I'm claustraphobic today. So I think I'll sit outside in the corridor and guard so that everyone else is safer.

You okay Susan and mors certa (sorry, dunno your name)?
I'm doing better than I was last night.

*rubs eyes and comes out from behind pot plant* :blink:

Hey everyone?! *shouts that loudly as lots of you seem to be hiding inside cupboards and holes*

Hope people are having/had pleasent dreams (those of you who are sleeping atm and those of you currently awake!)

I actually slept well and feeling ok today :-D

Glad that your feeling a bit better zowie *snuggles*

Oh gosh, my alarms just gone off, didn't realise the time, time for my 3rd nap of the day, lol!

I'm ok. I just get claustraphobic sometimes. I used to be phobic about the dark too.

I'm restless and only have a small mending job to do, so i'll be doing a lot of hand work this week.

*rubs eyes* oh nap over....how I wish I could now have a coffee...

Glad you're ok Susan. Is there anything we can do to help when you feel claustraphobic? The RYL blanket sounds a fab idea that you're contributing to. I wish I was creative in that way.....

*goes out to smoking shelter*

I am so bad :p

Went to sleep at 6am and slept until 3pm =\

For those of you that care about me and my whereabouts, I will be offline for several weeks starting on Wednesday. I have contacted my case manager at the insurance company and advised her that I need to be an inpatient somewhere that will actually treat me, rather than locking me in a room. I also advised her that I cannot go anywhere until Wednesday morning, as I am the only caregiver for the kids until then. Final part that I advised her of is the fact that I have every intention of killing myself on Thursday, I have mailed the things I need to accomplish this so that they will arrive on Thursday. If I am available to receive them, then I will use them. She seemed to be agreeable to the concept of getting me into a facility on Wednesday morning. We shall see, at this point in time, either solution works for me.

There is 0.01% of me that wants to get help, the rest wants Thursday to arrive, so the case manager is trying to see to it that the 1/100% gets its way rather than the 99.99%

Please do not waste your hugs or tears on me, either direction the end of this madness is near, and I am content that I have done what I am supposed to do. As a human being, I am supposed to make the effort to live, and I have done so. The rest, as they say, is out of my hands.

Please take care of yourselves, I am operating on the assumption that I will be an inpatient on Wednesday, and that it will be around 2 weeks of inpatient therapy after I arrive. Could be more, could be less.

I will not have any access to any electronic devices once I go in, so will not be able to communicate.

I am awaiting the case managers response, and will let you know. I know that I tried this inpatient thing before at a holding facility, told her I would not do that again, and I identified the only facility within 100 miles that offers what I need.

Again, don't waste your time on this, probably wasted enough reading this post. Thank you for helping me so much over the past few months, I hope that I have provided more comfort than pain, more support than drag.

*hugs Jeff*

We're not wasting anything on you, we give hugs etc because yoju deserve them and because we're so caring xx

I hope all goes well hun x

*Group hug*

Skip the wednesday crap, going now. Goodbye, will contact when I get out, if I get out.

Jeff I've PM'd you, was long waffle that didn't want to block up the ward with. I hope you get a chance to read it before you go. Good luck with the treatment. *snuggles*

*is sad that jeff is going :crying:but pleased that he's getting treatment :thumbup: *

*goes outside to smoking shelter to have BIG fag and long hard think*

*support for jeff*

*group hug*

We'll miss you Jeff

*says a prayer for her bro*
*weeps*

My unemployment situation is starting to wear. My husband made a rude comment about it this morning. I don't know what to do about it.

*sobs*

*hugs Susan*

Thanks Helen.
I am crying because I am so very worried about Jeff. When he was going in, I was at the bead store getting a charm for my bracelet so I can remember to pray for him while he's gone inpatient. He really likes trains and train museums and so do I, so I got a charm that is a 1800's type locomotive.

*clings to everyone and weeps*

It's okay to be worried hun. But you know this will help him, well I hope it does :) You'll have us to lean on.

I do miss Emma :( I feel like I haven't spoken to her in ages it's werid.

