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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

yoyogirl 13-10-2013 10:02 AM

Hiding in bed with my duvet and dog today

Long*Past 14-10-2013 10:06 AM

*makes a cup of tea and goes to curl up in bed*

yoyogirl 14-10-2013 01:04 PM

Still not feeling to good gonna make myself a cuppa tea, grab some galaxy from shop and hide in bed.

Long*Past 14-10-2013 08:17 PM

I should get dressed... but meh. Also need to eat, but don't want to. *pulls blankets over head*

Kittyenna 17-10-2013 12:01 AM

*checking in for a long time* hides under blankets and pillow

Long*Past 17-10-2013 02:14 AM

*takes tea and blankets out of bed* Hey, Rinnagirl. Can I just come sit with you?

Kittyenna 17-10-2013 11:38 PM

*nods* company would be a nice distraction

Long*Past 18-10-2013 02:16 AM

*wraps blanket around self, clutching cup of tea, next to Rinnagirl* I'm Ashley.

Kittyenna 18-10-2013 08:57 PM

*curls up under blanket* Hi Ashley, I'm Nat :)

FranticMind 18-10-2013 11:19 PM

*Crawls in* this is my first time here, i need to feel safe.

Kittyenna 20-10-2013 12:08 AM

*waves* hey franticmind, you're safe here, come sit with us if you want

m0nk 23-10-2013 11:19 AM

*sets out a box of love with chocolates in it* + *cleans up mess around invisible table and room and walls* *refills blankets pillows and lemonade and cookies*

YodaBearInterrupted 24-10-2013 02:33 AM

*sits in the corner and stares at the wall*

Such a fragile mind have I... and one simple thing will break it right now

Kittyenna 26-10-2013 01:04 AM

I think I finally broke

Long*Past 28-10-2013 11:28 PM

*offers Nat hugs* I feel you.
*waves at franticmind and yodabearinterrupted* You can join us if you like. I find cuddle puddles sometimes help me.

Kahlia1981 29-10-2013 10:47 AM

I came back from hospital one day too late. I missed seeing my grandfather by less than 24 hours. My heart has gone with him. :crying: Now we all have to try and pick up the pieces and ensure my nanna still has a reason to live.

Still Scarred 03-11-2013 02:51 PM

*has just noticed this thread and likes the idea*
*not feeling safe, grabs a king sized a doona and selfishly wraps around herself to hide*

Kahlia1981 04-11-2013 10:45 AM

The tears are falling thick and fast today. My hallucinations are becoming stronger and it feels like they are more real than the rest of the world. I'm very suicidal and am attempting to hide it from my husband even though I know that betrays the trust. I just can't say anything to him.... I just feel like there is no way out and I want all this to end. Maybe I should just knock myself out for the night. *sigh*

*disappears into a corner with my teddy bear and several boxes of tissues*

Kittyenna 04-11-2013 09:35 PM

*hugs Ashley*

I give up, all the fight has gone out of me, can't do it anymore

FranticMind 04-11-2013 10:35 PM

*offers boxed hugs around the ward* im so sorry to her that Kahlia, that must be awful for you.

Kahlia1981 05-11-2013 09:01 AM

Kathrine: Thanks for your understanding and support. I'm here if you need to talk, get virtual hugs or just need to feel safe.

Sometimes it feels like we just can't fight any more, that we can no longer take what life is throwing up at us. At times like this the most important thing that anyone can do is to try. It sounds stupid but we have no chance to get through anything if we can't look at what situation we are in and discover what (and where) we would like to be. I'm not trying to belittle anyone else's problems but I want you to know that there is hope.

*hugs all who want/need them and leaves blankets and boxes of tissues around the ward*

Kahlia1981 06-11-2013 07:41 AM

Missing grandpa very badly today :crying:

*disappears into a corner with a teddy bear and a blanket*

m0nk 17-11-2013 11:45 AM

6+ months not drinking and cutting. can feel insomnia right next door.

LizzieRose 23-11-2013 03:00 AM

I don't want to be alone tonight...

