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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

englishgirl23 23-03-2009 10:55 PM

one of my best friends is setting me up for a fall it hurts so bad i just want to make the pain stop i dont know what to do ne more i wonder if its me thinking stuff thats not real but it feels real, i need to make it stop! i want to go and find out but im to scared cos if im right then my life will be over but i cant cope i want it all to stop please!

MammaMia 23-03-2009 11:49 PM

Jaddddddde *clings*

You're welcome to never leave the psych ward ;)

wildly insane 24-03-2009 01:13 AM

*hugs Helen* sorry to hear you aren't doing too well, I know what it's like to want to go on a destructive bender, but I hope you don't.
*hugs Englishgirl23* I hope it's not as bad as you think
*hugs Jade* stay forever, but you can win this
*hugs Nikki* good for you, I think the world should give us all a break, that sucks
*hugs SteelMaiden* I hope you feel better soon
*hugs Arwen* I hope you get to sleep, and please stay safe
*hugs Dayna**squidges* hope you resist the urges
*hugs silently crying* stay strong, you can do it
*hugs MaryAnne**hugs Michaella**hugs AuburnShadow**hugs FallenShadow**hugs Kat**hugs Kahlia**hugs Mouse**hugs Snuffles**hugs Secrets**hugs Shell* I really do hope I haven't forgotten anyone but if I have I apologise sincerely and offer an even bigger hug.

I have a sore throat, I want to cry and I want to hurt :(

Steel Maiden 24-03-2009 03:09 PM

Thanks Wildlyinsane and MammaMia.

I am shivering even though I'm wearing a sweatshirt. These withdrawal symptoms are driving me crazy. My extremities have turned to ice.

The Mindreaders and Voices want me to Kill my Mum. The bad thing is is that I've tried before. Twice my Mum had to call the police to get me handcuffed =[.

xXMessedUpXx 24-03-2009 03:11 PM

i want someone to lock me away or kill me. either will do. i can't do this anymore.

zowie 24-03-2009 04:36 PM

I'm alone in the house, and the spies are outside. I'm so scared.
I'm thinking about going out there and stabbing them all, but I can't tell who's innocent and who's a spy. And I'm also scared that they'll catch me if I go outside.
****.

Eclectica 24-03-2009 04:43 PM

...

They broke the truth to me.

Told me what I am. Worthless, stupid, a whore, pathetic, selfish, I shouldn't talk, I should be alone, nobody likes me.

shieldworld 24-03-2009 06:24 PM

-checks in-

Exams start in five weeks time. I'm not going to survive this. I can't even check into a real ward because it'll take me away from the exams and I have to sit them. I need to sit them because if I don't I'll be a failure.

Devil Girl 24-03-2009 06:46 PM

they are wanting me to jump, they noise is so loud again

Auburn Shadow 24-03-2009 07:40 PM

*hugs everyone*
Sorry it's not more. Really am.

Want to OD still. Still there, still fighting it every single day. OD or go down to Tesco and buy a few cans of beer and get drunk. Both will hurt Jamie. I promised him I wouldn't hurt him. I can't hurt him, so I can't OD, I can't get drunk again. I won't let myself cut, so I guess I'm just stuck feeling like this for a while.
Can't tell Jamie about it, and I didn't admit how bad it is to my counsellors earlier. ****ed up, much? I want to stop feeling like this, and yet I'm hiding it from the very people who want to help.
On top of that I've got to go back to the doctors on Thursday for a blood test to see if I've got hyperthyroid. Don't think I can do this. Nothing more going wrong. Nothing more. I want to just self-destruct.

shieldworld 24-03-2009 07:41 PM

Devil, who is? What noise is it? Can you not put some music on to drown them out?

shieldworld 24-03-2009 07:43 PM

Auburn, can you not tell Jamie? I'm sure he'd rather you talked to him than suffered in silence.
Why are you hiding it?

Auburn Shadow 24-03-2009 07:47 PM

He thinks I'm doing great. I tried talking to him a while back, when I was just triggered, and he kept wanting to know why, and the thing is, I don't know how to explain to him that I want to do this stuff, but I don't know why.
Yeah, he sort of gets the OD stuff, because he's been there before, but me even thinking about it hurts him, and I can't hurt him by even admitting I'm thinking about it.
It's kind of confusing. I love him, I want to be with him forever, but I still want to OD right now...

Michaella 24-03-2009 08:41 PM

hey everyone, thought id check in again today since yesterday i didnt, i ended up just walking around for a long while then couldnt bring my self to return home so i just kept walking for the night, i still havent slept yet but i need to soon, its been 6 days since i last SH'ed, i keep going from extreams at the moment.

*hugs anyone that wants or needs hugs. then,*
*rocks softly as she pulls a blanket around her to keep warm*

Damnation. 24-03-2009 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katrica (Post 1508000)
...

They broke the truth to me.

Told me what I am. Worthless, stupid, a whore, pathetic, selfish, I shouldn't talk, I should be alone, nobody likes me.

BULLSHIT.

You are liked. You are loved. I promise you <3

Kahlia1981 24-03-2009 09:45 PM

*hugs all*

Damnation. 24-03-2009 11:27 PM

Drunk, unsafe. amd about to go void. Very spacey. Eyes won't focusd/ And I want to SI.

WHAT A LOVELY COMVBINTION LOL.

wildly insane 25-03-2009 12:28 AM

*hugs everyone* sorry to hear that so many of you are feeling **** and would love to make everyone feel better but I can't. Sorry, pretty useless really but I mean well and I hope you all have the strength to fight and get better because you are worth it, whatever you believe. Personally I feel like a useless piece of **** who doesnt deserve to be here never mind not wanting to be here, failed again, I will always be a failure, despite which I've even failed to cut myself even though I really want to, ugh.

Eclectica 25-03-2009 12:35 AM

NO.

Don't you DARE.

I don't want more scars.

MammaMia 25-03-2009 01:17 AM

I FINALLY have a gp appointment tomorrow.
Needed one since NOVEMBER because *he* wants to see me after my A&E visit (od) and I need to see him because of needing medical evidence to get mental health mentor at uni/so they know what I'm like. Will he even give it seeing as I'm not diganoised with anything. I so know he's going to ask me how I am. How long its been since my last self harm/od/suicide attempt. But he'll find out about my plans if I'm not careful and he really really really can't. I swear man, if he doesnt give me what I'm asking for, I'll NEVER ask for his help ever again. Am I wasting my time doing this anyway? As I'll likely be dead this time next month...


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