*cuddles all*

So ****ing anxious I HATE IT!!!! :crying: I AM pathetic, and I AM whingy and clingy and all sorts of bad things. :crying: I just want to die and get out of everyone's way!!

Sorry, /rant. :(

Hels, what makes you think the interview went badly? *cuddles* Oh, and the last pic you posted looks much better, easier to see what you look like. You're definitely pretty. :D

Nicole, good luck with the tongue piercing!! I'd be excited, I want my tongue pierced but with an internship & job looming I want to be able to talk in my interviews, lol. *hugs*

Mark, that mag sounds fabulous!! I love Flyleaf & Paramore, so reading interviews from the lead singers would be aweeeesome. But right now I'm on a Plumb kick, so reading an interview from her would be amazing as well. :) Good for you for trying to stay away from ruminating over SI/depression stuff... :) How's it going so far??

Crimson, Laura, Kahlia, & Hayley, cuddles to you too. Sorry if I missed anyone!! no offense intended.

I'm at my parents' house right now... anxious as all get out but oh well. I am having lunch with my bestie in about two hours so that will be nice, I hope. It's really lovely weather here, 70'F (21'C) and partly sunny. I'm wearing partly Goth clothes today and baggy guys' pants so I feel kinda cool, I dunno.

*huge sigh* My chest is so tight, it's hard to get a breath. I need to go distract myself somewhere... maybe I'll write in my r/v thread and then go read, I dunno. :-/

*hides*

thanks guys, i got it done :D it was painful, but not as bad as i thought it would be!! and april. i can talk ok, just a tiny bit of a lisp :/

*cuddles everyone*

It was crap because it was practically like yesterday's but he was telling me conflicting information & I couldn't hear him. He took me to a cafe to 'interview me' but he didn't...not really :S

I never felt so fat in my life. My friend who I saw is on a 'diet' because her family kept telling her she's fat. So if she's fat, then I most definitely am :| Jeez!!

*hugs jonikd* how r u doing?

*cuddles helen* im sry that ur interview didnt go so good. And you are definitely not fat. Dont let your friends diet trigger anything in you. It sounds like your friend has having a hard time with her family.. that does not mean that you are fat in comparison.

*hugs mark* Sry to hear that u SI-ed again. Stay strong. That magazine sounds pretty awesome, im obsessed with music... although most of mine is more.. metal.. i guess the word would be.. not like hardcore screamo (although i listen to that too..) But bands like breaking benjamin, shinedown, godsmack... okay sorry for the random music tangent lol.

*hugs april* I bet that you do look cool. Anxiety is awful, i'm sorry that you have so much problems with it... If it helps, your not alone in pretty much always feeling some sort of anxiety. But you are not pathetic or whiney.

*hugs nicole* wow a tongue piercing! I'd definitely be scared to get it done. Do you like it so far?

I broke last night... as i knew was going to happen.. SI-ed to deal.. Now I want to again. Im supposed to be studying for a quiz i have later today.. maybe study first and SI later. Maybe i'll be able to put it out of my head for a little bit.

*hugs Laura lots*

Oh I already have 'issues' with food/eating/weight anyway :( She knows that. She keeps telling me off and was like don't make me feel guilllty by not eating again because I'm not :'( But she doesn't need to lose weight, I do :'(

*hugs* you dont need to lose weight. From the pictures u've posted on here I can tell that you are NOT fat. Try to not let those kind of thoughts consume you. I know it can be hard when u already have issues with it, and i think it kind of sucks that she wanted you to eat while she was sitting there not eating... but dont fall into an ED.

To be honest, when she said it the first time, well mentioned the 'diet', we were eating a healthy lunch. Then when she mentioned it again, neither of us were eating as we were walking/drinking hot chocolate.

*hugs laura* its sore!! but i love it!! please try not to SI. x

Aww Helen. I'm sure it isn't as bad of an interview as it felt. And you aren't fat. *huggles*

Nicole~ Eat ice cream and drink carbonated things. I don't know why the carbonation helps really but it does (or at least did for me and my friend) and the ice cream makes it cold and numbish when it is achy. The lisp thing tends to go away as you get used to the bar in your mouth :) *hugs*

Laura~ not to nag but you cleaned and dressed the wound well right? *Cuddles* Stay safe hun.

*huggles April, Oliver, Mark, anyone I missed (sorry)*

*hugs* thanks for the advice, i have got ice cream lol. but i found it really hard to eat :/

lol it gets better. have you tried ice chips?

*cuddles Helen* I'm sorry the interview didn't go so great. your definetly not fat.

*cuddles Crimson* how are you doing?

*cuddles Laura* please try to stay safe and make sure you look after yourself ok, there anything to help distract you?

*cuddles Nicole* I'm glad you like your tongue piercing.

*cuddles April* I hope you managed to distract yourself and that your anxiety is better now.

*cuddles Mark* how are you doing?

*cuddles everyone*

I feel pretty ****, gender stuff has hit me and hit me badly, is seriously getting me down, and my mum keeps moaning because had my hair cut today and got it nice and short, which she isn't impressed over.

no i havent tried anything apart from soup and ice cream lol.

*cuddles oliver* thanks, its cool :D sorry you're having a hard time. :( *extra hugs*

* Hugs Helen * Going by the pics you've posted you are NOT fat , you look good. Don't let your friends familys opinions get to you (I hope that made sense).

I'll post later when I've the energy , I just feel flat with a a bunch of triggered urges to go with it *sigh*

GRRRR... My browser crashed right after I typed in my replys....
*sigh*
Ok let's start this again.
*cuddles Oliver* As long as you like your hair that's what counts... At least thats how I see it.
I'm doing ok so far this morning. So far so good :)

*pokes head in*
Anyone around?
*looks around*
Guess not...
*leaves a variety of chocolates and teas on the table and walks back out*

I'm around lol. Just hiding in a corner

*picks up a dark chocolate bar with caramel filling and drizzles it with white chocolate and grabs a chamomile tea with honey*
What're you up to today Laura?

wow that chocolate bar sounds good! *picks one up for myself*

Currently, I am studying for a quiz i have in a few hours... Wednesdays are kinda a boring day for me. O well.
How about u?

lol yeah I'm weird like that... but i like dark and white chocolate best together lol
i'm at work trying to get archiving done but not in a hurry for it to be done. Wednesdays are kinda boring for me too during the work day anyways.