thnx for hot choc
need it,
feeling safe with people all around, ppl who understand a bit
slowly unravelling

i dunno if i can go back i really dont im so sorry-im beyond help
xxx

*sits in the corner with head down and a cuddly penguin*

I don't want to do it... nope I don't wanna...

In my oh so friggin awedsome wisdom- I AM GETTING DRUNK. WHY? because I CAN and it makes me feel fine aboutr being out of control. Bottle number 2 of wine coming a,long nicely. I should seriously be in onde of these wards :crying:

*sitting in corner wide-eyed and anxious*
i don't know what to do - too much going on in life and i can't fall apart
what if others find out i can't cope

okay a lil prob need help with right here it goes i am trying to get bck with my ex boyfriend but theres this guy i like and i think he likes me but i really really wanna get bck with my ex boyfriend.

grr why is my life so god damn complicated lol i need some help desperatly because its totally confused the **** ouotta me

This is me, wandering in, not taking care of anyone else (sorry :-( ) and feeling like ****. F**king A I just wish I could bring myself to end it all...

Seriously considering an OD... And to be honest... I wouldn't care if I accidently took too much and didn't wake up :-(
*curls up in her corner and cries*

hugs to all=not in good way very much on the way to drunkenness
xxxxxxx
selfdestruct button is ushed

*shuffles back...* i've been away too long...pretending i could cope....
bull....
*hides in corner* i hope its ok to be here

ally, you take as much time as you need for yourself. i'll lok after you for now, will take my mind off me for a while.
*hugs you*
am also on my way to drunkenness
just threw 16 days away in a fit of self pity

Checking out til Monday, I'm on holiday :D :D :D :D

Take care guys, I love you all & I'll be back on Monday with lots of stories perhaps <3

Feel as if There is no were else to turn. My depression is once again winning. I feel as if maybe this is for attention and is not an imblance , Shouldn't I have been fixed by now. Anti-depressants, Support groups, Consllours, Doctors, Impatcient, Hosptail emercency room, Nothing has worked ...I wanna give up sooo BAD :'(

*moves over in the corner to make room for nikki*
i feel the same, i think we safe here for now
*big hugs*

I don't want to be me anymore. I need sleep but instead I am going to end up SIing and getting up early for A+E. :crying::crying::crying:

Just make it stop. Uni starts on Monday & I have no idea what I'm doing or even if I care. Do I care? About anything? I just want to f**king kill myself. Parental units telling me I'm calmer when all I want to do is smash their heads against brick walls. Been throwing things at work colleagues who won't do their own frigging jobs. Ah I'm too short for this sh*t. Thank god I'm not going back there for two weeks.

*cuddles up under blankie and sucks her thumb while crying*

*hugs Carole, Emma and anyone else that needs it. Wanders to the kitchen and makes a tray of tea (good and strong), coffee, cocoa and biscuits and brings it back out to share*

Feeling a bit better I think. Second overdose that's done anything... Anyone else felt a bit drunk after one :pinch:... Talking about Thursday nights btw haven't taken one since.

SO tired though...

*wanders back to her corner and curls up with blanket and stuffed lamb for a nap*

*gives Ally a big warm hug*
I'm sorry you've been so low lately. Just keep plodding on hun, that's what we all have to do I guess, just keep plodding on.

But then again, I'm wallowing in my own filth (my rooms a **** sty, i havent washed for a while and ive been living off of alcohol and soup (or something just as inadequate)) so my advice is worth **** all.

Oh Carole hunni
*big, warm hug*
I don't know what to say sweetie... Please take care sweetie, I'm sorry you've been so low.

Much love to you sweetie

PM/email me anytime

*hugs Carole and Alyssa*
look after yourselves, ladies
*passes around fuzzy blankets and cake because i really really want cake right now*

*hugs all and leaves a few warm teddy bears behind*

Look after urself ppl..i'm thinking about u all :-P

I'm back.

I feel sooooooooooo ill =[

aww Helen i hope you feel better soon

*snatches up a teddy bear and clutches it*

i'm scared of myself

wb Helen...hope ur feeling a bit better there!!

Callie....*hugs* look after urself there and stay safe :-)

I feel like **** atm :-( i got a cold probably ugh...stupid cold

*gives everyone hugs*

I'm so annoyed right now, my mum is doing my head in, again!

*hugs helen*

That's no good... poor u :-(

I shall retract that statement, we're all good again :)

Hopefully shall stay like this for ages, had FAR too many arguments lately :(

My birthday on friday :\ :| How am I gonna be 18????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*steals a teddy and curls up in the corner to sleep*

Glad you sorted things out with your mum Helen, *hugs to anyone that needs them*

I need hugs haha.

