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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

katnovia 03-05-2010 05:38 PM

*hugs shadowed soul* you'll be fine hunny. come here and shout if you have to

Scarletdreamer 03-05-2010 05:50 PM

I spy a Mark & an Oliver!! *cuddles* :D

Thanks for the hot choc, Mark, it's really appreciated. :) I hate going to the dentist's - I don't have a phobia of them but I do get anxious and opening my mouth wide just makes it worse... and now I have to get my wisdom teeth out, I'm scared. :( The upper ones came in just fine but as I said, the lower ones are being troublesome. Jarrod's haven't even come in (yet?) and he's 28... I wonder if they ever will. Gahhh!!!! :'( But anyway - how are you doing? feeling okay after getting out some and being successful at conquering anxiety, even if it were just a little bit? *cuddles*

Kat, thanks for the cuddles & huggles... :) ...B+ doesn't seem to be GREAT to me but okay... I can settle for that if I have to as I was looking at a B at midterms. But if I can pull it up to a A- I will be SO HAPPY!!! But I have to work on soc really hard, since I currently have a C+ in that class... want to pull it up to a B+ with the final paper and final exam... I think I can do it if I try really really hard... :-/ How are you doing today?? *cuddles*

Jill, sweetie, I'm sorry you're so stressed... it really does suck. *big cuddles* I hope that you find a HEALTHY way of getting out the frustration etc. that cutting can help with... please try to fight the urges, okay, hon? *holds you gently and rocks back and forth*

I'm so tired... tried to help a friend with health psych labwork and I couldn't, felt so dumb. Then ran across my bestie & her fiancé and they were headed for lunch and didn't invite me... so I felt left out. :( I mean, I understand them wanting "alone time" but at the same time, were it Jarrod and me, and her alone, I'd have invited her along. GRRRR!!!!! Just feeling kind of pent up and antsy and angry and frustrated, all at once. It's VERY annoying!!!

:crying:

*hides in a dark hole*

Doikers 03-05-2010 06:01 PM

*Hugs April* I don't KNOW a lot about uni grades and the like but I DO know that you will try your hardest and get a great grade :) I have faith in you . Also I'm sorry your friend and her fella went off to dinner without you , maybe they needed some "couple time" but still it woulden't have hurt to ask , wanna have virtual lunch with me ? :-)

katnovia 03-05-2010 06:03 PM

april: well i'm rooting for you hunny. i'm sure you can do it. set your sights on it, try your hardest, and dont be too dissapointed if you dont succeed, be proud you tried.

MammaMia 03-05-2010 06:43 PM

*hugs everyone*

Have had a better day...if anyone cares.

Doikers 03-05-2010 06:45 PM

*Hugs Helen* I am so glad you have had a better day today :-) I care and I'm sure the whole ward cares too.

MammaMia 03-05-2010 06:47 PM

Not so sure about that anymore Mark. But thank you *hugs* Glad you managed to get out too :) xx

frenchhorn 03-05-2010 06:52 PM

*hugs Helen* I care and am gald you have had a better day.

*cuddles April* I hate dentists too, but then I get anxious over any sort of appointment. I hope it goes/went well.

*hugs Mark, JK, Laura, Kahlia, Julie, Kat, Crimson, Nicole, and anyone else who I may have forgotten*

I'm feeling a bit weird at the moment, still majorly depressed, but I have some motivation, think that may be because I got my DJ(dinner jacket) today and completely passed in the shop and tried it all on when I got home, with shirt, trousers, bowtie and shoes and it actually looked ok, also I brought myself a waistcoat because I have a new found love for them. It was also the RYL manchester meet today, which was fun, although we didnt invade starbucks like we usually do.
I'm majorly sleepy though but am determined to do some practice, tidy my room a little and do some uni work.

SoMuchMore 03-05-2010 08:02 PM

*hugs mark, april, kat, nicole, JK, kahlia, julie, crimson, hayley, and everyone else i missed*

*cuddles helen* I care hun. Im sry that you feel like ppl don't right now... but i really do care. Im glad that you day has been better.

*hugs oliver* Yay! motivation is good, its a start anyway. Im glad that you like your new dinner jacket and i'm sure you looked great! Hope you are getting all the stuff done that you need to.

I had nightmares last night. And now I'm trying to get a bunch of work done and all i can think of is those stupid dreams.

