Very true.

Hope tomororw is fab Zowie

*leaps on Helen and tickles her till she surrenders to giggles*

Thanks for that :P

I've just woken up form a 3 hour on/off nap, haha I feel even more **** physically and emotionally.

I wish this tension headache would **** off- 4 days old now =(

*Hugs Helen and offers pain killers and chocolate*

*gentle hugs for Helen and painkillers*

Ooooh chocoalate :) Wish this was real hehe =)

Painkillers don't touch my headaches :( Espically tension

Thanks for the hugs, have some in return :)

The painkillers you're taking probably aren't strong enough - you do become immune to some painkillers if you take them often for headaches, which stops them working.
Try a cold flannel on your forehead/neck. :)

You'll be OK Hells once Counselling is up and going. x

*hugs Helen and presses cold compresses on her*

*hugs dramatic and crowns her queen of good advice*

You're most likely right you know Laura. But I can't take strong painkillers haha, I'd take paracetomal, well the 500mg we do get sometimes, but after one of my od's, I cant stand taking them. Plus one time when I had strong painkillers for a toothache (which turned out to be an infection) made me throw up (well my mum thinks so).....

You really think sleep would help a headache wouldn't you? Hahahaha >.<

I'm in a mood to party and instead I'm at home hmmmm! Which is probs a good thing considering the state I'm in....

*Hugs Hells & ShadowedSeraph*

I'm not good with advice..i'm just an expert at taking painkillers as i've lived off them half my life!

In my opinion paracetamol is pants on it's own.
The best thing you can take for tension headaches is..a big jug of water! Honestly, although stress doesn't help headaches, dehydration is a big cause of headaches. And cold compresses help tremendously.

I'm on prescription painkillers which are extremely strong (they have codeine in), i have to take them for back problems, and although i take them for headaches..although they used to work, as i take them so often they only barely touch it now.

One of my friends who i worked with at my old job had a migraine, and she didn't have her migraine meds with her, so i gave her one of my prescription meds (not recommended but paracetamol wouldn't have done jack for her!) - i take two, but as she's so teeny i just gave her one - and within an hour she was jumping around the shop like a loon calling it the miracle pill!! hah.

But yeh..as i take them on a daily basis, you do become immune to them sadly, but they take enough pain away for me to not cry which is the main thing!!

So cold compresses and lots of water. *nod*
And ibuprofen for period pains *nods again*

Anyone wish to settle down with me and watch Pretty Woman that's on ITV2?!?
It's my favourite film :) As in..ever, along with Dirty Dancing *grins like a loon*

*hugs Laura*

Haha I'm shitting a brick about Tuesday already.

**** sake. Utterly dreading it.

But tomorrow & Sunday are here first which will keep me distracted (well tomorrow will)...:P

I keep thinking....after Sunday...I can **** off and die :D Then I keep thinking if I do anything, I'll feel stuipdly guilty after the amount of effort someone (wont mention her name)...is/has put in for Tuesday on my behalf ha. >.<

Don't you just love confliction? :D

I feel well pissed off still?? I thought I'd got all the anger out :S

I don't think you want to die Helen, i think you're incredibly overwhelmed with all the changes you're current experiencing, and with nowhere to vent these it's building up and you're feeling hopeless.

Counselling will be extremely beneficial for you, it proved that when you were at college.
It'll start soon and you'll feel much more "lighter", and not so weighed down with everything on your shoulders.

*Hug*
Keep your chin up, and you'll have a nice time on Sunday & Tuesday i'm sure of it.
x

Hi all. *hugs everyone*

Just been for some exercise. Already feeling like doing "just a little" bit more. It's stopping me from completely giving in to the depression.

I'm telling my pdoc on Tuesday that he's going to have to come up with a new idea. I'll give him a chance, but I'm coming off my meds. I can no longer do 10 tablets morning and night. Oh and ECT is NOT an option. It made my highs higher. I'm not risking that.

I think I'm just going to go start crying again. See you all later when I run out of boxes of tissues.

