*hugs mark* sleep well

*hugs mark and laura*

night mark.

I'm mood swinging all over the shot, gone from depressed, to hyper, to suicidal, to doing somersaults on the floor andI feel really ill as i forgot to pick my meds up on friday, so i'm all over the place

*hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Laura*

*hugs Ian* how are you?

*Hugs Oliver back* Thanks :) im not bad, how are you?

I feel really ill, going to try sleep in a bit.

I'm really considering getting a hamster, I think a pet would be really good for me as it would give me some sense of responsibility and I adore animals and looking after them, just scared what my mum would say.

well i officially graduated uni today.

crazy life changes.

I just finished my last project for Uni....

It is mega crazy how life is changing! :ermm:

Congratulations to you both!

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Laura * Thats great news ! :)

*Hugs Rhi*

*Hugs Lindsay*

how is everyone

A bit depressed Louise , Sorry , How are you?

I'm sorry to hear that, Mark. *hugs*

How are you, Louise?

I was visiting my brother today and when I was waiting on the train on the way back I wanted to jump under it. I could feel myself moving towards it but I didn't move far. I hate feeling suicidal.

you have nothing be sorry for mark *hugs* I am sorry that you are feeling depressed.

*hugs lindsay* I am glad that you did not move any further. Did you have nice time with your brother?

I am really tired not sleeping well, due to nightmares.

*hugs Ian*
*hugs Oliver* pets are great. I've heard that Hamsters are very active at night. But they are very cute. We could switch moms for a while, my mom lets me have all the pets I want as long as I take responsibility and she doesn't have to do anything for the pets.
*hugs fallingstar Laura* gratz
*hugs rhi*
*hugs Lindsay*
*hugs Mark*
*hugs Louise*

My psych appointment is tomorrow. I dont want to go

Louise, how long have you been having nightmares? Do you know what might be causing them?

Laura, why don't you want to go to your appointment?

I did have a good time with my brother. It's always nice to see him. We went to see Insidious which wasn't so great.

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm glad you didn't move far hun

*Hugs Laura*

*hugs louise*
*hugs mark*

Because I'm really scared about it. I don't even know why it's scaring me so much, it's not like I could die there.

*Hugs Louise* I'm sorry your having nightmares :(

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Mark* Sorry your feeling deppressed

*hugs ian*

*hugs louise* is it always the same nightmare or are they different?

Hi everyone.

Not been posting here again. I'm always around though, and if any one wants me, just PM, or tell me to post lol.

Laura - good luck! Let us know how it goes.

*hugs for everyone*

I've got a to-do list as long as my arm, but you know when you're so stressed out you can't actually DO anything, and then you get more stressed, and then that makes it worse etc?

I have the doctors on Tuesday. I hate going to the doctors.

I finalised plans for my 21st today. I'm still dreading it though, because I have to be "happy", when all I really want to do is commit suicide. :-(

Louise - have you tried decoding your dreams? I have really bad nightmares, and sometimes decoding them helps you to figure out what your head's trying to tell you, so you stop dreaming things. x

hugs to everyone... im not posting cause nothings changed
no need to update.. i keep checking in and reading tho...
so im thinking of all ya'll.......

our husbands vehicle broke down so now he has to take mine
and so now i cant get to my therapy appts... ugh

*hugs*

Oh Oliver, I forgot to say, I've had three hamsters, so if you wanna ask anything, feel free.

*hugs everyone quickly*

*spies kahlia and glomps!*

Today is my last ever day in University... I'm handing in my final undergrad project at 2pm.

I haven't been to bed. I'm feeling, IDK. Upset I think.

too much sugar, too little sleep and nerves is making me shake.

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs MJ*

*Hugs Michelle*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Rhi* way to go you !

*Sigh* I dont know , I'm low again and I know I;ll have to wait 8 or more hours to speak with Felicia :/

hugs to you all!

Oliver, sorry you're feeling low. I'm sure you'll be brilliant, just try to take each moment as they come & not worry too much about what may happen. *hugs* x

How is everyone else?

I'm still racking my brain as to whether I should go into a crisis house for a month. I just don't want a repeat of last time, going there, coming out & bring back at square one, u know? It's just a horrible vicious circle! Any advice? X

*Hugs Mara*

*Hugs Rhi*

*Hugs Mark* I'm sorry your low Mark

*Hugs Mara*

:ermm: My room is being painted, so i decided to come on here. I'm very rarely on in the morning let alone awake.

*Hugs Ian* What colour/s is it being painted?

The Anxiety is unbearable :S I don't know what to do .:(

*hugs doikers* :( Hope you feel better soon

Its like a very light coffee colour. *Hugs Mark*

Cool Ian *Hugs*

*Hugs Mara* thanks :)

*hugs everyone*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*hugs all*

just came back from the psychotherapist. I made her laugh at one point. She asked me why I didn't tell anyone that I self harm. I replied 'why should I?" that made her laugh.
I think she got the impression that I want to stop cutting, but I really don't want to stop. hmm...

she wants me to take paroxetin (dunno if it's the same spelling in english) does anyone here know what it does? she just said that it will take some of the 'pressure to cut' or something like that.

Laura this is what I found googleing it .....

Paroxetine (also known by the trade names Aropax, Paxil, Seroxat) is an SSRI antidepressant. Marketing of the drug began in 1992 by the pharmaceutical company SmithKline Beecham, now GlaxoSmithKline. Paroxetine is used to treat major depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety, and generalized anxiety disorder[1] in adult outpatients.

I'm on an SNRI so they are similar.

thanks mark *hugs*
I'm not sure if I'm going to take it. But I'll get it from the pharmacy, so if I decide to take it I already have it. Does that make sense?

Yes that makes sense Laura :)

*hugs all*

*Hugs Oliver*

*hugs everyone*

Laura - good on you for making your appointment! :thumbup:

Mark - do you take anything for anxiety?

Lindsay - how are you feeling?

Oliver - how are you feeling?

I have the doctors tomorrow. I really hate going to the doctors and I always have to go by myself because none of my friends live round here, and I can't talk in front of my family.

*hugs oliver*
*hugs mark*
*hugs MJ* it's the same for me with doctors. I'm always scared that my GP could see my scars/cuts. He doesn't know anything.

I take Diaz, Buspirone for anxiety and Duloxetine forAnxiety / Depression MJ
*Hugs*
*Hugs Laura*

*hugs mark*

I'm really struggling to make a desicion. I have to deside if I take the meds or not. There are too many cons

I don't understand why doctors just give people more and more meds.

nor do i but if you find out, let me know?

*hugs everyone*

time to enter my nightmare. good old sleep. gnyt guys x