MammaMia 03-05-2010 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frenchhorn (Post 2276807)
*hugs Helen* I care and am gald you have had a better day.

*hugs Oliver* Thanks, glad you had fun at the meet. Sorry you're still feeling depressed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fallinstar0317 (Post 2276965)
*cuddles helen* I care hun. Im sry that you feel like ppl don't right now... but i really do care. Im glad that you day has been better.

Thanks. I feel a lot like it now. Don't have anyone to talk to tonight, oh well.

PS. Why must applications be so complicated :/

Doikers 03-05-2010 08:07 PM

*Hugs Laura* I'm sorry you had nightmares , they suck , :S Sorry no advice just *hugs*

SoMuchMore 03-05-2010 10:09 PM

*hugs helen* applications are a b**ch sometimes. idk why they have to be complicated. And if you ever need to talk to someone you can always PM me. I'm always open to listening :-)

*hugs mark* thanks. nightmares really do suck. How r u doing?

shadowedsoul 03-05-2010 11:09 PM

Thanks guys,today has been ****,have manged not to cut.
cheers for the hugs guys.

MammaMia 03-05-2010 11:28 PM

Thanks Laura. Means a lot. Forgot to say earlier, nightmares are horrible :( So know how you feel.

frenchhorn 03-05-2010 11:52 PM

*cuddles all, then hides*

I'm sorry guys I cant do individual replies too much going on in my head and I did some practice earlier, it was going badly, I got angry, ended up cutting then got angry cos i did that.

stupid stupid boy

Scarletdreamer 04-05-2010 12:06 AM

Oliver, love, you're not a "stupid stupid boy" ... we all have regrets and things we wish we could redo... you've done so well for not cutting in awhile, it's just a slip - try not to beat yourself up over it. *cuddles* I wish I could help more... are you taking care of the cut? hopefully it's not too bad... *more cuddles*

Hels, we all care about you in here. I hope that no one here has made you feel unwelcome in any way... *scowls at person if there is one* Feel April's Wrath!!! lol... No but seriously, I know that I like you as a person, you're lovely and sweet and kind, and I know you probably can't believe those things right now, and that's okay... but try to tell yourself them. *holds you gently*

Laura, good to see you posting. *cuddles* How've you been doing? And no worries about being "repetitive" - IT IS OKAY TO TALK ABOUT HOW YOU ARE DOING IN HERE. :) Sorry for the caps but it feels like for some of you I need to make sure you see it!! *more cuddles* Miss your longer posts...

I spy an Oliver!! *extra-special April cuddles*

Mark, thanks, I'd love to have virtual lunch - well, supper now - with you. :) You're so sweet. I hope that you're doing okay and aren't feeling too low... *curls up next to*

Jill, I'm sorry that the day was so **** for you... care to talk about it at all? And I'm glad that you managed not to cut - that's awesome!! :D Way to go. *huggles*

Kahlia, JK, Crimson, Hayley, Kat, Nicole, Julie, anyone else I forgot, hope you all are doing well. *big cuddles* ♥

I'm so tired... it's been such a long day. I took that stupid senior sem final thingy, it was a general education assessment, and it was really dumb. I think I got most of the answers right but I'm not sure... it doesn't affect my grade anyway. But it felt like such a damn waste of my time. :( Ugh.

And it's really gross... there are soo many caterpillars all over campus this year, swinging from the trees and crawling on benches and just UGHHH!!! I don't mind them half as much as some girls do though... which is saying something. YUCK. It's awfully nasty... I know I may seem squeamish by posting this, but I did study entomology and have insect collections made, etc... but caterpillars, especially how many are on campus now, just make me go EWWWWWWWWWW!!!! like a little girl. :(

Sorry, that was random. :-/

I'm anxious right now... per usual... and my Klonopin is running out. If it doesn't come tomorrow I'm going to have to have my NP call in an emergency script... I did order it 2-day delivery so it should be here either today or tomorrow... hopefully it was today... :-/

*hides*

Scarletdreamer 04-05-2010 12:18 AM

Ugh am so triggered... suicide... want to die. :'(

*hides in an invisible hole*

:crying:

frenchhorn 04-05-2010 12:41 AM

*cuddles April lots* I dont want you to die, and I'm sure no one else in the ward does, your such a great person and I love having you around here.
Oh and caterpillars are amazing, so beautiful, but I am a guy who loves all animals and thinks they are all beautiful.

thanks for the special hugs, I just feel so stupid because it was very impulsive and ended up cutting in my hand as well so its pretty visible and got to see my counsellor tomorrow, he knows about it, but we've never discussed it.
I'm doing a bit better now, watching torchwood and tried on my DJ suit as a whole and liked it, it feels good to at last be wearing a DJ for orchestra when I havnt been able to before.

