I'm glad the bath helped a bit Ella. sorry your triggered can you do anything to distract yourself.

the urge to OD is getting worse, sat here shaking like a leaf, my heart pounding.

Am so sorry you are feeling so bad ...maybe have an early night go to bed with your teddy and wrap your self up warm comfort yourself do good things for yourself.

I have to pray in a few minutes so that will keep me busy for a little then am going to bed then waking up at 3 am to do another prayer

I hope that you stay safe tonight
Pm me any time if you need to talk Oliver

Thanks Ella, I hope praying helps you and wow you must be dedicated to wake up at 3 am to pray, hope it helps keep you distracted though

Hi all, just after a chat and all reali, im 21 with two kids and suffering with depression

*hugs Louise*
*Hugs Mark* Well done for being weeks free! Thats excellent :)
*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Laura*
*Hugs Oliver* I'm sorry that you have strong urges to od
*Hugs xdanix* if okay? Hi i'm Ian welcome! How are you?
*Waves to Ella*

*hugs Ian* how are you?

Hi xDanix *waves* I'm Oliver how are you?

*Hugs Oliver* I'm doing ok thanks Oliver. How are you? Are the urges still as strong?

glad your ok Ian. the urges are still really strong, really want to go to a bridge near me to jump and I want to OD, cant stop thinking about it all. am going to take a diaz to see if that calms me down.

*Hugs Ian and Oliver* (If you're wondering how I know your names, Charlie's with me)

*hugs Dani* ahh cool, say hi to her from me.

HIIIIII OLIVER! (From Charlie)

Hi Charlie how are you and Dani?

Oh cool lol. Hiya Charlie :) how are you?

*Hugs Oliver* I'm sorry that the urges have not died down.

Hey Ian.
Erm, the lucozade has kicked in and me and Dani are HYPER!!!!!!!!

*hugs Ian*

*jumps on Charlie* hehe

*hugs Dani and Charlie and Ian and Oliver*

I've determined that if I'm to do NaNoWriMo I'll need to do my weekend writing during the week. When I'm home and it's a weekend day I either don't write at all or hardly anything.... *nods*
Aside from that I've been moving more stuff out of my office to archives... It's so cleared up I may take a day off this week just because I can... kind of a mini vacation of sorts, ya know?

*cuddles Oliver until the urges are run off*

How other than hyper are you Charlie?

*leaves hugs and party popper for Mark* Good job on 7 weeks. (it was 7 right? sorry its back a ways)

*Falls over* *Cuddles*
I'm good :) enjoying my night with Dani.

*cuddles back*good good.
g'night everybody :)

*hugs Crimson* night

*hugs Charlie* glad your having a good night

I cant sleep , really not feeling so well..:(
Oliver i think you should call some one if you are feeling that you are going to OD or feel like going to the bridge .
I hope the diaz help you

Hi Ella, sorry you can't sleep. sorry your not feeling well whats wrong?

the diaz has helped a little, but I gave into some urges and cut, a lot and quite deeply

I think i have a stomach bug and am feeling really hot
i know its nothing to do with what i had for dinner because my husband is feeling ok

Glad its is helping . sorry that you cut
Am watch tv on line and the live feed died on me :(

sorry to hear that, hope you feel better soon.

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Laura*

*Waves to Ella*

*Waves to Dani* Hi I'm Mark:)

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Charlie*

*Hugs Crimson* Yes 7 weeks :)

Morning !!
how is everyone this morning ?

Numb Ella , *Waves* How are you?

Sorry you are feeling numb .
Am doing ok , feeling a lot better than what i was feeling last night.
Unsure what was going on there.

I'm glad you're feeling better Ella :)

*hugs all*

Last day at home for a while.

*hugs Mark, Laura, Oliver, Crimson, Charlie, Heather, and Ian*

*waves to Ella*

*waves to Dani* Hi! I'm Laura.

Sorry for my lack of details since I got back. I got sick yesterday (at least not while I was on vacation) and just didn't feel like talking about anything. Today, I feel better-ish... have a regular cold now. Anyway, my vacation was good. I thought everything was really interesting and I love exploring new places. Makes me really want to do a 5th quarter in my graduate program so I can intern in London for 3 months :-)

*hugs Laura* hope you are feeling better. Colds suck.

*curls up*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Oliver*

*hugs Mark* how are you doing?

*hugs Oliver*
*hugs Mark*

how are you?

* waves *
hows everyone ?

*hugs Laura* how are you?

*waves to Ella* how are you?

I'm not good, very suicidal, got lots of urges, even taking a diaz hasn't calmed me down. I've spent the whole day in bed cos I'm just so depressed

*Hugs* Oliver...
Hope you feel better soon x

*hugs Dani* thanks how are you?

Am good ...Sorry you are feeling so bad at the moment Oliver

yeah still on a hyper today just been dancing around my front room :-)

Lol sounds fun

Yeah it is lol... Until my partner gets here and then the arguments will probably start...!

*hugs Ella*
*hugs Oliver*
*hugs Dani*

I'm going inpatient tomorrow morning. I'm not ready.
I hyperventilated twice in the last 6 days, that's how panicked I am.

*Hugs Laura* It's nothing to be scared about hun , I've done it 3 times and here I am :)

*hugs Laura* try not to be scared, they are there to help you.

*hugs Dani and Mark*

I'm going to actually try get up and may try to go to my youth group and if I'm still feeling this unsafe after that I may take myself to A and E

*hugs Mark*
*hugs Oliver* I hope youth group is helping.

I'm unable to talk with them. I didn't talk at the assessment, so I think they have to stay at the closed ward. Great.

*hugs all*
You will be fine hun just remember they are their to help you xx

Oliver i hope youth group will help you feel better this evening and i will be popping in and out of this all evening
xx

hugs everyone

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Dani if okay*

*Hugs Laura*