People have diisapeeared..

Amanda? Hana? Emma? Emma? Ally? Alexx? Jem? Jess?

How you guys doing?

This is an automated message: Jess is away right now and not available to answer calls. She is busy self-destructing. Thank you and have a nice day.

Jessssssssss!

This is an automated message: Jess is away right now and not available to answer calls. She is busy self-destructing. Thank you and have a nice day.

I know it is for the best. I just have a big soft heart and that is okay.
I am going to need you. For me, i'm going to be restless, kinda squirrely, for the next few days, till the 27th. Then it is, i hope and god willing, PARTY!

Here, and not happy about it :crying:
*hunts for the tissues* I'm sorry I missed you Jeff and that you're in such a bad place at the moment... I love you*massive hugs*
*heads to her linen closet with the tissues*

*hugs ally*
Jeff is taking care of himself.
And I may be a short stuff, but my shoulders are broad and I have a big heart. I can't take his place. I'll just be me and help however I can though.

*hugs all*

Blondie-mum, you're great just as you are :-D
*cuddles up to her RYL-mum with a blanket and her stuffed lamb*

Maybe I'd be better dead.
I don't know though.
What on earth do I want?

*hugs you* i dont know what i can say to help you but i'm here if you want to talk or need a cuddle or anything *offers cuddles*

*takes cuddles and gives you some aswell*

It's odd I feel this way.
Because I dont feel sucidical.
Even though I'm thinking about it.
As in doing it.
*shrugs*

I've upset Jess.
Bad Hells.

I would REALLY love to see my best friend right now.
I haven't heard from her for 18 days or so.
It's real hard not having her in this country.

When am I gonna be ok again?
Never probably

*gives hugs to everyone who wants and needs them*

I really want to sit and cry, and to hurt myself so badly that I never recover.

I'd like to ask for hugs if anyone has any to spare. And possibly a nice shoulder to cry on.

Kahlia

*sits and rocks in the corner* can someone just shoot me or something? I don't want to do this anymore. I'm not sure I can :(

*sits with emma*
hello my dear.
i don't know if i can do this anymore either. shall we be uncertain together?

Nobody is going to shoot you Em, we all love you too much. *offers hugs*

*offers hugs* You BOTH can do this :thumbup:

* offers hugs to Pomegranate and effervescence *

I know I'm not in here as often as I would like and probably should be .... I'm sorry.

* curls up in a corner and pulls several layers of blankets over her head *

I managed to dislocate a bone in my foot, which may be fractured, however, because it's a foot we won't find out for possibly another week. Between the pain in my foot and my messed up head I just don't know what to do. I want to hide away from the world. I want to destroy myself, and I'm scared that I will actually go ahead and do it. Is there a way out other than what is in my head ??

* cuddles up to a teddybear *

I had to end a friendship yesterday. I wasn't helping and it was messing me up, totally upsetting me.

I have the locomotive charm to look at so I remember to pray for my Bro, Jeff. He is in my thoughts and prayers all the time right now.

*cuddles Ally*

Kahlia, come over and sit with Ally and me? I love to cuddle people and I need the cuddles myself.

*hugs everyone*

*retreats to a corner to attempt to sleep*

A year is too long, got to be happy...can I wait?

**cuddles everyone**

How can I go from thinking about death to giggling pretty hard in a matter of minutes..

Tried having a nap but just had a nightmare so now I'm awake and thinking about self-destruction.

*huggles Zowie*

1singlemonoisolatedalone

*hides in cupboard*
stupid stupid stupid!!!

*cuddles Marc, Helen, Sophie, Zowie*
*leaves a box of super soft hand crocheted or hand sewn cuddles for anyone who wants or needs them*
*prays for her Bro*

*Hangs out doing hand work*

parents suck. end of.

This is NOT normal.

It should have killed me there and then.
Would save me the effort of having to freaking try again.
(Y)

would anyone like some hugs?

I would love a hug.

*huggles and cuddles lots*

Would adore to be wrapped in hugs.