2008 03:14 PM

Damn time difference:-( Zowie I hope it all went well for you sweetie. Please stay safe luv, let them help you *snuggles*

Helen, I think throwing away the pain meds was a good idea. It sucks not to have them now *massive hugs* but it was probably the right decision for you at the time.

I'm off to finish gathering my things for the weekend and then setting out. I'm not all that crazy about going home but Powwow will be fun and I do like the drive... Just me and my music for 3 1/2 hours...

Take care all

Sugar and Spice 17-05-2008 03:59 PM

*waves to Erin and offers hugs and drinks around to everyone*

Zowie, I hope that things went alright with the crisis team today and that you were honest about how bad things are for you. I am glad that you were safe last night and that they were there with you. How are you doing?

Helen, am glad that your headache has subsided. The hot water bottle suggestion does help. Getting rid of those pain killers was for the best at the time, maybe get a small packet to help with this bout of period pain?

Ally, I hope you have a nice journey and enjoy Powwow. (What exactly is Powwow btw? lol)

How is everyone today?

MammaMia 17-05-2008 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katch (Post 767596)
Hells - I am so glad I am past exams - I hated them and couldn't cope at all - 20 hours sounds a nightmare even if it is split up in 2 hour sessions - it sounds impossible to me - good luck to you - and think how good you will feel when it's done with. What do you want to do work wise - eventually?
Sorry about your pains - have you got a hot water bottle - that sometimes helps a bit - then curl up into a ball and chill as much as you can. Hope you feel a bit better soon.

I can't wait to be past exams either :) Oh well another 3 more years of them and won't have any in 2011 because I'll be on a year's placement :D It really is a nightmare. Last year...well when we was in yr12, the exam was 15 hours...3 a day and that was great for me...I only did 9 & half hours cus of several reasons lol. I will feel HYPER when it's done...I always go hyper hehe! Eventually I want to work in the area of Psychology now (Y) maybe with some IT thrown into it. Because I'm hoping to graduate in IT with Applied & Social Psychology :hop: You know what makes me laugh about this peroid...I knew it was coming real soon and when I went out shopping yday I nearly brought some heat patches for this one...and decided I couldnt be aresed to queue (I had heavy bags by this time) and didn't get any. Should have stayed dammit >.< But my pain has been tolerable today thankfully :) At times it really sucks...but generally been at a tolerable level.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~*forever_lost*~ (Post 768042)
Helen, I think throwing away the pain meds was a good idea. It sucks not to have them now *massive hugs* but it was probably the right decision for you at the time.

I think it was good, it was like the last one anyway...so no big deal. Yeah it does suck but I really cannot bring myself to take that particular pain med and esp as it doesn't have sugar coating and so yeah. The pain hurts relli bad atm but sometimes I have this pain even when the med has kicked in. Silly >.<

Carole, yeah getting rid of that packet was the best thing I could have done at the time. I don't know if we have any small packets at the shop I know that sells them, probs do tbh...I just don't trust myself to buy 16. Patheticness I know :(

Me, I've had three pieces of news today. All shocking in their own ways. 1st being my neighbourhood is becoming violent :( it that some peeps burnt a car right near the woods (thats near the meadow opposite my house) :| and then a woman was stabbed in a road that I once lived in annnnnd then we're probs taking our house off and market my room will get re-decorated
I should be happy that my house is most likely coming off the market right? I'm the one who didn't want to move. I was the one who was hell bent on living here for ten years. But then I was the one who got used the idea and started getting excited (bit more than my mum tbh) and stuff. Now I just...don't know what's wrong with me. I think it's cus I've accepted it all now and I've been so angry at my dad about it...I've spoke loads and stuff. I have throughout all this still had that part that wanted to stay here. Ah well I'm glad we're staying here. I don't anyone else living in this house (other than fam obv) yet. So I'm happy I guess...

blondiebear 17-05-2008 04:30 PM

I'm back to being lightheaded from sleep deprivation. I hung out with a friend last night talking to her. I'm not sorry I did though.

Zowie, how are you doing?

Ally, have a safe trip over the mountains. Driving hung over is not good. Yes, I do know from experience. Sometime if everyone can stand a story, i'll tell y'all about it!

Helen, can you take a hot bath or better yet, a hot shower then turn the shower head to massage? My cramps hit me in my back below my waist though. Those exams sound brutal. Is that the normal thing for university where you are? Here at worst we have one final exam for every class and it only is maximum two hours, or three hours if it is a night class.

Chloe, as you said, I do too much. It is so I don't have to think though or at least as much.

I've only been up for a couple of hours and I'm already on my third diet pepsi. My vision is swimming. I need to close up the house too, the forecast is for another 100F/38C degree day.

I think I'll go close some windows and curl up next to my hubby and maybe I can doze for a bit.

Hugs to everyone!

MammaMia 17-05-2008 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondiebear (Post 768226)
Helen, can you take a hot bath or better yet, a hot shower then turn the shower head to massage? My cramps hit me in my back below my waist though. Those exams sound brutal. Is that the normal thing for university where you are? Here at worst we have one final exam for every class and it only is maximum two hours, or three hours if it is a night class.