*hugs* helen, yes I agree application forms are so unnecessarilly complicated.

*hugs Laura* yes nightmares do suck, I'm sorry you had one

*hugs shadowedsoul* well done on not cutting

*hugs everyone else who wants them*

Scarletdreamer 04-05-2010 12:50 AM

I can't help but feel like everything I do is pointless. I don't know. I am so sick of my life... but you've all heard it all before, no point in my reiterating it... I just want to die. I am so sick, so so sick of being here - alive, I mean - and after awhile, you all would forget about me anyway.

:crying:

frenchhorn 04-05-2010 12:58 AM

*cuddles April and sits with for as long as she needs*
We are not sick of you and we would miss you terribly and would not forget about you, you mean a lot to us in here, to me you mean a lot, you always say such kind things to me, well now its my turn to say some to you, because they are true. You are a talented, beautiful, clever, kind, friendly, caring young lady, who should be very proud of herself for keeping going so well, with so much going on in her life.
and if you need to rant/ talk about anything, even if its been said many times before, you can do it in here, or my PM box is always open for you.

*stays sat with April if she wants*

Scarletdreamer 04-05-2010 01:00 AM

Thanks Oliver. *curls up next to and rocks back and forth* I just feel like such **** right now and all because of reading a single post - not on RYL, elsewhere - about someone killing himself. It wasn't graphic or anything, just a mentioning, but it made me think about dying and part of me wishes that no one liked me, because then at least I wouldn't have any reasons NOT to kill myself. :'(

Thank you for your kind words though... *stays curled up next to* :(

frenchhorn 04-05-2010 01:03 AM

*holds April* well I meant all my kind words.

Scarletdreamer 04-05-2010 01:08 AM

*clings and feels pitiful because of clinging* It's hard to believe them, so hard, I hate myself so much... have since the abuse when I was 14, that's so long ago now I know, over a third of my life ago, but I can't help it... I just want to die... I've had enough. :crying:

frenchhorn 04-05-2010 01:13 AM

*holds onto April tight* its ok, I can understand where you are coming from, I've hated myself since about 14/15 when the seriously bad bullying started, but you know there are people out there who care for you and love you and I know you dont believe it, because if someone said that to me I wouldnt believe it, but its true, because I care about you.
I know its hard to believe the kind words, but it wont stop be saying them because they are true, they really are.

*stays with April and will stay with her all night if necessary*

Scarletdreamer 04-05-2010 01:15 AM

*curls up next to Oliver and continues rocking back and forth* Thanks... I think I will go take a nice hot bath in a few minutes and then go to bed... I am so tired. Have been so angry lately, much angrier than usual, probably because I'm a petty angry fat bitch... but I can't help it. I don't know how to change.

*hides*

frenchhorn 04-05-2010 01:19 AM

*cuddles April with extra special Oliver cuddles* a hot bath sounds like a good idea, your NOT a petty angry fat bitch, your beautiful, lovely amazing kind etc, see above post for more :)
I hope a hot bath and sleep helps, I'll be around for a while longer if you need me.

Scarletdreamer 04-05-2010 01:23 AM

*cuddles Oliver* Thanks love... you're a great guy. Off to a hot bath with lavendar salts... maybe that will help cool off some of the anger I have built up in me... I have no idea how to even process my emotions... I don't know. I don't have ANY therapist to turn to anymore... and my NP, well, she still hasn't responded to my text from Saturday night so needless to say she's not very responsive... I don't know... Anyway, bath and bed, and maybe I'll feel better in the morning. :-/

*leaves a box of cuddles on the table for those who want them* ♥

frenchhorn 04-05-2010 01:27 AM

*takes some cuddles from the box* thanks April, I really hope a hot bath and bed will help you, I hope you sleep well.
*gives April a big goodnight cuddles and sends her off with a box filled with cuddles*

MammaMia 04-05-2010 02:23 AM

*cuddles everyone*

I'm faaaaaaaaar too hyper. Hahahaha.