YodaBearInterrupted 24-11-2013 11:59 PM

Yeah, I shouldn't have written that part of the story... now that scene triggered me and I have to deal with not doing well after being fine all day. This sucks :(

Kahlia1981 26-11-2013 08:01 PM

Sitting alone and crying before five in the morning. Another night of little sleep and I'm already over the day. I'm just going to hide in a corner with a pillow for the next six months

m0nk 08-12-2013 07:30 PM

sorry i crashed into this stopping all everyting and causing chaos cause u dont know me. im not like that. and instead of joining a cult or sekt i was heling people out of **** back in alt.suicide.bus.stop.

where i am living now they dont even support me enough to give me a job its just deserted in a blink. i am well enough from another persons mouth i can drive a car. i am fully capable of working. i used to drive grass harvesters and big trailers fuill of grass. helping around the farm. (too bad this isnt a farm *paints a green tractor on the left invisible wall besides the entrance*) i have not been helped in any way. and i just found out that everyone that lives in the same place where i do with them. is a anstalt for the psychically ill. and not a finger is lifted to help us. they just let us rot. i cant really talk this way about medicine cause the pills make me angry and in result does more harm than help me in that way. they change the times they come to give me meds. like i wanted the meds an hour inbetween the different pills. and they decided they wanted to give me them at the same time making me throw up and dizzy and noxius(naceous) ill. its currently snowing now in norway. "the fjords are cold and the fjells are white, come take a trip into the wild viking reign."

Kahlia1981 09-12-2013 10:44 AM

m0nk: unfortunately this situation is all to common. *safe hugs*

YodaBearInterrupted 11-12-2013 12:06 AM

*hides in the corner*

Really not doing very well right now, trying to focus on writing instead of doing bad things but even that is not going very well :(

Kahlia1981 11-12-2013 05:04 AM

*offers safe hugs to Matt*

Matt: It's good that you are aware you aren't doing crash hot and have been able to try and distract yourself. I hope things get better but please keep talking to us here.

LizzieRose 11-12-2013 01:21 PM

I'm scared of what I might do to myself...

YodaBearInterrupted 15-12-2013 08:22 PM

Thanks Kahlia. *hugs* I have a bad habit of turning in on myself when I get upset or start getting deeply depressed/psychotic... so sometimes it is hard for me to allow people in and to tell them what is going on with me.

*hugs Alexia* whats wrong hun?

I am not doing so well either... trying to write it out in my journal but its not helping very much right now at all

YodaBearInterrupted 16-12-2013 02:18 AM

I feel like I am being watched. Like they are waiting for me to slip up to take me away. I texted a friend some hours ago that I wasn't doing well and he hasn't texted me back yet. I texted him again a few minutes ago telling him he may have to call if it continues to get worse. He took my phone and wrote down the numbers (my old psych and the hospital numbers) last time I was in crisis so he could call them if needed. I hate myself for letting him get those numbers. I am a bad person... always helping others and getting nothing back in return. I want so badly to give up right now

Kahlia1981 17-12-2013 11:18 AM

Matt: *hugs* I think we all turn on ourselves, to varying degrees, when life gets tough or we become extremely unwell. Are you able to write down what is happening when you are not doing so crash hot? I'm wondering if it would be easier to give something written to people during times like that so you don't have to actually speak. I know the feeling of being watched and of people waiting for us to slip up. The good thing is that you have managed to text your friend. I can understand you not being happy with your friend having those numbers but you appear to have at least a little faith in him, that he will only act if you are truly in a crisis. *hugs*

Really not coping now. It's getting worse the closer we are getting to christmas. Never a good time of year *sigh*

YodaBearInterrupted 19-12-2013 11:35 PM

Thanks Kahlia *hugs* yeah, I write quite a lot... sometimes it ends up being like 10 pages in my journal. I do usually include what is going on and how I am feeling as well. I am scared to give them anything cause I do not know what they will do with it since it would kinda discuss about how I have been kinda suicidal at times... and last time the wanted for me to go and get a psych assessment or drive me to Woodburn. Woodburn is a short-term psych hospital. So I really feel caught between a rck and a hard place right now. I dunno what my friend would do either if I were to text him and say that I was kinda sorta suicidal. A few other friends know as well, but they have been pushing hard for me to either go back to seeing a new psych and get back on meds or go to Woodburn and take a "break". They know though, that I would rather attempt suicide first than be hospitalized.