I guess I could take a bath. I don't take them often because I like showers instead...I kinda have a small fear of baths now :| Just cus once....I tried to do something silly in it. But I much prefer showers now anyway, have before that happened. My cramps tend to hit my back if I'm at college because the amount of walking I do, but those are ok. It hits worse around just under my stomach, which is the right area I supoose :blush: The exam feels brutual. It takes it out of me. It's like last time...I couldn't stay awake some days....but had to try and do so. Even on nights I slept well, the exam made me wanna sleep. :doze: I dunno, most exams taken here are between 1 & 2 hours to my knowledge...it's just drama exams are assessed through a preformance and written paper I think. But that I could handle lol. I don't think we're allowed. I know rules are that no exam can go on longer in one day that 3 hours I think? But I think we get away with it because we break it to two sessions a day (lasting 2 hours each) and the fact there are other colleges doing this 20hr exam. Fortnately (and unfortnately) we're the last year to do this course as they're replacing this one YET again with an exciting new course....and they're involving my old school (and others...I think?) So yeah, thank gwad I'm not re-taking the exam I had in Jan, 20 hours on that too, that would kill me completly. But I can't wait cus Mon marks our last lesson (YESSSSSS!) and then after the exam (should hopefully finish on thurs/friday) and then I won't have to do IT ever again at my college anyway >.<

I'm just writing a longish post in my thread.

dark_light 17-05-2008 08:27 PM

Helen i hope you are feeling better - i have period pains today and it sucks! So you defo have my sympathy *hugs* x

Zowie hope things are a bit better and you managed to tell the crisis team what was going on, its so hard to do but worth it so they can help you *hugs* you too hon x

I just want to curl up and sleep forever but feel so panicky and can't settle.

MammaMia 17-05-2008 08:42 PM

*snuggles Jo* Peroid pains are not needed!!!! WHY? Why do we have to have pains aswell? Obviously the fact we have to have them is not enough...

*hugs both Emmas, Jo, Zowie, Alex, Susan, Chloe, Carole, Ally, Katch, Jermery and anyone else I've forgotten*

Katch 17-05-2008 08:55 PM

Hi everyone - hugs to you all.
Scared of saying this but I am feeling Ok and fairly positive at the moment. I'm scared of saying it because everytime I feel better the knock down after it comes twice as hard. Also I think if I don't come on here and say Help - then people might think I don't need chatting to as I am not asking for advice - but just to clear that up I do - I really want to stay feeling like this and know that if I did I would be a lot more help to others, So if you feel like saying Hi, sending a hug or chatting I'd love it. I'm here for you all too. xxx

blondiebear 17-05-2008 09:02 PM

Hi Katch, I won't be here long, am just checking in on everyone and especially looking for an update on my 17 year old friend. I'll be checking every hour or so. But then I don't know when you like to sleep. Like Ally said, tiresome time zone difference. I'm in the same time zone that she is, Pacific.

That said, I will be checking in every so often, likely every hour, including the psych ward while I'm here. So it isn't a chat but maybe it will help. Sorry I can't do better than that. I want to finish sewing two shirts for a client, He works odd hours and hubby and I leave for holiday next Saturday so I want time to make an appointment so he can pick them up. Travel money, yay. I'll be in and out, in more in my evening, lessee, 6pm+8 hours is 2am. Snort. Sorry I can't do more.

Sugar and Spice 17-05-2008 09:18 PM

Hello Katch, I'm happy to chat :) What have you been up to today? x

Katch 17-05-2008 09:21 PM

been making loads of cups of tea for the men that are helping to sort out some of my dads belongings - exciting life eh!!! how about you?

MammaMia 17-05-2008 09:28 PM

Katch, if you wanna talk you know I'm here with everybody else :) Have you taken my advice btw?

Detour. Derail 17-05-2008 09:28 PM

Wow....:blink: I've been away not even a day but its like....years in here...
how is everyone *huggles*

Sugar and Spice 17-05-2008 09:30 PM

Wow, that is exciting...well, not really. Mine hasn't been much better lol. I've been tidying my room and working on an assignment for uni. Have smoothed things over with one of my flatmates, Enny, after an explosive argument a couple of weeks ago so had a long catch up too :)

Feeling fairly despondant atm tbh. I just wonder if I ever will get better or if I'm doomed to spend my life on an emotional rollercoaster :(

Detour. Derail 17-05-2008 09:32 PM

You'll get better Carole....it just takes time m'dear ^_^
but we are here for you all the way :D

Katch 17-05-2008 09:34 PM

huggles you baclk - and everyone else.

Hells - sorry I couldn't I really don't have any proof and it would just be my word - if anything else happens I will try and get the proof and then I will. I really hope I am wrong - but my intuition is usually pretty in tune and I'm worried that I'm not. (Sorry everyone else I know that doesn't mean anything to you)

You know me I love chatting - it's wierd though as it feels like I shouldn't be coz I don't want to hurt myself - I want to put part 2 of my story in soon as well - must be feeling strong...

Detour. Derail 17-05-2008 09:35 PM

If you want to hun...then go for it :)
If not...theres always another time :)
*hugs you*


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