Sounds like you have a busy day April.
*Sends positive thoughts your friends way :) ZOOM! , across the Atlantic*

Aw thanks Mark. :) *huggles*

Yeah, it's gonna be really tiring. I think my friend, with whom I was planning on getting together, is just going to have to wait til next week, because I want tomorrow as a relax-day, where I can just sit and do nothing (or rather, something - WoW or reading or practicing cello ^_^ - just not driving a total of about 70 miles to see her... lol). So I will tell her that. Heh. :-/ She'll be fine with it... but I feel like I'm letting her down. :(

*cuddles all of the wardies*

You deserve a relax-day April , try not to feel guilty , you'll see your friend next week probably :)or maybe before then at church ?

*cuddles everybody*

Met with Sharron (My Nurse)
We started a CBT based lifestyle model.
It wasn't as bad asI thought it would be but there is plenty of work to do to improve my life :S Hmmm That sounds stupid :(
I want to S.I. now, my mind is thinking a LOT and I just want to block it out :S I just took a Diaz , hopefully that will help.

ON a Happy note Sharron told me that she is 15 weeks pregnant :) I'm happy for her , but, I am worried about who will deal with me when she is on maternity leave , I trust Sharron a LOT and it's taken years to build up that trust . Man! that sounds selfish of me .
Also we are about the same age and it just brings to the forefront of my mind that I'm no-where near having a family and I feel at almost 30 I should be . Damn it that sound selfish to. I am genuinly happy for her though :)

Im...not quite sure whats real...I keep looking at my phone thinking its been like a minute....but ive been sat in the same position...just staring for half an hour...
or is this just a dream? I dont know.
I need help.
Im not ill.

*Hugs Lex* :) I like your new avatar , did you draw it yourself ? Also do you prefer to be called Lex or Alex ? Sorry

*hugs everyone*
Went to Creative Writing this morning. My professor compares some of her assignments to therapy. I'm not sure wether to be excited or freaked out.
On the bright side, I have two short stories in the works! Oh oh oh, and for this class, we have to send stuff out to try to get published! Oh, I want to get published so so badly!
And... I still have my entire Brit Lit assignment to read. Gahhh... I can't get into it.

*Hugs Felicia* Way to go on your two short stories !! Good luck getting published :)

*hugs everyone then goes to sit in the corner*

Nicole !! Hey how have you been? :) *Hugs*


I just blew 9 days S.I. free *sigh* it was bound to happen sometime . Sharron my nurse suggested I look up my BMI (Body Mass Index) online so I did , 1st one said I was obese , 2nd one said I was obese ,3rd one said I was obese , I didn't do a 4th one I got the message already . I knew I was fat and worthless , sorry

*hugs mark* hey, ive been awful :( i went to go ape near aylesbury today which was fun but i was feeling majorly ill because i OD'd last night and then was feeling even more ill cause i was nervous and then they put the harness on me and it was a guy and he was like tightening it between my legs and it gave me flashbacks and that was it i just puked :( howre you?

*hugs Nicole* I'm sorry you're having a bad time
*hugs Mark* I'm sorry you SIed. If it helps, I don't think you're fat or worthless *extra hugs*

Anyone wanna go to my News Reporting class in about 40 minutes? I want a nap and a chance to unbury myself from the mass amounts of homework I have. Damn myself for deciding to take 17 hours when I knew I struggled enough taking 14.

*hugs Nicole* Sorry you've had a bad day :(

*hugs helen* thanks, im just so exhausted :( and really want to cut.

Please try not to cut sweetheart, maybe have an early night??

Oh Nicole I'm sorry you had flashbacks and were ill *Gentle hugs* and your OD , please be careful Nicole with them :(

*Hugs Felicia* Thankyou for being so kind :)

I'm tired and I want to sleep to get away from my mind which is not being kind to me tonight . I'm dissapointed in myself. I want to sleep so I took 2 Diaz and an extra olanzapine , which isn't an OD just in case you were worried . So good night Felicia and Nicole and all my other Wardies *Squishes*

Oh Hey Helen! :) I hope you are doing okay *Hugs*

Mark, you are NOT obese, love, okay? BMI is simply a measurement of weight to height. You could be a muscular guy and still get an "obese" BMI measurement. I'm muscular for a girl and I get similar BMI readings and you tell me that I'm not fat, sooo... :-/ Logic? Anyway, I hope that you sleep well... take care of yourself... and 9 days SI-free is WONDERFUL!!! :) *cuddles* Even though you "blew it" ... it's still a start. :)

Nicole, so sorry that you had flashbacks & got ill. *hugs* Flashbacks really really suck... :( (and so does getting ill)

Hels, how are you, sweetie? *cuddles*

Felicia, good luck on the publishing!! My Advanced Poetry Writing class final was to submit some of our best poems for publication... so yeah. :D It's quite exciting to think about. :) Or dream about. Whatever... even if it doesn't happen. *cuddles* I'm sorry you're having a rough time of it - oh, and I wanted to say that I liked your video too. :) (I know it's long past due, me saying that, but oops... lol.)

*hugs helen, mark and april* thanks guys, and helen-i think i am gonna get an early night-im exhausted