Awh Laura (IF), I'm sorry that you had such a rubbish night last night. :( Getting drunk isn't usually a good thing to do... but who am I to say that, heh, as I've never gotten drunk. Just heard that bad things can & do happen then... despite how "good" you can feel. But maybe today will be better & you can make reparations if you need? *gentle hugs*

*cuddles Helen* How're you, love?

*huggles Franz* OHAI? Please translate... lol. :P I'm glad that the appt with the ED specialist went well and that you are writing lots of songs... :) You should post some of the lyrics in the creative corner.

I knew it, I knew it. As soon as I really woke up, I started feeling like crap. So here I am, sitting & being sad & quiet, wanting to cut, knowing I can... I don't know. I'm just a mess disguised as a person. :( I want to be better, yet I'm scared to be... I want to get over all of this, yet I don't know how... I am so sick of my life but I don't know how to change it.

*cries*

i get drunk a lot at the moment. it makes me feel better. for a while. until i do something stupid and someone shouts at me. or the morning after if no-one stopped me. hmm...apparently no-one's talking to me since last night...well, they haven't replied to any messages so who knows. maybe they're just busy. here's hoping.

*cuddles Laura*

I just posted in my thread in the main Vet's support forum... :(

*hides away forever & ever*

XD OHAI! = OH HII!!!

Ahh I see... Franz, you are a silly goose!! :P *cuddles* How you doing this morning?

April: :P I'm good! Just sat in college, working on my tribute song for The Rev. :D I'm so proud to be an A7X fan.

I haven't cut since Sunday either, so I'm happy about that as well. :')

Ah cool. :) Congrats on not cutting since Sunday... I just cut. :( Stupid stupid me.

I want to hide forever & never have to come out... :ermm:

I'm happy :o but very tired >_<

*curls up in a ball*

can it be over now please?

*cuddles*

I know it hurts so bad right now, but it WILL end. I promise. Love you Vicki.

*cuddles* everyone

maybe we could have laura star and laura friend?? silly but u know

My girlfriends really struggling with food atm. I dnt know what to do. She keeps getting really anxious. She said she's too fat too have an ed which is such a lie (but she cant see it) shes in the healthy brackets of bmi (at the lower end even) Any advice? support?

Love u ladies (and fellas if any venture in!)

x x x

I know someone who has that problem :( It's hard, but ANYONE can get an eating disorder. Useless reply but heh >_>

I shall be disappearing soon, heading up north to see my sister, she doesn't know we're coming. It's her birthday tomorrow but she's busy. So we're suprising her tonight instead. =D

laura- hi! im the other laura!

hmm.. idk what we should do about this 2 laura business lol... i guess u could always just add an M onto the end of my name if u want.. thats easier then typing star everytime if u are replying to me.

*hugs april* dont hide forever! sorry to hear that u just SI'd. *cuddles*

*hugs franz* good job!

*hugs vicki*

*hugs jocelyn* sorry, i dont have much advice about your gf situation. Just make sure she knows u are there for her and don't feel like any of her troubles with eating are your fault.

*hugs helen* sorry you didnt sleep well again hun. have fun surprising ur sister!

I dont have class on friday's! woot woot! but i have so much work that i dont think that will matter lol. Oh well. Had a very interesting conversation with a friend last night... let me just say, history for me is very repetitive.

*hugs everyone*
haha Laura does your surname start with M too?! haha how funny. lol
i don't think my best friend is in a great mood with me tbh...she still hasn't replied :'( i **** everything up. all the time. especially when i'm drunk.
I"M SUCH AN IDIOT!
:'(

Wish I could believe you Hells. :( - I just want him back :(

*Hugs everybody*

Jocelyn - A really close friend of mine (practically sister) is in the same place. Except she's underweight, and there's nothing I can do for her. I hope you manage to help her see sense, but I'm here if you need to vent or anything.

