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*Hugs Mark* Please try and look after the SI you have already done and try to resist the other urges. I know it's hard, but we all care about you.
*Hugs Laura* I'm sorry you're not having the best time right now. We're all here for you if you need us. *Hugs Crimson* How are you? As for me, it's complicated. I don't feel particuarly bad right now, but...well, it doesn't matter. |
Thanks Laura , I wasn't thinking Logically , my mind is racing unpleasant thoughts . I certainly don't want to have to have it checked out :S . I'll just have to "Deal" with the urges over the weekend , you are right I've done it before I can do it again . Sorry to be such a pain. Sleep is a good one but I'll have to leave that until 9pm I guess maybe a bit earlier , sleep helps , I might put on some music later :)
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*Hugs Lia* Do you want to talk ? If its bothering you it matters .
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*hugs mark* don't worry about it at all. Hope that I was able to help some. Believe me, i understand that its hard to think logically when you mind is racing and repeating bad things.
*hugs lia* It does matter how you are feeling. I'm glad that you arent feeling particularly bad though. |
Are you okay Laura ? You said life is overwhelming , do you want to talk?
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It's OK guys. Thanks but I'm alright, there's too much, I wouldn't know where to start.
Yes Mark, you can :) You can always talk to us if you like Laura. |
April ,April ,April How are you ? *spots and hugs*
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I'm so triggered for no reason.
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*Hugs Lia tight until she no longer feels triggered* I hate that feeling :(
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Thanks Mark. I promised myself if someone acknowledged me within the next 3 posts, I wouldn't cut.
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*hugs lia* i especially hate when i feel triggered and cant find a reason for it. :-/ Stay strong, try to do something distracting.
*hugs mark* thanks for the offer to talk both of you... but i can't. Too worried about how it would affect other people if i did talk. Bad things. i'm even too worried to put it in my r/v so.. yea.. i should just keep my mouth shut. |
Oh :) Do you find that tool useful?
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You talking to me Mark?
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Yes , sorry I think I duel posted with Laura . Yes I was talking to you Lia
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Yes actually. It means I can't now even if I want to. Which I do. Feel good :)
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:) I'm glad it's working for you , Glad you're safe for tonight Lia:)
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Forget cut. I just don't want to do this anymore full stop. I can't because one day I am going to fail. I want to leave them before they leave me. I want out now. I don't know what I feel anymore. All I know is that two options seem like great ideas now.
Option 1: taking all 82 pills in my pot. Option 2: run and never look back. |
Sorry Mark, I've just totally rained on your parade.
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Don't worry about it Lia . Seriously are those pills you have perscribed meds? , if so put them back in the cupboard , if they are just plls you bought throw them away if you can (Toilet), You could do serious damage taking 82 of anything , Please please please either way get those pills away from you right now
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I cant get the thoughts of killing myself out of my mind the devil isn't helping
am not safe |
*Hugs Ryuu* Can you try to distract yourself Ryuu? Maybe an earlyish night would help , You're in the Uk right , well it's gone 9pm , totally reasonable time to go to bed . Thats what I'm doing soon.
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No, they're just pills I've picked up here and there. I don't take perscribed. I haven't been diagnosed with anything.
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Oh okay Lia , Pleeeease Get rid of them , I would hate for anything to happen to you*Hugs*
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Hugs lia tightly don't do anything stuiped. Argh!!! Yeah that was so going to happen tonight, on top of what I had going on allready. Muppets hahahaha
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*Hugs Jill* Are you okay?
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Lia?.