*hugs everyone then sneaks back under the bed and cries*

I know you think I don't want to die. I..dunno. I want to, but at the same time I'm slowly beginning to be like I can do this, I can get past this and keep pushing through. But then I'm still like, I don't, can't, and really DO want to die. I am ovewhelmed with the changes I'm going through, there's no denying that. I'm getting help with that from someone and they've done loads this past couple of weeks and it's really helped.

I quite agree counselling with be extremely beneficial for me. I just hope she can change my opinion of her within one session. I'm just trying not to have an opinion on her yet, but they do say you make judgements of people instantly and I've found her quite...frusrating so far. But I've been told by about 5 people now she's really lovely. Which I'm sure she is :) I just wonder if her standards will be good as my previous counsellor haha or maybe better? I know I will feel a lot lighter on Tuesday, once I've done it and gotten through. Though I don't think I get a lot done on Tuesday, cus I know the first appointment is taking details, and I'm dreading two questions..."have you ever been suidical" & "are you suidical right now" I know it has to be done though, so least I know it's coming I suposse..dreading answering it, cus of everything going on.

Thanks for the hug :)

Tuesday is going to be werid. I have a hundred things to do before it's my appointment. I have to meet Emma (I know about 8 emma's now haha). We'll probs have a quick catch up before our lecture, go to my only lecture, then go see Heather (who I am a tad furious with atm), then I'm going to see Lisa (she's lovely!) and then before 3, she's walking me down to my appointment. I half asked, because I don't trust myself to go alone incase I get too scared and run off. >.< But nah, it'll be ok. Then I'll be finished at 4pm, but Jess (yes who used to work at my college!!!) is coming in, so I dunno whether to hang around to possibly see her or not. Cus it'll take me AGES to get home again, thats the only trouble leaving after 2pm....you get caught up in frigging traffic :wow:

*hugs Kahila* Excercise is good, just watch you don't do too much hun :)

Have some more tissues hun, let it all out :-) *passes a couple of boxes*

*hugs helen dramatic and kahlia* i've got no words at the moment but i do have *hands out the chocolate and extra soft tissues*

*hugs Helen* I made myself cut it down to 15 minutes on the elliptical trainer. I wanted to do an hour, but knowing me I'd get to that point and then think "another 15 minutes" and "another 15 minutes" et cetera.
Thanks for the tissues but I'm really sorry .... I shouldn't be bothering you all with my petty issues.

*hugs back*
Is it okay if I skip on the chocolate ?? Thanks for the tissues though. I think I've gone through quite a number of packets just recently.


I'm scared that with my stupid mouth I've let some things slip to a friend of mine that could eventually put her in a really dangerous situation. Her case manager (who is technically my case manager as well) told her that I'm a bad influence on her. I think I might be. I don't always catch the things that come out of my mouth in time.

*hides back under the bed with the tissues*

*just stopping in to let ya'll know that I am still alive*

*hugs you* Yaaaay chocoalate :) and tissues. I wish I could cry. But I think because I got so angry the other night, I wont have a chance to cry for a long time now in person. :pinch:

*hugs you some more* I'm glad you did cut it down sweetie. It's still good amount though. Don't apologise sweetie, it's okay...:) I hope your friend will be ok soon too xxx

Yay I'm glad you are *hugs tight*

well that makes one of us :sigh:
*hugs back*

I feel like i'm being suffocated,
and everything around me is closing in.
Massive panic attack.

I just want to curl up into a ball and breathe my last breath.
I'm tired of pretending,
pretending this is all OK.
It isn't.
It never has been.

I need to re-think next weeks plans, because i was expecting more money,
than i got yesterday.
Which means i need to alter some of my old plans,
considering they involve money.

For now, i will curl up with my tool.
With any luck i'll bleed to death.
Unlikely.

Manda, I'm glad you're still here and still alive too. Although I do realise that my opinion doesn't count. *hugs*

Dramatic - x SAFE HUGS x *hugs*

Helen - Thanks. *hugs you tightly* I think I'm probably crying enough for everyone in the world at the moment.

*hides back under the bed and cries*

stop strangling me.
get off me.
GET OFF.
I'm going ok?
I'm going.
Just give me time.

