hehe. =] like teddy. mineminemine

*holds felicia* shh, its ok to be scared sweetheart <3

*comes in and hides under bed*

sorry I wasn't on for so long.

*Hugs Laura* Did you have a good time in Blighty?

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Felicia* <3

*Hugs Tiff*

*Hugs Heather* I don't think your teddy is big enough :P

*Hugs Laura*

*hugs Mark* how are you?

*hugs Laura*

*hugs Heather* cute teddy :)

Last day with my mum and sister today :( sorry *curls up and hides*

7 weeks free today.............I SO want to **** up but I don't but I do ........ ACK!

*comes out of hiding place to hug Mark* 7 weeks is amazing :) you can keep going, I believe in you.

*cursl up again* got really bad urges to OD. I can when I get home tonight

Please dont OD Oliver , is there anyone that you can call and talk about this with like a crisis line or something ?

I could call the samaritans, but I really want to just OD. just have to get this train journey out of the way then I can.
sorry *hides*

*Hugs Oliver* Thanks :)

*Waves to Ella* How are you ?

* waves at everyone * Am good ...waiting for my husband to get back from the shop with my monster.

Oliver i think you should call the Samaritans please try and seek help you need and deserve

*waves to Ella* I'll try to, just don't like talking on the phone or calling people for help.

I understand, i dont like talking on the phone myself and seeking help.
Keep talking here and try and keep distracted.

I'll be here for another 15 mins but then I'm off cos I've got to get the train back to Manchester, so I won't be back on here until this evening, around 7.30, but I'll try to come back on instead of ODing

Please take care of yourself and ill see you when you come online again

*hugs oliver* Please look after yourself, and please try to come on line and talk to us instead of OD'ing though I know it easier said than done.

*hugs Ella*

*Hugs Louise* How are you hun?

I went to my non-excistant accuupuncture session , was just leaving after grabbing some water and heard a voice calling me and it was Sharron my worker who is on Maturnity leave calling me , so we walked and talked a bit , I'm just happy to have caught her and her infant son Willem , she is like my big sister , I haven't seen up until today this year , YEY :D

blates teddy isnt big enuff >.>
*cuddles everyone*

*curls up alone*

*Squashes Laura* How is it to be home?

*hugs Louise, Mark, Heather and Laura* *waves at Ella*

I'm home now, still want to OD, but trying to keep myself distracted. I had an awful moment earlier, my teddy had fallen out of my bag on the way back from the station so I had to go back and look for him, found him on the edge of the road poor thing, but I found him which is good, have had him since birth

Am so glad you got your teddy back ...Sorry you are still feeling the same with wanting to OD.
We can talk here instead of you doing that ....i have to go for a bath in half an hour but ill be back on at lest until 11pm.

My husband has a bunny thats he has had since birth he keeps it in our bed and never sleeps with out him.
What color is your teddy ?
have you named him ?

Thanks Ella. My teddy is a light brown colour and he is called William.

how are you doing?

Am doing ok .
Listening to some music and waiting for the hot water for my bath.
Am all aches and pains because i walked a lot today doing shopping and getting a game for my husband
so i bath will be great for my legs and back.

was the train busy ?
what are you up to at the moment?

I want some monster but my husband said ill be up all night if i drink that now.
I think he is right lol

yeah baths are good for that sort of thing.

yeah the train was pretty busy, but I took a dizepam to calm myself down and just watched a comedy show.
I'm just on facebook and watching more comedy at the moment.

hehe I think your husband may be right, monster at this time is a little silly :P

OOOOHHHHHHHHHHH Oliver , Isn't Diaz wonderful?Here for you

*Waves at Ella*

*hugs Mark* yeah it is pretty good. I would have literally not coped on the train without it

back from my bath my legs and back arent hurting as much now.
Feel a little triggered feel like cutting
:(

I'm glad the bath helped a bit Ella. sorry your triggered can you do anything to distract yourself.

the urge to OD is getting worse, sat here shaking like a leaf, my heart pounding.

Am so sorry you are feeling so bad ...maybe have an early night go to bed with your teddy and wrap your self up warm comfort yourself do good things for yourself.

I have to pray in a few minutes so that will keep me busy for a little then am going to bed then waking up at 3 am to do another prayer

I hope that you stay safe tonight
Pm me any time if you need to talk Oliver

Thanks Ella, I hope praying helps you and wow you must be dedicated to wake up at 3 am to pray, hope it helps keep you distracted though

Hi all, just after a chat and all reali, im 21 with two kids and suffering with depression

*hugs Louise*
*Hugs Mark* Well done for being weeks free! Thats excellent :)
*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Laura*
*Hugs Oliver* I'm sorry that you have strong urges to od
*Hugs xdanix* if okay? Hi i'm Ian welcome! How are you?
*Waves to Ella*

*hugs Ian* how are you?

Hi xDanix *waves* I'm Oliver how are you?

*Hugs Oliver* I'm doing ok thanks Oliver. How are you? Are the urges still as strong?

glad your ok Ian. the urges are still really strong, really want to go to a bridge near me to jump and I want to OD, cant stop thinking about it all. am going to take a diaz to see if that calms me down.

*Hugs Ian and Oliver* (If you're wondering how I know your names, Charlie's with me)

*hugs Dani* ahh cool, say hi to her from me.

HIIIIII OLIVER! (From Charlie)

Hi Charlie how are you and Dani?

Oh cool lol. Hiya Charlie :) how are you?

*Hugs Oliver* I'm sorry that the urges have not died down.

Hey Ian.
Erm, the lucozade has kicked in and me and Dani are HYPER!!!!!!!!

*hugs Ian*

*jumps on Charlie* hehe

*hugs Dani and Charlie and Ian and Oliver*

I've determined that if I'm to do NaNoWriMo I'll need to do my weekend writing during the week. When I'm home and it's a weekend day I either don't write at all or hardly anything.... *nods*
Aside from that I've been moving more stuff out of my office to archives... It's so cleared up I may take a day off this week just because I can... kind of a mini vacation of sorts, ya know?

*cuddles Oliver until the urges are run off*

How other than hyper are you Charlie?

*leaves hugs and party popper for Mark* Good job on 7 weeks. (it was 7 right? sorry its back a ways)

*Falls over* *Cuddles*
I'm good :) enjoying my night with Dani.

*cuddles back*good good.
g'night everybody :)

*hugs Crimson* night

*hugs Charlie* glad your having a good night

I cant sleep , really not feeling so well..:(
Oliver i think you should call some one if you are feeling that you are going to OD or feel like going to the bridge .
I hope the diaz help you

Hi Ella, sorry you can't sleep. sorry your not feeling well whats wrong?

the diaz has helped a little, but I gave into some urges and cut, a lot and quite deeply