EDIT:- Lia I hope you decided to throw those pills away where you cannot get to them again or at least to put them back in their drawer/cupboard wherever , If you think you may have taken too many call 999 right now , don't bother to read the rest of this post , call an ambulance . I am always here to talk to you . PM me if you need to and I will try and be helpful , I can't promise a instant reply but I will reply :) *Hugs and hopes you're safe* |
Not sure I, hahahahahahahahahaha. =\
lia are you okay and safe ? fu$k i cant do this, really cant do this its way to much sorry. curls up |
*wishes i could help every single person in here* :(
<3 i hate feeling triggered with no ****ing reason... especially when other people actually HAVE reasons and they're staying strong. pathetic *sigh* oh and i get to research ed's for class... goody :/ wannaresearchonbadsites :/ |
*Hugs Jill*
*Hugs Heather* Please stay safe . |
Am starting to make plans to end my life the devil wants this i want this
i have to write something to my husband but am unsure what to say what do you write in these sorts of things i need to find the words because its important that i explain by am doing this so he understands the reasons |
:/ take care ryuu. you dont need to make those plans, is there anyone offline you can talk to? <3
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hmm am trying mark. hows you?
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there is no one i can talk to about it my cpn will just say i need to disregard the thoughts but its more than just thoughts now it actions things i need to do
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*Hugs Ryuu* You DON'T have to make these plans , you are stronger than this , you CAN make it through this :)
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I'm coping , I get to see my Friend tomorrow so am PSYCHED about that , I haven't seen her in like 7 or 8 weeks I finally get to give her her birthday presants from the 10th September:)
I'm worried about Lia ......... |
I'm so out of it today - new medication. I feel strange
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*hugs heather* Sorry I missed you on facebook last night, i was at work... Hope you are okay. Message me if you need to hun.
*hugs mark* i'm glad that you are coping and going to see your friend tomorrow! thats exciting! *hugs RYUU* I agree with mark, you can do this. You are such a strong person. Don't listen to them, they are not right. *hugs sarah* sorry that your new meds are making your feel out of it. Side effects should wear off over time though. if they don't get too bad, try to stick with them for a little bit. *hugs lia* i spyed you on this thread a little bit ago... I hope you are okay hun. You didn't seem okay when you last posted. We are here for you. *wonders where everyone else is* April? Helen (i know you are at your friends.)? Oliver? Taz? Nicole? Felicia? Anybody? I miss you all. |
*hugs everyone*
I got back today from my trip with the Prince's Trust. It was really good. I got to do things like abseiling and rafting. I didn't want to come home to the same old depressing ****. |
*hugs lindsay* im glad that you had a good time! Try not to think about it as coming home to the same old depressing ****. Try to take some of that energy you have from the trip and channel it into life at home. Do little things are are nice for yourself.
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i agree with laura :)
how're you dear? |
*Hugs Lindsay* It's good you had a great time with the princes trust , like Laura said, try and focus your positive energy into here and now :)
*Hugs Laura* How are you ? I'm releived you spotted Lia , thankyou for letting us know , was worried . *Hugs Heather* *Hugs Sarah* what new meds are you on? I hope the side effects wear off for you soon . |
*hugs Mark* Citalopram, just feel really funny. :(
*hugs Heather* *hugs Laura* *hugs Lindsay* *hugs RYUU* *hugs Lia* Sorry my individuals suck, I'm not with it at all :p |
I'm alive. Just so you know.
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*Hugs Sarah*
*Hugs Lia*you concerned me , are you okay? what happened to your pills? throw them away please :S |
Well they aren't inside me. But I'm sorry Mark, I don't know if they can. I like the security they bring, knowing I can end it any time I like...I'm scared though. I feel better than I did last night, but one of my best friends OD'd last night, and I could have done something. I'm so worried about her.
*Hugs everyone* |
Lia , I totally understand having the feeling of security your pills , I have the same thing with my blades . Please take good care of yourself :) I'm sorry to hear about your friend , how is she ?
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oh and by the by I'm at my parents , using my parents laptop so maybe more sporadic in here but will try to keep up :)
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Tell you what though Mark, since they're all painkillers I'll offer then out every time someone so much as mentions a pain and they'll soon be gone ;)
She's alright thanks. I'm worried about her, but she's out of hospital and on andi ds. |
*Hugs Lia* That sounds like a good idea Lia .
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>.< sooo 10 minutes before class one of the people came into the computer lab and asked me if i was studying- i asked why cuz thought there was no reason... exam today >.> thank **** it was intro to psych so i bs'ed my way through it, but def didnt get an a 'less she curves it again =\
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