Manda- yeah I guess.

Laura- lots of gentle hugs hun

Kahila- bless you sweetie. It's ok to cry.

I've been Christmas shopping online, ordered 5 presents, thats now 7 brought, so going to coutinue shopping :] See how much I can get done before I go to bed :P

Godobye.

^ Look after yourself. Please? Talk to us if you need to.

I'm not feeling great *curls up in the corner*.

Stay here please Laura?

AA- wanna talk? *snuggles*

your opinion means more to me than you know. Thanks for the hugs.

I.hate.you.
I.hate.this.

:(

I'm sick of crying. I've barely stopped over the last 24 hours.

I.want.out.NOW.

*Hugs all who needs them*
I didn't get drunk last night. Was really tired since I had to get up at 6:30 for college so I went to bed instead. Dad had some mates over, one just left (was asleep on the sofa). I was going to join them, but as I said, got too tired.
My teeth hurt.
Excited about the Brighton meet today! Weeeee! x

*hugs to all*

Thanks Hells. Feel a bit better this morning.

*sends huge hugs to anyone needing them*

Just wanted to pop in and apologise for last nights actions.
I was completely out of it emotionally/mentally, and don't even remember what i said until i re-read one of my journal entries/some posts on here.
Sorry if i worried anyone.

Just to let you know - i've posted a thread on the News & Debate Forum (Under General Chat) in regards to understanding mental health. I'd love any of your input if you feel upto it.

Hope you're all well. Sending lots of love and hugs to you all.
xx

I'm glad you're still here Laura *snuggles*

*hugs to everyone else*

Gwad I seem so easily wound up/frusrated today. I wish I could explain to them why but I cant :( I'm nearly crying again. ****ING HELL come on....tears

Hi all *hugs anyone who wants/needs/can accept hugs*

I want to scream. My two closest friends are having severe problems at the moment and I don't want to hurt either of them so I've been acting very quiet or attempting to act happy. One friend told me that I don't look good and I was definitely acting, and that she thought we had a deal that there was to be no acting between us. The other friend told me tonight that I'd been very quiet around him and asked me if he'd done something wrong. I tried to assure him that he hadn't done anything wrong. He's made the decision that he's leaving for Brisbane in two weeks and told me that it's not my fault that he's going and that I had done nothing wrong.

I'm going to Brisbane too. I'm intending to be down there before the end of the year. Not quite for the same reasons though... Health care in Townsville for mental health issues is basically non existent unless you go private and pay for it. I'm a private patient .... my friends aren't. I'm a private patient because the hospital refused to see my illness and it's symptoms as anything other than attention seeking.

Right now though I just feel ......... like crap. I'm sick of crying. I want to cut. I want to OD. I just want it all to end.

*screams*

I am so sorry about that .... I just needed to get that out.

Really really sorry.

HUGE
SPIDER
IN HERE.

*wimpers and hides*

*hugs tight* Just read both of your posts, don't apologise sweetie. Sorry I've not got anything more useful to say to help...

*squishes spider and hugs Helen*
*Hugs Kahlia* your allowed a good rant :)

*curls up in corner*

Thank you :hop: *squishes back lots*

^ My pleasure *squishes Helen*

I was so close to tears.
Then they stopped.
:(

*waves freshly cut onions at Helen*

haha they make my eyes sting bad :P

They make me cry which is why i thought it might be worth a try :P

bless- thank you hun xx

Thats ok *squishes helen*

Helen, I echo your sentiments. I absolutely hate (read as fear) spiders. I hope you don't have one near you now. *hugs*

Helen thank-you. I'll keep apologising though. I'm not sure I know how not to. *stays in the hug then hugs back* I hope you've managed to cry. I know you've been wanting to.

*is hugged*
Thanks, that kind of rant is not allowed in the presence of my family.


I got to work out how to tell my mum that I'm leaving .... and prepared to do so with the minimum of stuff.
At least I'm not crying right now .... I rarely cry and for the last few days that's about all that I've been doing.

*hugs anyone who wants hugs then goes back to hiding under the bed*