Laura, what's happened hon?

i just want someone to hold me until i feel better. and i wish it could be him. but it can't. and it can't even be my best friend because i'm an idiot and shouted at her. basically i wanted to go back to this guys house, and my friend knew it was a bad idea so she tried to stop me. she did stop me after about half an hour of shouting at me in the road. why did i do it? why didn't i just lie and then go anyway? or not have done it in the first place?*hides under a blanket and cries*

*cuddles everyone*

LauraStar :D is pretty I think. And LauraFriend is nice too.

*huggles LauraStar* I'm sorry that you have so much work!! I have only one class on Fridays, which is amazing... lol... but I have 2 hours of tutoring prior to that class, so that's not so amazing (I'm the tutor). At least it's paid... heh. And I do enjoy it... it's just that it can get tiresome sitting in a box of a room by myself (or with other people, which makes it cramped & claustrophobic) for that long. At least it's not 3 hours each time this term, like it was last term... heh.

*holds LauraFriend gently* I know it's not the same... but hey, it was worth a shot!! heh. I'm sorry that you and your bestie are in an upset with each other... hopefully things will get straightened out. Maybe don't get drunk so much? just a thought, I know it makes you feel better in the shortterm but maybe it's not really worth it? *rocks back and forth*

*huggles Helen* How are you doing?

*hugs Vicki* I wish I could make things better for you, love... sounds like you are struggling so much right now. Is there anything that I/we can do?

Sorry if I missed anyone...

I'm doing meh. Had lunch out & really want to purge now... damn eating disorder!!!! *sigh* The purging urges disappeared for awhile after cutting - I mean, I actually ate something & didn't want to puke it up... heh... but then they returned. :(

I have half an hour before I have to go to tutoring, so I will probably go there early after I finish browsing these forums... and sit & do sociology homework. Heh. Fun. Then soc class, then home for the weekend!! Woohoo... homework time. :(

My car still isn't working (I don't think). I'm going to try it out, see if the EPC light still comes on when I turn it on and drive it a bit, and if it does, I'm going to call a garage and see if I can drop it off on Wednesday. I've been getting rides to & from uni with dad/bestie, so that's been good. GRRRRR...

*hides*

Awh Laura, everybody makes mistakes hon. Especially when it comes to things like that. I'm sure it will blow over, you just need to give it time. In terms of wishing it was 'him' holding you I know that one so, so much. There's just nothing that can compare to that. I don't know who 'he' is or what happened but I'm sure it'll get easier. *big hugs*

Thanks April. Yeah, I'm struggling quite a bit. You guys are doing an awful lot just letting me rant and being here for me, but short of getting him back for me, making me keep my job and have some money then there's not really much else you can do. But thank you :)
Sounds like you're having a bit of trouble yourself. I don't really have experience in ED's so I'm useless in supporting on that one, but if you ever need to just talk/rant or anything I'm always listening. x

:( I want to be better, yet I'm scared to be... I want to get over all of this, yet I don't know how... I am so sick of my life but I don't know how to change it.

heh you sound like me april :/
*hug*

*cuddles with teddy in corner* tireeed.

Ugh. I am really anxious right now but I don't want to "give in" & take a Klonopin... I really need to learn coping skills for anxiety... but it's so difficult!!! I don't know if any of you guys here have anxiety disorder(s) but they suck... panic disorder, whatever you want to call it, that's what I've got. *sigh* I feel panicky right now and there's nothing I can do to calm myself down really except reaching out for help or distracting myself... and both of those are difficult things to do!!

I see my therapist on Monday... :-X I'm nervous. I don't know what we'll be talking about but I'm sure that my feelings about this semester will be covered in the session. No one seems to understand that IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT I AM EXTREMELY CLOSE TO GRADUATION, I STILL FEEL LIKE ****!!! (sorry for the caps... :o) The fact that I am nearly done with school (for now - grad school is going to happen in the future) doesn't help me feel any ****ing better about myself or what's going on in my head.

*cries quietly in the corner*