SoMuchMore 04-05-2010 03:01 AM

*cuddles april* as oliver has said, you are a beautiful person, both inside and out. We appreciate you so much here hun. I hope that the bath and sleeping help.

*hugs oliver* im sorry that you cut, would it help to talk to your counsellor at all about it? Hope you are feeling better. Im so glad that you are liking your suit!

*watches helen jump around in hyperness* lol... being hyper can be fun sometimes. Is this a fun type of hyper?

I am not doing well right now. I dont feel like i am ever going to get past this point... everything hurts.
*curls up and cries*

xxjuliexx 04-05-2010 05:59 AM

um... hi anyone here

xxjuliexx 04-05-2010 08:20 AM

um.. hi

Kahlia1981 04-05-2010 09:58 AM

Hi all.

My monitor didn't arrive today. The guys at the store place seem to be insinuating that I'm a moron. They gave me a consignment number for Australia Post, that Australia Post has informed us is in no way a valid consignment number for them as theirs contain a mixture of alphanumeric characters and the one they gave me (apart from being far too long) was only numeric. So I emailed the store asking for a valid consignment number ... they replied to tell me that "the consignment number should be truncated to x numbers". I'm currently resisting the urge to respond to them asking if they think I am stupid. I've bought all the pieces for my computer from them, but after this I am going elsewhere. For god's sake, my IQ is well over 100 and I doubt theirs even makes 50 (combined)! Grrrr.

Sorry, just had to get that out.

I hope everyone is starting to feel a bit better. Sorry I haven't been able to reply to anyone. :(

*hugs everyone who can accept hugs and leaves surprises on the table (they are whatever you want them to be)*

xxjuliexx 04-05-2010 10:01 AM

*hugs Kahlia1981*

Doikers 04-05-2010 11:11 AM

*Hugs April* I for one would not forget about you ! and you are a king , lovely person and you will see that someday . I hope you had a nice bath and a good nights sleep and I hope to catch up with you later *Extra Hugs*
*Hugs Kahlia* grrrr I'm sorry you are having problems with your computer supplier , I hope it gets sorted soon :)

I don't seem to be able to get out of bed much before 10.30am everyday and I really try , I really do , I even leave an energy drink by the bed . SO lazy.

xxjuliexx 04-05-2010 11:13 AM

-curls up small-

Doikers 04-05-2010 11:20 AM

*waves at Owen*

Just on my way out and the gas maintinence guy rings the bell so I can't go out right now hmmm.
Still hyper Helen ? *Hugs*

*Super Hugs for Nicole* I hope you are coping today Nicole

jonikd 04-05-2010 11:29 AM

Laura - you will get through this point hun, you reminded me of that Everybody Hurts song by REM Thinking about you sweet, please hold on and if it all gets a bit much in here feel free to PM me *cuddles*
The following content has been hidden - Reason : lyrics of song...long!

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on
'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone
If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone
April things will improve , please get the help you need OK? We care so much about you. Please believe us *wraps up away from harm, and hugs*

Helen - glad you were feeling a bit better and that you sorted stuff with your mum. Hope that by the time you read this you're still doing ok *cuddles to make sure Helen is ok*

*squishes Kahlia* how you doing; apart from the ongoing computer issues

Mark & Oliver you guys have been great in supporting everyone over the last few days. And I know you're both hurting too. You're both amazing,look after yourselves to huh *hugs the boys tight*

Julie - being in the Southern Hemisphere does suck sometimes hey hun, waiting for our mates up North to come visit us! Keep talking ok?

*hugs little Nicole tightly* hope you a bit better today honey.

*waves at shadowedsoul, Lindsay, M.I.D and Kat*

*waves at Owen who has just popped in*

*sits quietly and wonders how Crimson and Hayley are doing. And misses them. A lot*

katnovia 04-05-2010 11:36 AM

*skulks in and leaves boxes of clean hankies for all on the table* *skulks off down the many corridors for a sulk*

frenchhorn 04-05-2010 11:42 AM

*cuddles all who want cuddles*
I'm sat here waiting for my mum to ring, she wants to talk to me about my sister, who isn't talking to me anymore and apparently everytime mentions me at home she goes very quiet. don't want to have to do this.

xxjuliexx 04-05-2010 11:43 AM

hi kat, Kahlia1981, nicole, Scarletdreamer, oliver
hi all the people i for got-looks at floor-sorry

frenchhorn 04-05-2010 11:44 AM

Hi Owen *waves* howa are you?