I'm scared about tonight, it'll be fine but yeah...

eep


*hugs Helen and Emma*
*hope you feel better Jeremy*

Tonight went fine, confessed a whole bunch of stuff to yr12 girls, deary me....but least they were kind :]

I'm sooooo tired but must do my Psychology work or fall even further behind =[

thanks for the hugs Callie :)

Glad it went ok Helen, talking can be good and sometimes the most unlikely people are the most helpful! Don't work to hard m'dear and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! Love ya xx

I am exhausted (still) lol so shall be returning to my corner to sleep now xx

*hugs to all*

My head hurts... I've had a headache since the OD I took Thursday night last week... Not sure it's connected but... I wish it would go away.

*cuddles underneath her blanket clutching her stuffed lamb*

:crying: not feeling too safe tonight...can I check in ?

Anytime Small_Black_Flower

Ahhh, i'm feeling better today yay...not as ill as i thought i'll will be..anyway, thx's for the msgs of support ppl...hope u all r well too xxx

tra la la la la
sitting at the front desk at my new temp placement for the next couple of weeks
you know, i can't STAND the idea of expectations, that i have to get up every morning and come here and be happy. i get really nervous that i will screw up or something, that i don't have the freedom to take too many tablets and sleep through the morning.
gah
i am such a freak

*sits in a corner and passes out cake because i still want cake*
*no, wait, passes out a huge tub of chocolate frosting. i want frosting so bad.*

Talking is good and yeah I agree...I'm still bloody working :( I didn't go into college today, I feel really bad about it. Grr grr! I'm just really happy though because I'm talking to someone I've not spoken to properly in like nearly a whole year!!!!!!!!! :hop: Had I been at college....I wouldn't been able to do so heeh :wow: But my attedence over a 3 week peroid will be dragged down again. :mad:

aww Helen it's okay
you are allowed a Mental Health day or two, that's more important than your attendance
have some frosting, or not frosting i don't know whatever it must be that time of the month or something because i am obsessed with sweets, and it will all seem better in a bit

:-( I didnt manage to get to college either feel bad about it, but just didnt feel up to it

hope you are all ok take care
x.x.x

Hehe yeah. I had loads of time off last term, well feels like it cus I couldn't be bothered. So far this term I've had 3 days off, two due to sickness. I couldn't face going in today knowing I was so behind....well that's after I woke up dead late :(

*hugs* I know the feeling xxx

I'd like to check in, but can't update until about Friday morning I'm afraid, or possibly tomorrow, but very much doubt it. :(
Thanks

hi SnowBerrySnuffles
the more the merrier
do you like frosting?
*passes out frosting*
frosting? anyone?


*hands out courage and encouragement to Helen*
you can catch up honey, now that you are all rested up!

*makes a good, strong pot of tea to cut the sweet of the frosting, passes around the pot and takes some frosting*

Mmm if only this were real... I think I'd prefer to be in a psych ward drinking tea and eating frosting with you all than trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me and still trying to function :crying:

*retreats to her corner, wraps her arms around her knees and stares vacantly into space*

Thank you sweetie, well I've done some of it...just really hate this. :-(

Mehhhh!

My mouth feels all funny *cries*

*wants to hug Emma*

*hugs everyone*

I just realised....that I've been doing so well....

Why do I feel like I want everything to get wrecked again soon :\ :\ :\

Is it because I took today off?

sorry to sound silly *embaressed* but what is frosting?!

well done Helen! yay!!
did you eat too much frosting? sometimes that makes my mouth funny from all the sugar making it feel raw. have some tea. tea fixes everything.

*takes some tea from Alyssa and passes it about*

so, yeah, i am going to take up permanent residence here because apparently i have been rejected by the real psych hospital.
my self esteem is so damaged right now.
this is the end of the line, right? when the therapists reject you, what's left?

*hoards frosting maniacally and hopes there is some sort of therapeutic quality to a sugar high*

*hugs*

I know how you feel, I know Ive been doing well but now feel college will go downhill cos missed today.

hope your ok? tis ok to miss one day!!..tis probably better if you werent up to it, you wouldnt have felt good and would have probably made you feel worse. *more hugs* xxx

OH MY GOSH YOU DONT KNOW WHAT FROSTING IS??
you poor soul
you poor neglected soul

frosting is like the yummiest thing ever
you're in the UK, yeah?
i wonder if there is a different name for it there
frosting is the stuff that you put on a cake or cupcake or maybe even cookies
it's mostly sugar and water or sugar and butter or something like that
but there's buttercream frosting, and royal frosting, and creamcheese frosting, and chocolate frosting, or strawberry flavored. and sometimes you can use ganache or creme fraiche.
they sell it in tubs here in the USA at the grocery store for lazy freaks and you can just eat it out of the container and gorge yourself as necessary and eat your problems.
it's lovely.
try it some time.

Ooo i think is called Icing over here (would make sense!)

Yum!