Wow, this tread moves fast.

Um...why would your mom lock the kitchen when she leaves? That is strange. Has she been gone since Friday evening or Saturday? If so, that's really strange. =/ And going to bed early won't do any good. I will still be tired when I wake up.

-waves at sdixon- Hi I'm Kitty. How you be?

Hey Kitty, I'm Shannon. I'm not well, how are you?

I'm not doing too great myself.

It's nice to meet you, Shannon. What's wrong?

*Hugs Kitty and Shannon*
She locks it cause I tend to binge eat :/ but she went out before I woke up yesterday, so I haven't eaten.
Shannon-whats up? And yeah, we do move quickly :)

I'm having a hard time coping with life, and my mind telling me that it is a fact that everyone will be better off without me.

*Hugs shannon*
My brothers alarm clock is going off lol

*cuddles everyone who wants* sorry am useless atm

thanks

-offers nicole a nice breakfast that has no calories and is filling- That is not right of her to lock the kitchen if she is going to be gone for that long, or longer. Couldn't she at least leave you some food out?

-hugs shannon, if ok- I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say or do. I can relate to that, and I don't want to sound like a hypocrite. But everyone here in the ward cares for each other. That includes you. We care about you and would be terribly sad if anything were to happen to you.

*Hugs Heather, Shannon and Kitty*
thanks Kitty :) She sometimes does leave food out, but she didn't this time :( And I have no money oso I couldn't go to the shop yesterday.... She should be back in a few hours though :)

I know people care about me and I care about them; that is the problem. I wish people didn't and I wish I didn't, then I could just leave. I am thankful that people care, its just... I don't know what I want to say, sorry.

-hugs nicole- Good. I'm glad your mom will be home in a few hours.

No need to be sorry, Shannon. I understand, because I go through the same problem every day. I want to die, and believe it would be in everyone's best interest if I were to die. But then there is that other voice in my head telling me that I shouldn't...at least, not yet. Being that I am most likely pregnant, it's worse. I still want to die, but I wouldn't do anything to harm anyone, not even an unborn baby. But that suicidal voice...which is actually a girl that won't leave me alone but nobody else can see or hear...she's pissed. She tells me I need to do it after the baby is born. :/ I'm sorry I am probably not helping. I am rambling. I will shut up. But I do understand you. And there is no need to apologize.

*hugs Kitty* It does help knowing that I am not the only one with THAT voice. Thanks for understanding.

*Hugs Nicole* I am glad you will be able to eat in a few hours.

I need to head off to bed, its almost 2am here. Night all.

-hugs shannon- Night night Shannon. Sleep well.

I think I am going to go to bed, too. I can't fight it anymore. Night everyone. -hugs ward-

Nicole, please stay safe. I don't mean to abandon you or anything. I just can't stay up anymore. I'm exhausted.

I will drop in again tomorrow.

*huggles all*

been working on my assignment all day. managed to write 7 paragraphs in the end. still got quite a few - maybe another 4 or 5 to go.

head is still not in a good place. just trying to keep myself occupied so i don't think of suicide because i don't know how strong my 'will to live' is. :-(

hels: sorry i left you so suddenly on fb. my program cut me out because i was supposed to be studying and i didn't think to tell you it would be cutting in shortly. am really sorry. i was on a short study break when you saw me on there.

am trying to keep myself going. have a gp appointment on tuesday and am going to talk to him about the suicide stuff - but not in full detail.

just so damn over it ... still, it can't rain all the time, right??

*Hugs Nicole*
*Hugs Helen*
*Hugs Lia*
*Hugs Ian*
*Hugs Kelly*
*Hugs Felicia*
*Hugs Kitty*
*Hugs Asanunu* Hi , I'm Mark . Welcome to the ward :)
*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Shannon*
*Hugs Kahlia*

April Passes on *Hugs* and *Cuddles* :)

*Lurks*