Scarletdreamer 04-05-2010 11:44 AM

I spy a Kat, an Oliver, and a Mark!! :D *cuddles*

Thanks for the concern, everyone - Laura, Hels, JK, Mark, Oliver - I am doing a little better this morning but still REALLY ANGRY... not at anyone here... not really AT anyone at all... just ANGRY. It's really rather scary. :-S I don't know... I also still want to die and Jarrod's going away this afternoon for a bit so I will have opportunity to cut... :-/

Mark, care to have virtual lunch with me again today? :D Anyone else can join us... hehe. I just figured we could plan on it before it's actually lunchtime. Of course, in virtual land, the 5-hour time difference doesn't matter. Lol. :P *cuddles* How you doing? JK is right, you and Oliver have been AMAZING at helping me/us even though you're struggling yourself... please, the both of you, don't feel like you can't post on here how YOU are doing. :)

*cuddles JK* Sweetheart, how are you doing? You haven't posted for us an update in quite a bit... am getting concerned about you. How are things going? roughly? or a bit smoother than they were before?

*cuddles Hels* Good hyper or bad hyper? I hope you're okay this morning as that post is a few hours old...

*cuddles Kahlia* So sorry that the comp place seems to think you're an idiot. :( Hopefully your monitor arrives shortly... that must be SO FRUSTRATING!!! :( But how are you doing other than the monitor issues??

*cuddles Laura* I'm so sorry that you're not doing well, hon... is there anything that I can do? What hurts so much? Can you figure out the root cause? - is it your ex and what he did to you? *holds you gently and rocks back & forth*

*sends out cuddles to Nicole, Crimson, and Hayley, wherever they may be... and misses them too*

*waves at Owen* :)

xxjuliexx 04-05-2010 11:47 AM

hi Fallinstar0317 we no meet yet i is owen
i is tired but cant sleep

jonikd 04-05-2010 11:49 AM

Oh yeah, I forgot to cover off me!

Really bad day yesterday with a friend's funeral, very triggered and the closest to SU feelings I've had for 20 years. But got through pretty much in one piece. There's a huge amount going on for me, but I'm hanging in there. One day at a time is all I've got at the moment, but so far so good ;) I appreciate you asking, I just assume noone cares cos that's how I am in real life too *hugs*

Oh and April, please don't hurt yourself hun, you don't deserve it, just stay on here all afternoon and chat to everyone here. Please take care, ok? *hugs goodnight*

xxjuliexx 04-05-2010 11:56 AM

jk *tenses shoulders slightly and hugs u* i very sorry bout ur friend

jonikd 04-05-2010 12:00 PM

Awww thanks Owen, I know hugging's not really your thing and I appreciate it :) How you doing? What's Julie up to?

xxjuliexx 04-05-2010 12:01 PM

hi oliver i is okish just so sleepy

lynx 04-05-2010 12:03 PM

Can I join? I feel horrible :-( I found an old series of blog entries which have shocked me in a way... I remember knitting the sweater I wrote about, I remember going to Ghent with Wesley, I kind of remember how I went to the psychologist and she told me not to be so hard on myself... I don't remember, however, writing about it and all the crap I found in that blog. I only managed to maintain it for 3 months so I guess it was a fase, but what kind of fase??? I remember going to the psychologist to tell her I was fine. That doesn't make sense? Also I wrote that "now I'm young I want to do stupid things, I don't care if I'm traceable through the internet"??? What the hell?

My eating has been very low lately. Either I binge or I eat little. I'm supposed to be ill today but I know why that is: I ****ed up. Badly. I want to eat oatmeal for breakfast and I want to drink lots and lots of milk and eat fruit, but I need someone to nurture me. I can't go to Tom's because I have to go to work tomorrow. I know I could go, though, but there would be very little sense to make out of that.

For the rest of it I can't stop crying/cutting. I think I'm going to clean up the mess in my room for a bit. Then maybe eat something. I want to get out of here, I want to live my own life whatever the hell that may mean. I want a house and I want my boyfriend here with me. I feel so lonely right now...

xxjuliexx 04-05-2010 12:05 PM

hi lynx i is owen -gives lynx a model aeroplane-


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