By the way, what happens if you call a crisis center but then get too scared to say anything and hang up? Do they call you back or something?

Kahlia1981 20-12-2013 01:19 PM

Matt: I understand regarding preferring to attempt suicide than be hospitalised. In a lot of respects I am the same. Just a thought but could you re-write some of your journal to remove the parts you really don't want other people to see - maybe write that you have had suicidal thoughts instead of that you have been suicidal - and that may give you something you feel able to pass on. *huggles*

With regards to a crisis center, I can't answer for all of them obviously. The ones I have experience with here in Australia will often hang up after waiting for you to speak and then ring back if the number shows. Others will just expect you to call them back. Most try to get you to say something... anything on the phone, but it can depend on the person on the other end of the phone.

YodaBearInterrupted 22-12-2013 01:00 AM

Thanks Kahlia for answering my question and responding back to me *hugs* I hope you are doing okay as I crash and burn. I might end up calling tonight since its going poorly and I really don't care what I do right now and am kinda unsafe

*hides under a blanket on the couch*

Kahlia1981 23-12-2013 01:48 AM

Matt: *huggles* This time of year I find extremely difficult. Please try and keep yourself safe. I'll be thinking of you and hoping that things improve.

YodaBearInterrupted 28-12-2013 04:28 AM

*hugs Kahlia* Hope that you are doing well and this month isn't too bad for you. I am doing okies, not great though.

*puts down smores and cookies on the counter and some milk and water*

Kahlia1981 29-12-2013 05:08 AM

Matt: *hugs*

YodaBearInterrupted 04-01-2014 08:27 AM

*hides in the corner till its safe again*

Kahlia1981 05-01-2014 03:33 AM

*offers blankets to Matt* *huggles*

YodaBearInterrupted 05-01-2014 04:54 AM

Thanks Kahlia, its cold here for the next few nights. I am just tiptoeing the edge of a cliff right now... one slip and its over :(

m0nk 05-01-2014 04:43 PM

im so nervous about this. im about to take the theory test to begin taking driver licence. i cant concentrate almost. i need to read part 4 and 5 in the book "road to driver licence". then any day during next week i might go down to MOT to drop in for a theory test. i dont know where to stand cause im so nervous. if i fail i get suspended for 2 weeks until i can retake the test to pass it. if i dont get it right during before the end or march i have to wait til next october before i can complete the licence 100% cause i need night driving wich i can only take from october to march. wish all of you best of luck in finding focus, concentration and hope you remember and can find yourself to relax inbetween stressing times. remember to breathe if in disarray, it helps. :D

