Summary of how I feel mentally (Trigger Warning: ED mention)
 

My mental health has really worsened and it’s impacting on many facets of my life. Opportunities are disappearing and becoming limited. I used to have motivation and goals. Now I’m too tired, or simply not in the mindset for it and energy for things. I'm on leave from work. The times where my severe anxiety and my eating disorder aren’t engulfing my thoughts I do feel sad, bitter, hopeless and disappointed and I want to enjoy life again and experience things and achieve things but I feel as though I have to put those things off. I am not well enough now.

I’m doubting myself a lot. It’s hard to leave the house at all as my anxiety physically and mentally manifests into horrific panic attacks with the added result of feeling like I’m going to collapse. I have a psychologist to go to and i’ve only been prescribed valium which i’m reluctant to try.

I can’t justify eating much food, which is irrational but it’s a real issue for me.

I feel very trapped right now but I am determined to find my way back out of this pit i’m in.

I'm sorry things are so hard at the moment. Did something happen that led to things getting worse? This doesn't mean that you will be stuck with all these feelings forever, things change and it possible to get back to having motivation and goals etc. What makes you reluctant to try Valium? Could you speak to the person who prescribed it about your worries? How is psychology going? That can be hard and trigger difficult points but in the long run it can be good to work through things. Hold on to that determination to find a way out of this pit, be kind to yourself, use whatever support you have and ask for the things you need. Take care.