m0nk 05-01-2014 05:42 PM

/me manages to get out of the ward and steals with me a bit of cash to go to the town mall to shop horrendously many different things only your imaginations could explain if you relly needed them at the time you were in desperate need of something and redecorates the ward with shiny walls of hope and glittering furniture that spark a bright day and puts food in the cooler candy on the table aswell as non candy food like fruit on the living room table and removes any trace of sharp items for needed reasons cleans the rooms so that they smell fresh and clean so the air is suitable for a breathable atmosphere. lays card games on the tables, hangs posters on the wall, video games in front of the tv's, tells everyone to get showers and rest, organizes new clothes on the clothes rack, indoor shoes and hats, phluffy stuffed pets for whomever that needs them, and a new attic appears at the end of a 20 stair staircase with lots of warm blankets and a heater in the middle of the room in case people needs to relax, there is now a door bell incase "the wardens" would mind coming visist us for treated medical care everything from right hand lotion to scratches the cat that came with the furniture was misbehaving(naughty carol and clark(yes he's called by supermans human name since he likes to climb lamp poles and jumps from them)), new lamppoles everywhere so that it gets visible during night time so that fright is easily conquered, many mini stereo's so that people can listen to music if down and restless, several new laptops and a high speed internet subscription that the wardens agreed to when they found me strolling around town, magazines about all you can think of reading - atleast one for each and everyone, new time schedule to go walks with the wardens when you feel you want fresh air, new separate time schedule to talk with wardens if you feel you have a heavy heart - non commitable, new arconditioner units in the house - ward - separate rooms, trips in the new minibuss every tuesday and thursday for those who wanna get out and see the hills and the trees on the other side of the mountains, activities ward for those who wanna be handy - everything from small boxes to handmade rugs, saturday is pizza night - stay out or order takeaway or take in\home, theater studio in a separate big room - movie night out monday wednesday or friday at your own choice, shopping service so that if we run out of food items we can call shopping service to shop for us if we are lazy and wanna stay inside the ward, big kitchen if we wanna make our own food - no more warden food, excersize evenings sunday so that we actually sleep to monday instead of stressing about the beginning of a new week so we can sleep cause of tired, new cellphones for everyone just to keep in touch if we get lost or wanna hide from beeing found if in need of hugz or support or care.

YodaBearInterrupted 08-01-2014 09:06 AM

I was bad tonight :(

*goes to the corner and stares at the wall with a blanket*

shadow13 08-01-2014 04:45 PM

I see a lot of new faces. Some of you may remember me from 2010/2011. It's been 3 years, 3 months, 16 days since I've done anything to myself. I'm here today because for the past few weeks I've been thinking about hurting myself again. Or just disappearing altogether.

I can't sleep, I can't concentrate, I barely eat and I feel sick all the time. No one knows it's gone this far. So today, I'm back home, here with all of you.

Kahlia1981 10-01-2014 01:00 AM

Shadow13: I'm an old-timer on vets, particularly the virtual psych ward (VPW) and have seen many people come and go over time. Whilst I'm sorry that you need us again, I'm glad that you're able to use this forum to reach out. You've made quite an achievement being SI free as long as you have and I'm very encouraged to see you've reached out for help prior to doing anything harmful to yourself. That alone tells me that you are very self aware. I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with thoughts of self harm. Is there a reason you can think of that has rekindled these thoughts? I can understand wanting to disappear altogether. Having trouble sleeping, concentrating, eating and constantly feeling sick may be caused by anxiety and/or depression but it might be worth getting checked by a doctor (GP) just in case something physical isn't quite right. I hope you get what you need here. *safe hugs*

Matt: Firstly *hugs* I realise you did something you have been working to avoid doing but remember that doing so doesn't define who you are. You've been struggling very hard recently and it definitely hasn't been an easy path you've been walking. Still, you are bigger than this event and through it you will learn more about yourself and your own internal strength than you would have otherwise. You are a good person, even if it's hard to see that right now. *walks over and offers blankets and just sits with you*

M0nk: I hope that you are managing to concentrate a bit better on the required theory for your drivers licence test. Good luck if you haven't already taken the test, and if you have then I hope it went well. I'm not sure what else to say but I hope you are doing okay. *safe hugs*

As for me, things aren't going so well. My husband found out that I was intending to completely dump my pdoc and kill myself. He's asked me to see my pdoc one more time and to discuss my reasons for walking away, such as he doesn't listen, dismisses important things, discounts my psychotic episodes as dissociation, believes my nonexistent anxiety is the cause of the psychotic symptoms he acknowledges and doesn't have my best interest at heart. I can't see this as helping in any way but I'll give it a try. It's going to be a massive waste of my time but oh well ... You get that.

*finds a spot under a freezing cold airconditioner and makes a blanket fort for me and my teddy bear*

m0nk 10-01-2014 11:15 AM

airconditioner's not supposed to be cold. hum?!? why are you in the food storage cooler room? its cold there. come sit in the sofa so we can talk with you.

m0nk 10-01-2014 11:16 AM

i had 9 out of 7 possible errors. 2 errors too much. but everyone says its not that bad. ;)


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